


jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) meet again

by Nimmy



Category: No Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-04-06 11:23:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 71,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14055888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimmy/pseuds/Nimmy





	1. Chapter 1

Players only, backdated to mid June, the day after [they first met](http://jai-courtney.dreamwidth.org/516.html)

Jai struts into Citadel and straight to the bar, visions of last night with Wade plagued him all day and he needs a drink. A strong and possibly bottomless drink. He orders the barman to bring him his usual scotch rocks and to keep them coming.

There’s a buzz from his pocket as he sits down on a lounge in the middle of the room, he drags his phone out and sees a message from his office. Luckily for his secretary it is only confirmation of an appointment tomorrow and he’s very glad that a simple reply is all that is required.

Nodding his thanks to the barman he enquires if ‘Wade’ might be working tonight and within a few minutes the attractive young man returns with confirmation and Jai replies “No, thank you, I don’t want to book him.” As he sips his drink he again thinks about the previous night and the morning spent with the boy and just how much he wants to do it again, that kind of desire is dangerous.

Logan had gotten home at about 11am, he’d taken a long shower, pulled on his pj’s and lounged on his couch all afternoon reading - only leaving it to piss and grab coffee. By five he’s getting ready to go back to work - and he’s looking forward to a couple of days off. With his clothing shoved in a shoulder bag, food put down for his errant cat - Dwight - Logan heads back to Citadel. He’d tried not to think about the man he’d spent the night with - a clearly complicated man who had been in turns gruff and tender, harsh and gentle. He’d stood out as a client - one he won’t forget again any time soon he thinks.

Three drinks in and Jai is finally relaxing, there are a couple of boys standing together at the bar one of which is definitely his ‘type’ and Jai is considering having the boy suck him in the hope that since Wade didn’t get his mouth on Jai’s cock it may help to take his mind off it.

The next time the boy at the bar looks toward Jai he nods and waits for him to come over, “Will you suck me here?” His answer is an extremely red face and a stuttered, inaudible reply so he tells the boy to fuck off and sullenly goes back to his drink.

Tonight it’s skin tight black jeans, that hang so low on his hips, every one can see Logan has no underwear on - his white tee is tight, and cropped to just below his ribs, his hair is mussed, his lips are slick with gloss, his baby blue eyes smudged with kohl, black boots complete the look and Logan stalks into the main bar, all hips and attitude.

Jai is almost about to rise, still undecided if he will leave or go to the desk to book a boy (or one in particular). He isn’t used to struggling with his emotions when it comes to sex, up until now it has been the best place for him to be emotionless, all his passion directed at his business, his art. Then he sees _the boy_ looking even more like a slut than the night before and something coils tight and low in his belly. Before he realises what he’s doing Jai is on his feet and approaching fast.

Logan is about to head to the bar to check in with the bar staff when out of the corner of his eye he catches movement - he turns, and his eyes widen as he takes in his client from last night. The man looks distinctly disgruntled.

“Mr Courtney!” Logan turns to greet him.

Jai wants to call this boy a slut, wants to slap his face and throw him over his shoulder like the whore he is and a frown crosses his face. This boy is making him want to do things he never thought of before, humiliation is not one of Jai’s kinks, has never been. It is so dangerous and so appealing and he is warring with himself.The sensible Jai says he should leave, walk away from this, his baser self wants to fuck the little bitch into next week.

A tilt of the boy’s head and the crease in his forehead suddenly have Jai seeing the gorgeous sweet boy he woke up with this morning and his libido wins out. “Are you available tonight?” He growls.

Something in Logan is telling him to say ‘No’, an internal alarm ringing loud and clear that this man, with his obvious issues, is someone he should stay clear of, at least for the time being. He’s had clients come back with in 24 hours before - brain chemistry getting the better of common sense in most instances. But instead of saying ‘no’ he opts for “Can I get a drink and we’ll talk over what you’re looking for?” Always the professional.

There is some sense in what the boy is saying, Jai nods once then returns to his lounge, half of his last drink still sitting on the table where he left it. He watches Wade’s every move, sees the boy he rejected earlier looking him over and has to supress a sneer.

Logan collects his drink, a coke, with a shit tonne of ice and a lime slice, and heads back to the table the Sir had taken. He slides into the seat beside him, his brow raised when he realises that Mr Courtney - is rubbing himself through his pants.

“Problem?” he inclines his head.

Jai pulls his hand back like he’s burned, “No, unless you count me being hard and your mouth not on it.” He shakes his head, “Fuck, sorry.” And there’s two things he’s never said to a sub before. “If you’re available tonight,” he starts again, voice controlled, “I would like to scene with you again.” It’s like pulling teeth but Jai is polite as possible.

Logan takes a long drink of his coke, his eyes never leaving the man’s face, he sets his glass down, and licks a stray bead of soda from his lower lip. “I am available, but I’m afraid I have concerns with regards to playing with you again - so soon after last night,” Logan sets his hands on his thighs and makes it clear he’s the one with the power when it comes to this negotiations. “Sometimes, when we’ve scened, particularly if our needs haven’t been successfully met in recent weeks, it can mess with our heads - top space is a powerful thing - very powerful. It’s my job to ensure that we both approach a repeat arrangement from a safe place,”

Jai sits up, looming over the boy, “Are you lecturing me slut?” he growls, hurt at the rejection and the knowledge that the boy is probably right, “You can just say no and be done with it.” Pushing his glass away he pulls a ten dollar bill from his pocket and throws it on the table. His pride won’t let him stay now so he stands and leaves the bar.

Logan watches the man stalk off, his back rigid with anger. “Asshole,” he murmurs as he picks up his coke again. The one thing they drill into you here, as a house submissive, is safety - and he has done nothing he wasn’t supposed to - indeed now he’s wondering if he should report Mr Courtney to his supervisor - for showing such blatant disregard toward negotiations - the key stone to consensual and safe play.

Blowing out a breath, Logan pushes to his feet, and heads back to the bar - drink in hand - ready for any other potential client.

In no fit state to drive Jai takes his car from the attendant and drives much too fast out of town and north to his beach house in Malibu. It’s a long drive and he opens the windows so the sea air can clear his head and hopefully he can sort out what the fuck this boy is doing to him and why the hell it’s happening now.

END

Comments welcome and screened.


	2. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney - Alone Time

Players only, takes place mid June 2014 after [Jai and Logan meet a second time](http://jai-courtney.dreamwidth.org/839.html)

 

After his appointment in Santa Monica Jai calls his secretary and takes the day off, aside from occasional weekends and a trip back home about a year ago Jai hasn’t had a single day off since he settled in LA. He assures his secretary, David, that he is “Fine, but the surf’s up and it’s been a while.”

David understands Jai’s code for _leave me the fuck alone_ in its various forms so will make sure his boss is undisturbed for as long as he needs. He is about as close to a friend that Jai has and he very much appreciates David (who is also well rewarded for all his efforts), he knows that his life would be a whole lot harder here if not for that man.

It has been some time since Jai last dusted off his surfboard, the swell isn’t great today but waves aren’t what Jai needs - he needs a quiet place to think.

Most of his life Jai has been alone, he is an only child with professional parents so became self sufficient early on, he has mates, a couple of close ones who he sees when he is home and acquaintences here in The States, he hosts parties for clients and networks where he needs to, often with a beautiful young lady on his arm. Never with the same one twice.

He knows himself well which is why he can dominate in such a controlled way, making others lose control is what drew and still draws Jai to scene. His recent loss of that control, the way he spoke to Wade and the way he wanted to humiliate the boy disturbed him greatly. Jai has never wanted to do that to someone he didn’t know (of course he’s known assholes that have totally deserved the dressing down he’d given them).

The boy was right to say what he did and even though Jai left being really pissed off and driving when he was bordering on drunk that was also for the best, he was in the most wrong frame of mind for what he thought he wanted. His only regret was insulting Wade with the ten dollar tip.

It is strange for Jai to have to consider his emotions, he has no fond memories of relationships, only that of being cheated out of money and pride by a woman he was warned about. Sometimes Jai is sad that he hasn’t found love as an adult yet it isn’t something he misses.

This boy however, is stirring something inside Jai, a deep and strange desire, not love and not pure want either. If it were either he could deal with it, cut it off and move on.

Sitting there in the water with his board between his legs is nowhere for Jai to get hard but he does, memories of the way the boy responded like a played instrument, the music coming from his mouth in sighs and gasps … Jai’s desire surges again and his mind is made up. If there is anything there to be had with the boy Jai will find out. At the very least he owes Wade a sincere apology.

 

END

Comments welcome and screened


	3. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) Jai Apologises

Players only, back dated to mid June 2014 after [Jai considers his behaviour](http://jai-courtney.dreamwidth.org/1157.html)

The day after Jai decides to see Wade again he calls Citadel to find out when the boy will be available, for good or ill it isn’t until the following friday night. After making a booking for two hours and a reservation at the best restaurant he leaves a message for Wade:

_Please allow me to apologise for my behaviour by being my guest at dinner. Jai_

Jai hasn’t come so far in his business in this town without knowing how to treat people well, he hopes that Wade will give him the chance.

When Logan checks in to collect his messages and schedule after 3 days off, he’s more than a little surprised when he finds a message from the dominant who he’s since christened ‘The Asshole’. He’d decided against speaking to his manager about the negotiations issue - and now he’s faced with having to see the guy again he’s wondering if he made the right choice.

He reads the message again, he’s almost impressed that an apology is on offer, but it’s the ‘Jai’ that swings it - the offer of a first name from such a closed off man. Logan confirms the date and heads off to get ready.

Jai is waiting at a table in the restaurant, taking a chance that the boy will join him but prepared to eat alone if he doesn’t. He purposely chose this place so that Wade will know he is not expected to perform sexually unless they take it somewhere else, he hopes that will reassure the boy.

He double checks the details and Logan is further impressed when he discovers Jai has reserved them a table at the classiest of Citadel’s restaurants, the one where you don’t get to fuck over dessert. So he swaps out his clothing, a nice blue button down shirt and black dress pants, he even polished his black dress shoes. He’s smoothed down his hair into something less ‘just been ravaged’ and left his make up aside.

He smiles at the maitre’d when he wanders in and is directed to where his ‘date’ is already seated. A deep breath and Logan slips a professional smile on his face.

For a moment Jai is tempted to rub his eyes just to be sure of what he is seeing, then he is on his feet as Wade approaches the table. “Hello Wade, thank you for coming.” Jai takes the boy’s hand and lifts it, placing a very tender kiss on the back. While he is aware that he is paying for Wade’s time Jai is determined that the boy will not feel like the whore he accused him of being.

It’s not often that Logan is taken aback in this manner - this is an entirely different man to the one he’d last encountered, he seems almost - contrite.

“Mr Courtney,” Logan acknowledges the greeting with easy grace. “This,” he waves a hand at their surroundings, “Is a pleasant surprise, I’m not often required to attend here,” Nope, his clients usually want a slutty ‘teenage’ boy to play with, the kind of boy who does not belong in a high end restaurant.

“Sit, please,” Jai indicates a chair opposite his, “I was hoping that you didn’t feel like you were _required to attend_.” He sits himself and nods to the sommelier, “This is my offer of apology for my poor behaviour the other night. You were right to question my motives and I was extremely rude in reply.”

Logan takes his seat, leaning back as he listens, blue eyes intent as they take in the other man. “No I didn’t feel obliged, we’re allowed to refuse a client if we choose to,” His tone is even, better to let the man know he’s been given a second chance, and that he, Logan, can still walk away if he feels the need to. “And yes, you were, really fucking rude, but then I know dom drop can be an as much as a bitch as sub drop,”

“Dom drop?” That is a new term to Jai, he isn’t used to what he experienced with Wade but he has felt worn out after a scene often enough. “Wine?” Jai tastes and approves of the wine. “It doesn’t matter, I was rude and I apologise.”

“Please,” Logan nods at the offer. “Dom drop, your body or brain crashing after a scene, it can be within hours or after a few days. When we play, all kinds of happy chemicals are released into our bodies, they make us feel high, or spaced, or in your case I guess, powerful and buzzed,” He nods his thanks when his glass is filled before continuing. “It hits people in different ways, they can feel hungover, tearful, grumpy as fuck, or just under the weather, it can be very disconcerting,”

Jai considers what the boy is saying, he wants to call this ‘Dom drop’ an excuse but his manners won’t allow him to say it. “I see how that might be the case and I’ll bear it in mind for the future.” Jai’s biggest concern about all of this is how much impact a single scene has had on him. He has been scening for the best part of ten years and not once been affected like this.

“But thank you for the apology,” Logan lifts his glass. “Not many men I know would have stepped up like that,”

“I’m not a complete asshole,” Jai offers in his own defense, adding a smile to prove it.

Logan raises one brow, his blue eyes dance in amusement, “You sure about that?” he teases, with a cheeky wink. They’re not in role, so he’s not prepared to push down all his personality for the sake of business.

Jai’s smile widens, this is definitely not the boy in the slutty shorts and he is relieved. “Fairly sure.” He wants to engage Wade in a conversation that isn’t about sex but Jai isn’t sure where to start. This is the boy’s job … _or is it?_ “Do you work anywhere else? Or does this pay for college?”

“No, just here, and no, not yet,” Logan lifts his shoulders and his gaze drops, he’s not about to admit to this man, who he’s already figured out is very smart indeed, that he didn’t even get his High School Diploma. “I’ve only been working here a year, still catching up with bills and stuff,”

“So you plan to study at some point?” Jai takes a menu from their waiter and opens it but doesn’t look away from Wade’s face, “Or are you saving for something else?”

“I would love to study,” Logan’s admission is an easy one to make. The details less so. “I have a plan, of sorts, and things are on schedule,” He sips his drink. “So what are you going to have?” he nods at the menu, wanting to change the subject.

“Glad to hear that,” Jai finally glances at the menu, “the steak looks good, and I’ll try their Waldorf, see if they can make it something worth eating.” He wants to press the boy for more details about his plans, purely out of curiosity but that might have to wait for now. “Unless you can suggest something else.”

“No, the steaks here are to die for,” Logan nods, at least so he’s been told. He picks up his own menu now, scans it and closes it with barely a pause.

“Please may I have the lamb? With the tiny pomme frite they do here?” He loves lamb - and he rarely gets to eat it - a huge treat indeed.

“I haven’t eaten here before so it will be interesting,” Jai offers, he feels a need to carry the conversation, “there’s a lot of chefs who are putting their own special spin on old favourites. I like to see what they can do.”

“Neither have I,” Logan admits, he sets aside the menu and returns to his wine. “But there’s one thing you’re pretty guaranteed with here - it’ll be top quality,”

“Most everything that Citadel provides is top quality,” Jai does not flinch or look away from Wade.

It takes a moment, his incomprehension clear for Jai to see, then Logan’s skin pinks up and his drops his gaze again. He’s not used to be complimented like that - no, he’s more used to being verbally abused - at least in work - so it sits uncomfortably with him - and that disconcerts him.

Jai signals for the waiter with a nod and orders for them before topping up their glasses. “Have you eaten at the other restaurants here?”

“No,” Logan shakes his head. “My clients aren’t usually looking for the kind of boy who they can take somewhere nice,” he shrugs it off. It is what it is, and he’s good at his niche. “So this is a real treat, thank you,”

Jai is curious, “Your _clients_ , the way you say it sounds like you don’t enjoy your job, but you seemed to like it the other night?” The question is gentle, unjudged, “It strikes me that in your particular profession you would need to like your work.”

“I do like my work,” Logan tone is clearly defensive. “I’m exceptionally lucky to work here,”

“It’s your clients that you don’t like.” Jai knows he isn’t helping but that’s the most the boy has said since Wade stopped lecturing him.

“I didn’t say that either, like I said before, I can say no, I’m entitled to that much,” Logan’s shoulders are stiff and he’s picked up his napkin to fiddle with. “Why are you asking me this?” His discomfort apparent.

“Just making conversation,” Jai replies mildly, “that’s what people do at dinner. Why don’t you tell me what you’d like to talk about?”

Logan presses his lips together for a moment, then he takes a deep breath.

“Tell me about you, what do you do? Where to you live? Home is clearly Australia...tell me about that,” Yeah, they get classes in small talk here too. Logan leans in. “Have you been to Uluru? I’ve seen pictures it looks so beautiful,”

All right, if that’s what he wants, “I have been to Uluru and it’s as spectacular as all the pictures you’ve seen, you can stand about a kilometer away and for an hour before sunset the colour of it changes every few minutes. I’ve been all around the bottom of it but I didn’t climb, a lot of people do but the traditional owners prefer you don’t, as a mark of respect …” Jai talks then for what is for him a long time, he can’t remember the last time he talked this much that wasn’t about a project or was about himself. He tells Wade how he built his house in Malibu and about his work and how much he loves it when it feels more like art than just buildings. He hardly stops talking until their meals arrive.

This, Logan can do, he listens, and for once, he’s actually interested. He can tell that Jai isn’t used to talking about himself - and he reveals more than he intended for someone as astute as Logan in reading people. And Logan’s impressed, smart, hot, loaded and talented; he’ll make someone a great catch.

Leaning back to allow his meal to placed in front of him, his eyes widen at the feast on his plate. “So, there’s no one important?” he glances up at his ‘date’. “No guy or girl you take out on real dates?”

Jai almost laughs, “No one understands me.” It’s a cliche but in Jai’s case it’s almost true, “Seriously though, I don’t trust too many people and I don’t let them get close,” he shrugs, he has also said enough.

“I hear you,” Logan nods, “Though I never understood why you need to ‘understand’ someone, isn’t that what a relationship is? The continual figuring out of someone you like?” He settles his napkin in his lap and picks up his silverware.

“Not sure I even know,” Jai can smell the steak and his mouth is watering, “just when you think you have it worked out it all goes to shit in my experience.” He quickly shoves a large piece of meat in his mouth before he says any more.

Logan takes that as his cue to start in on his food. He sets about it with quiet determination, relishing each mouthful. There were too many days when he didn’t eat at all - and even now, when he has regular money, his own roof and as many meals a day as he likes - he never forgets. “Sublime, that’s the right word huh? When something is just perfect?” he sets his silverware down to pick up his wine - a pause to prolong the pleasure.

“Yeah, it’s one of them,” Jai agrees, his steak is pretty good and the salad is, “interesting, is another one.” The salad is a deconstruction spread around a moon shaped plate, he’s not sure where to start.

“No, mine is definitely sublime, I like that word,” Logan peers over his glass at Jai’s apparent confusion over his salad. “Just mix is all up and eat it,” he observes with a smile.

Jai shrugs, “They could have done that to start with.” He glances around and no one seems to care what they’re doing, “Ah fuckit,” he finally gives in and picks up the plate, scraping it all off and over his steak.

Logan laughs, his nose wrinkles up and he laughs. It’s not something he’s inclined to do very often, but here he is - because Jai seems so fucking ‘controlled’ and here he is mussing up his beautifully presented plate of food.

“All goes down the same way right?” he winks again and returns to his own food.

Wade’s laugh catches Jai by surprise, it’s such a free and delightful sound coming from the very guarded boy. He vows to make it happen again. “Right.”

There is a short while of companionable silence while they eat, interrupted only by the waiter pouring more wine and asking Jai if he is finished with his salad plate to which he replies thankyou and winks at a grinning Wade. Once they are done Jai calls for the menu again and asks, “Can I tempt you with dessert Wade?”

Like he’s going to say no, even if he’s already full. “Yes please,” and this time he doesn’t need the menu. “What ever there is, that has strawberries in,” Strawberries - are his achilles heel - there is not much Logan won’t do for a dish of ripe, sweet strawberries.

“Strawberries?” Hmmm, Jai tucks that away for now, “Okay,” he hands back the menus without looking either, “we’ll have two of whatever has fresh strawberries in it and a bottle of good Moscato please.”

Leaning back in his seat, Logan makes no attempt to hide his scrutiny of the other man. “You’re like a completely different person today,” he says softly.

Jai shakes his head, “I was a completely different person the other night,” he corrects Wade. “When I scene I get really focused, I don’t let emotions affect me,” Jai cuts his eyes away and admits, “I shouldn’t have fucked you so early.”

“Huh,” Logan huffs out the surprised noise. “Dude, you can do what you like with me once we’ve agreed terms, spend the whole time fucking me if that’s what you want,”

Jai frowns, “No, that’s not what I meant, the scene … I had a plan but you,” intense blue eyes bore into the boy, “you were perfect.” He didn’t want to _want_ this boy so much, and yet one thought about holding him in chains is enough to scramble all Jai’s good intentions and prove that he wasn’t imagining things. “I think that we shouldn’t talk about it now. Tonight is for dinner, we can negotiate that another time.”

Logan was about to protest that he’s really not ‘perfect’ when Jai makes it abundantly clear he doesn’t want to discuss it any further. “Okay,” He’s also bemused by the fact the man clearly does see this dinner as a kind of apology - a real one - and not a precursor to a fuck later on tonight.

No amount of effort can get that out of his head now so Jai tries to just move it aside. He searches for anything that isn’t sex, “Strawberries. You like strawberries?”

Another laugh, “Yes, that’s why I asked for them, I adore strawberries, for some people it’s cigarettes or alcohol...for me it’s strawberries - my crack, if you like,”

‘I’m not sure I have anything like that,” Jai admits out loud and to himself adds _unless it’s you breaking at my hands_ , “but I do like a good scotch. Hmm Glenfiddich Black is my favourite.”

“I noticed you like your scotch,” Logan turns his glass in his hands, he’d refused the last offer of a top up on the wine. “I know nothing about the stuff, other than I don’t like it,” he smiles, up under his lashes, an unintentionally flirtatious move.

"It's an acquired taste, I find bourbon too sweet." The look isn't lost on Jai, for now he chooses to ignore it though he doesn't want to, "But you like wine?"

“I guess,” Logan shrugs again. “I don’t know what I like, I know I don’t like red wine, but this is nice - whatever it is,” he holds up the glass. “Like I said, I don’t get taken out to dinner, and it’s not something I would buy myself,”

“I ordered a moscato to go with dessert, you’ll like it, it’s sweet and tingles, it’s perfect for that or before dinner, personally it’s a little too sweet for me but it’s a safe bet if you don’t know what your guest likes.” Jai likes wine, he’s by no means an expert but he does know what he likes. “That,” he indicates his glass, “is a semillion sauvignon blanc, another safe bet. They are usually crisp and light with a citrus hint, nothing too challenging. Ideally I’d have had red with my steak and if I knew your tastes might have suggested a rose` with your lamb.”

“My tastes?” Logan smiles again, “Usually lend toward simple easy food, cos I barely cook, and I like the occasional cherry coke float as a treat,” Yeah, Logan’s not letting his youth show there at all...not a bit. “This,” he waves his hand at the table, “is an exception, a very lovely one,”

Jai grants Wade one of his rare smiles, something that has happened more this evening than usual, “I know what you mean. I’ve been searching for a decent hamburger since I got here, but I do cook, I have a pretty impressive bar-b-que...” It is on the tip of his tongue to extend an invitation, something he would do for anyone he was beginning to consider a friend and his smile fades. It is obvious to Jai that anything that happens here at Citadel, no matter how strong his desire, is all business for this boy, he hasn’t been shy about that at all. “But I’m glad you’re enjoying it, that was my intention.”

The smile is gorgeous - and Logan finds himself thinking it’s a shame that they appear to be so rare. “I can give you the address of a great place for a real diner style burger and fries deal,” Logan offers, he saw that sudden change in mood, and he’s seen it before, knows what it means.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the evening?” He leans in, elbows on the table. “I imagine you work long hours huh?”

“Yes, I do and unfortunately tomorrow is going to be one of those days,” Jai is glad that he meant for this to just be dinner, he does have an early meeting and won’t be tempted into a late night, “I have to get myself home soon.”

“That’s cool, it’s been a really lovely change to spend some time like this,” Logan smiles. “I’m assuming you’d like to see me again though, at some point?”

Jai doesn’t answer right away, of course he wants to see the boy again but there is a niggling doubt after how he reacted, on the other hand now that he has that insight it is possible he will have more control over himself. “Yes, if you would agree to it,” there is no way Jai can pass up such a perfect boy.

“I’d be happy to, subject to negotiations,” Logan nods, smiling. “You apologised for last time, we’ve got to know each other better, that makes me very comfortable, so yeah, that’d be great,”

“That’s good,” Jai nods. He is startled at the arrival of their dessert and sits back so the waiter can place the plates in front of them. “And this looks like it will be too.”

Logan’s eyes widen as he takes in the dessert, “Oooh, look at that!” He inspects it for a moment before picking up his spoon. “It’s almost too pretty to break,”

“Almost,” Jai is again staring straight at Wade. His gut twists as he drags his eyes away from the boy and down to the dessert. Jai picks at it, the strawberries are sweet and the gelato is smooth but all he wants is to know what it tastes like on those lips.

Once more Logan’s attention is on his food, he takes small bites, savouring each as the flavours spill over his tongue, making contented little noises when he gets a particularly strong taste of strawberry. When he’s done he sets his silverware down and leans back in is seat. “Ugh, I wish this was the end of my shift, I’d happily just sit and digest all that right now,”

Jai has more than half of his dessert still on his plate, he doesn't eat a lot of sweets as a rule. "Here, have mine, I can't eat it," when Wade's eyes meet Jai's he adds, "and don't worry about the rest of the night."

Logan shakes his head at the offer of more dessert, he’s already full, and if he’s going to get fucked tonight, he’s going to get uncomfortable, pretty damned quickly - but then Jai adds the rest, his words making Logan frown. “You only booked a two hour slot, I thought you had a long day tomorrow?”

"I do," Jai replies steadily, wanting more than anything to be the one doing the fucking but determined to stick to his guns, "the rest of the night is on me, no strings."

Logan’s eyes widen, “But...” he shakes his head as if to clear it. “Um, does that mean you want to hang out with me or not? I’m confused,” he admits, eyes on the other man. He’s never ever had a client offer what he thinks is being laid out here, and he doesn’t know what the protocol is.

Jai smiles tenderly, there is a hint of the real boy and as Jai suspected he is beautiful. "I meant for you to have a night for yourself, after dinner I am going home and you are free to do what you want, you don't have to take another client and if you want a second dessert it's yours,"

“Oh!” The frown is back for a brief moment. “Um, can you excuse me? I need to check in with my supervisor, I’ll be right back,” he offers Jai a smile. He leaves the table and heads to the maitre‘d’s table and uses the phone to call his boss and get some clarity on how to proceed.

When he comes back he’s smiling. “Thank you,” he retakes his seat, and then reaches for the half finished dessert sat in front of the other man.

"Wait," Jai catches Wade's hand before it reaches the plate, seeing the flash of concern in the boy's eyes he quickly adds, "there's a fresh one coming."

The touch does something to Logan, it lights up where the man’s fingers play over his skin and he goes utterly still, it’s ingrained in him never to flinch, so he doesn’t. “Why’re you being so nice to me?” The words emerge from his mouth, long before his brain can filter and stop them, and it’s Logan talking, not Wade.

"An apology." There is no lie in Jai's words, "If something is worth doing it's worth doing properly."

There’s no other word for it, but Logan squirms in his seat, like a 12 year old boy - uncomfortable and unsettled at, what for him, is a bizarre display of behaviour. “You only had to say sorry,”

As far as Jai is concerned it’s done and he has nothing more to say on the matter, he wipes his mouth with the napkin and pushes out his chair. “May I ask you for something?”

Logan nods, “Yes, of course,” he slides out of his own seat now it’s clear that Jai is leaving.

He steps closer and slides one large hand around the back of Wade’s head and tilts it back, “A kiss,” Jai murmurs as he leans in and tenderly presses open the boy’s mouth with his own.

They’re there again, the sparks the moment the other man touches him, and Logan makes a soft noise of surprise, moments later he’s rising up on his toes to wrap his arms around Jai’s neck, his mouth open, his body leaning in. And for once there is no artifice, it’s genuine lust.

After a few blissful, strawberry flavoured moments Jai pulls back, gently disengaging the boy from around his neck. “Good night Wade.”

It’s on the tip of his tongue to ask the man to stay, but he doesn’t, he steps back, arms dropping to his sides, his eyes never leaving Jai’s face. “Good night Sir,” he murmurs.

On the way out Jai speaks to the maitre’d and makes sure that Wade has whatever he wants and to charge it to Jai’s account, he is assuming that Wade will not abuse his hospitality. Then he leaves with only one single glance over his shoulder. This night will bear thinking about.

END

<http://www.tabugrill.com/strawberry-dessert/>

Comments welcome and screened


	4. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) Another Date

Players only, back dated to late June, 2014

 

Three long days of meetings about a new project and Jai is ready for a break, on the fourth day he sends David home early and leaves the office, loosening his tie as he heads for his car. Any time that he wasn’t engrossed in work Jai has found himself thinking of the boy, instead of going home he drives to Citadel and heads to the bar. It’s still early, he orders his favourite drink and sits at a booth.

The evening he’d spent with Jai had left Logan distinctly rattled, he’d gone home, taken the second dessert with him in a carry out container. He pulled on his pajamas, curled up on his battered old, but comfortable sofa, fired up a movie and laid there, staring at the screen without seeing a single thing. Logan is just not used to people being nice to him, rather being nice to him with no expectation of some return - usually a sexual one. It sits odd - and then there’s the way he reacted to those touches. That spark - it’s a dangerous thing - he decides, but then he’s also acutely aware he won’t say no if Jai requests him again.

A day off, and straight back in, tight black pants and a see thru black tee, mussed hair and his usual makeup - and Logan’s heading to the main bar - his booking cancelled at the last minute, so he’s at a loose end.

Jai wars with himself for about a second when Wade walks through the door, before the boy gets to the bar Jai is there. “Hi, can I get you a drink?” It’s a friendly request, Jai feels like he knows the Wade better now so his usual gruff manner is easier to tame.

The smile is on Logan’s face in moments, “Oh hello! Yes, please!” he reaches out to give Jai’s arm a quick squeeze. “How’s work?” He eyes up the dishevelled suit, the missing tie. “You look like you’ve been busy,”

“New project, it’s big,” Jai signals the barman and points to his empty glass, “first few days are always the worst.”

“You here to blow off some steam? Or just have a drink and relax?” Logan turns his hip to the bar. “Cherry coke, ice please,” he says as a side to the barman.

“A bit of both,” Jai picks up his glass and nods toward his booth, “care to join me?”

When he has his drink, complete with a straw, he follows on after Jai, sliding into the seat beside the other man. “Thank you for the other night, I had a lovely time,”

“So did I,” Jai replies honestly. He sips from his scotch and licks his lips as he looks at Wade, he takes an internal deep breath - Jai wants this boy so much he’s already hardening in his pants and he knows that if he takes him upstairs he is going to enjoy it. However if he does take Wade for the night it means he will have to deal with how he feels about it.

Jai has never let fear get the better of him. “Are you free tonight?”

“Yes, my only booking just cancelled,” Logan nods, and he can’t deny the way his belly tightens at Jai’s words. _Please ask me...._

“Would you like to join me for the evening?” Jai sees something in Wade’s eyes and hopes it is a positive answer.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Logan grins, picking up his glass he sucks down on some of his soda. “What did you have in mind Sir?”

“Now that would be telling,” Jai smiles crookedly. “Why don’t you start by showing me the same attention you’re giving that straw?”

Logan all but spits out the molded plastic, and then he’s pulling his legs up, and folding them under himself so he’s kneeling on the seat, then he leans in. “Kiss, Sir?”

Jai raises an amused eyebrow, it’s not exactly what he was going for but it’s a good place to start. He nods once, allowing that giving the boy his way, for a while at least, might be interesting.

Arms once more around the Sir’s neck, Logan leans in, he nuzzles at Jai’s mouth simply enjoying the scent of him, the subtle smell of scotch, the barely there scratching of whiskers over his lips. Then he presses a kiss to Jai’s mouth, tentative, hesitant, but full of want.

Opening to the boy Jai leans back, ass sliding down the seat a little, and pulls Wade over his lap so he is straddling Jai, perfectly positioned to grind up into those tight packed Jeans. He growls lowly as his tongue presses past Wade’s white teeth and his hands cover two perfectly formed ass cheeks.

Logan gives as good as he gets now he’s been given the go ahead. He rocks his ass back and forth, Jai’s arousal pressing up against his junk. He hums and then pulls back just enough to get his breath, his forehead resting against Jai’s. “All night? Do you want me all night?”

“Yes,” Jai too is somewhat breathless, “fuck yes.” His hands start to move, up Wade’s back and into his hair, “You want me to hurt you again boy? I’m going to ruin that gorgeous ass of yours, inside and out.”

“Yes please! Yes please Sir,” Logan nods enthusiastically. “Want that,”

For a split second the boy looks just like that, a boy, and it makes Jai a little sad that someone so obviously full of life and joy is working like this to earn a living (he knows full well it would be a decent living none the less). “Me too,” but Jai isn’t quite ready to stop what they are doing right now. He summons a waiter and instructs him to get a room key, giving his name and saying that they will know at the desk which is his favourite, before gripping Wade’s hips hard and grinding up again. “Weren’t you doing something?”

“Yes,” A quick, kiss to Jai’s lower lip and then Logan leans back to rub his ass over that lovely thick bulge. “Being naughty and getting you all aroused I think,” he teases, he flirts with his eyes, giving Jai glimpses of blue from under artificially lengthened lashes.

Until now Jai hadn’t noticed those lashes and he doesn’t know how he missed it, he growls lowly and stands, gracefully lowering the boy to the table. “Fucking cock tease,” Jai gets an arm under a leg and tries his level best to fuck the boy right through their pants, “Wade …”

“Sir!” Logan whines, hips rising up begging for more. “Please Sir...please fuck me...” His hands reach up, seeking hold on what ever he can reach, silky smooth suit material, the scratchy skin of a whiskered neck.

Jai is a hair’s breadth from turning Wade over right here and now and pounding the boy into the table, he isn’t even sure he can wait until after he has hurt him. “Alright, you better get up then.” He stands and sets himself to rights, searching out the waiter he spoke to earlier and approaches the man as soon as he sees a keycard in his hand.

Logan’s a little unsteady on his feet, his own arousal has been hard and fast, he follows Jai as he takes the card and heads for the door, falling in beside him, he reaches out to put his hand in the other mans.

Not a flicker of acknowledgement across Jai’s face but inside he warms at the touch. He is silent until they get into the lift then turns and presses the boy against the wall. Using their joined hands to raise Wade’s arm over his head he lifts his other to meet it before he greedily kisses the boy and says, “Gonna fuck you, can’t fucking wait.”

“Please Sir,” Logan whimpers into the kiss, “Use me...please use me...”

He all but drags the boy to the room, deftly opening Wade’s jeans and pushing them over his perfect ass. As the door closes behind them Jai lifts Wade, carries him to the bed and drops him on his back. “Knees up,” Jai doesn’t even bother to get those too tight jeans off first, he just bends the boy at the hips. Pants open, condom on and slicked, Jai roughly shoves two slimy fingers into Wade’s hole then follows it with his hard as steel cock, grunting as the boy’s body accepts him.

Bottom lip caught between his teeth, Logan makes a soft noise of discomfort as his ass is stretched, forced to open up. He curls his hands behind his knees and bares down, his lip released as he starts to pant.

“Oh fuck,” Jai groans, thrusting as slowly as he can with so much desperation to get inside that heat. His hands are still everywhere, fine warm skin under them and once Jai is fully inside the boy he starts to pump in earnest.

It’s going to be a quick and dirty fuck, clearly Jai needs to take an edge off, and Logan can get behind that - he uses his body to heighten the other man’s pleasure, gifts him his own noises, little whimpering cries as his own skin lights up under those touches. And Logan keeps his eyes fixed on the Sir’s face, drinking it in, loving what he sees there.

It is indeed quick, Jai reaches orgasm in less than a minute, something of a record for him but he’s not about to tell the boy that. He stills as he comes, stroking Wade’s sides, and rests his head briefly on Wade’s knee. “Thank you,” Jai mutters as he pulls out, “I needed that.”

“Clearly,” Logan straightens out his legs and pushes up, hands behind him on the bed. “Stressful few days huh?”

Jai chuckles as he pulls off the condom, “Yeah,” he then takes a few minutes to get out of his suit and hang it over the back of a chair and dropping his shirt over the top. Scrubbing at his hair Jai makes his way back to the bed and climbs on, “You want to get naked Wade?”

“Sure,” Logan nods, and reaches down to push off his boots and discard his pants, his underwear - such as it was - follows moments later and then his top. All folded and set aside. Then he climbs up beside Jai. “You need to let me know what you want tonight. Negotiations and all that,” he settles on his butt, his legs crossed.

Shoving another pillow behind his head Jai leans up against the headboard of the bed, “What I want first is for you to come and sit here,” there’s a half smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes as he pats his lap, his flaccid cock safely inside his cotton boxer shorts.

Logan raises a brow in question. “In your lap?” And when Jai nods, he pushes up to drop onto all fours and crawl his way into the indicated spot. He wriggles to get comfortable and then tilts his head back to look up into the Sir’s face. “Okay?”

“Perfect, let’s negotiate.” Jai immediately puts his hands on Wade, running them over his chest and abs, he can see the boy is still very aroused, hard, red and leaking, but they will get to that soon enough. “Tonight I would like to put you back on the bench if you don’t mind,” he says with deceptive mildness.

Logan shivers under the touch, his skin goosebumping. “Yeah that’s fine...” he swallows and nods. “And? I need to know what else you want to do, how hard you want to hurt me,” Because he can see that particular need here - his inner masochist stirred by something in this man.

“You’re spoiling the surprise,” Jai whispers as his lips meet Wade’s neck and sucks hard. He knows that the boy is right to ask and he has every intention telling him as soon as he is finished bruising the pale flesh.

“No surprises allowed Sir,” Logan’s voice hitches at the way his skin is pulled into Jai’s mouth. _I’m not your lover..._ “Club rules,” he adds softly, his fingers reaching out to wrap around the man’s arm.

“I know gorgeous,” Jai mentally curses himself for letting out the endearment, “I was only teasing.” His hand is now on Wade’s cock, a slow drag up and down, his thumb spreading slick drops. “Are you okay with more of what we did last time? Perhaps with a short cat, hmmm? So I can pink you all up your back …”

“Yes Sir,” Logan’s head drops to Jai’s shoulder, his breathing becoming more erratic. “S’fine,”

“So,” Jai continues touching and rubbing the boy, pinching his nipples and lightly biting his shoulder as he speaks, “shall we get you off? Or do you want to hold on so it hurts more?” He stills for a moment and waits for the boy’s sleepy eyes to meet his, “It’s up to you?”

“I want to wait,” Logan murmurs, as much as he wants to cum right now, he knows his own body - he’ll take more, last longer during a beating if he’s on edge. “Thank you Sir,”

Jai growls and bites harder on Wade’s neck, he doesn’t break the skin but it’s a near thing as his own arousal starts to surge again. “Right then boy,” he says gruffly, “into the bathroom and clean your ass for me while I set up … first thing I’m going to do is eat your pretty hole.”

“Yes Sir,” It’s an awkward climb out of Jai’s lap - partly because Logan is a little uncoordinated, his limbs not quite obeying him, and also it seems, despite his words the Sir does not want to let him go. He makes it however, and heads straight for the bathroom.

He’s still smiling as the boy stumbles away, sensing that he is already sinking into the scene. Jai rubs himself through his shorts and heads first for a different drawer to slip a rubber ring around his growing erection, he wants to be able to maintain some self control tonight. He then easily slides the spanking bench out into the middle of the floor and sets lube and condoms under it as well as some soft leather strapping and bulldog clips, wrist cuffs almost as an afterthought.

Logan reappears minutes later, he’s a little more centred, having used the time to calm himself while he ran through the routine clean out he knows is required. His gaze turns on Jai the moment he’s in view and pads over to him. “Sir,” he says softly.

_Fuck, he’s beautiful._ “Boy,” Jai replies, growling lowly, “up on the bench, and keep your cock where I can see it.” He watches every movement as Wade moves, the play of muscle under smooth skin. When he has finished drinking in the sight Jai moves toward the bench and asks, “Can you keep your hands still or do you need to be cuffed?”

Skin to cool leather, his cheek pressed against the sensuous smelling material he lets out a sigh. “I can keep still Sir,” he assures the other man. “I’m a good boy,”

“Yes you are.” Jai picks up the leather strapping, it is soft and thin, about an inch wide and he feels the grip he needs on the back side of it. He wraps the boy’s cock, starting just below the tip, loose enough not to injure but close enough that he will feel the leather around him when he hardens further. A last loop around his sac then Jai brings the ends up between Wade’s ass cheeks and pulls it wide, exposing his hole as he uses the bulldog clips to attach the strap to the table.

Logan’s eyes have slid shut as he’s laid open, there’s a level of trust here - this is not just any client - this is a man who has taken the time to show Logan some respect and care; allowing Logan to relax under his attention, to slide easily into a more receptive head space.

“I feel dirty...in a sexy way,” he mumbles, tilting his hips up in invite. “You make me feel dirty,”

“Gonna clean you all up,” Jai growls, he doesn’t usually spend so much time rimming a sub, but then he doesn’t usually see a sub more than once or twice. He kneels behind Wade and sucks a drop of precome from the very end his cock before licking over the leather, his tongue finding every exposed sliver of skin. After long minutes he finally gets to Wade’s hole, kissing it gently before swiping a wide tongue over the puckered skin.

Logan’s trembling, Jai has taken time to arouse him and his whole body is alight - hypersensitive to each touch. “Hmmm, so good, thank you Sir...thank you Sir,” His fingers press into the bench, inching forward until he has a good grip.

The boy’s shivers are music to Jai, it’s like when he play’s guitar and the vibrations of the strings hit his fingers. Once he has sucked several satisfyingly red marks into Wade’s taint he pushes his pointed tongue into the tight press of the boy’s ring.

“Oh!” It’s not a surprise, per se, but Logan is still caught off guard - his dick fills out and he tries to process the feeling of the leather tightening up as it encases his erection. “More please....please make this slutty boy clean, please Sir,” the words tumble out of his mouth, as sweat beads over his upper lip.

Jai spends an inordinate amount of time licking and sucking and biting (again) in and around the hole, its quivered respones and Wade’s words wash over him and he is lost in the act until his knees begin to ache. He finally stands and runs his tongue up Wade’s spine, drinking the droplets of sweat as he goes. “How do you like your cock all tied up like that?”

By the time the Sir moves his mouth from Logan’s ass, Logan is incapable of coherent speech - so when he’s asked a question he merely makes some odd noise, not a word as such, just an acknowledgment that he’s heard.

“Looks fucking gorgeous,” Jai growls, his lips at Wade’s ear and his fingers pressing into Wade’s slick hole, “Gonna wet it next time, wait til you feel how tight it gets when it dries boy, gonna feel like it’s cutting you to shreds.”

Hoping the noises he makes sound like he’s agreeing, Logan manages a half nod, his drool spilled onto the leather. _Yeah, yes please.._ His ass opens up easily and he sucks in Sir’s fingers as if demanding more.

Jai leans in close and whispers, “I’m going to whip you now boy, make that greedy ass of yours all red …” He steps back immediately, leaving the boy empty and untouched, and selects a cat from the drawer, one with knots at the end of the tails. “Are you ready? Tell me, say it out loud.”

Lifting his head a little, Logan licks his bottom lip and pulls enough of his brain together to slur out “Readysir...”

He starts by dragging the tails gently over Wade’s ass, being sure that the knots caress his balls and hole before laying a series of light lashes from those delicious mounds up to his shoulders and back again.

Layer after layer of sensation - the leather on his dick, the rimming to arouse him, and now this, the promise of some sweet pain - Logan’s already floating - his body receptive to whatever Jai wants to do to it.

With no adverse response from the boy Jai lets loose, lashing up and down his back, carefully controlled but heavier each time until Wade’s shoulders and ass are glowing. Wade’s exposed hole catches a tail or two every now and then and his twitches are what is causing the wet spot on the front of Jai’s shorts. Jai’s mouth waters again when he catches sight of the drool of precome from the boy’s cock, he drops the cat and puts his mouth to the tip, suckling oh so gently.

Logan’s fingers splay, and he almost pushes up in shock, but moments later he’s slumping again. Shivering with an endorphin high and acute arousal. “Please...please Sir...please...”

Jai once more attacks the boy's ass hole, laving wide strokes over it with his tongue, lapping the concentrated musk and sweat all the while growling with pleasure.

Logan’s dick jerks, spilling out a lazy spurt of precum - he’s on edge - close and desperate. “Please Sir, please let me cum, please Sir....please...”

“Not yet boy,” Jai again rises up to the boy’s ear and whispers, “I do want you to come, but not yet.” He pumps some lube into his hand and roughly shoves two fingers back into Wade’s hole, thrusting several times before sliding a third thick finger in as well. Before long Jai is standing behind wade with four fingers in him, stretching that delicious hole wide open.

Logan is nearly delirious with need, his dick’s leaking against the leather, his hole just gives in the face of Jai’s demanding fingers, opening with ease - a clear display of how turned on he is, how far down. And all the while he’s whimpering, his fingers scrabbling against the frame, seeking purchase.

“You can come … when I do.” Jai pushes off his shorts and reaches for another condom, taking his time and being sure to brush over the glowing skin of Wade’s ass and the leaking end of his cock as he does so. He finally slides home and starts pumping at a steady albeit slow pace.

Logan is so out of it he barely registers the words, the sensation of being filled, of being fucked overwhelms him, the slow pace driving him insane. Tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the leather beneath him.

He has been watching the boy intently, each sensation is obvious as it flickers across his beautiful face. When Jai sees that single tear his orgasm is imminent. He grunts, “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” His thrusts become erratic, harder and deeper now control is barely there, the bench is squeaking across the floor with the force of Jai’s movements, stopping only when he stills to fill the boy’s ass.

Logan is crying in earnest when Jai stills, his body shaking with shivery little jerks. He’s cum, as evidenced by the semen dribbling down the edge of the bench, but it was lost in the intensity of the fuck - of the way he was used.

Jai pulls out carefully and discards the condom, he hears it hit the floor but isn’t interested where, he then more carefully unwraps the leather from around Wade. He crouches near Wade, brushing the tears away and his hair back off his clammy forehead, “Hush now, lets get you over to the bed gorgeous.” Jai would carry him but the boy’s back looks awfully tender and he doesn’t want to touch it yet.

A slow blink and Logan manages a half nod. He pushes up and lets Jai help him upright, but his legs give and he falls back against the bench.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” despite his reservations Jai picks Wade up and quickly carries him to the bed, laying him on his stomach and brushing his hair back again, “I’ll be right back,” he tells the boy, thinking of what he will need for his aftercare.

“No, don’t go,” The words are slurred, the need is apparent, and Logan reaches out his hand shaking as he touches Jai’s arm. “Don’t go,”

Jai frowns, glancing at Wade’s back but the boy’s need wins out, “Okay.” He pushes the edge of the pillow out of the way and sits at the head of the bed, holding Wade’s hand and tenderly caressing his face, “So beautiful.”

“Hold me,” Logan’s are closed, and he nuzzles into Jai’s hand. He’s never felt this needy after a scene. “Please Sir...just a while, please...”

“Sshh, I’m here, not going anywhere,” Jai doesn’t even question why he moves so carefully and so quickly when the boy asks. He somehow slides down and pulls Wade half over him, making sure he is extra gentle when he touches the boy’s back.

“All night...you promised me all night,” Logan smears a messy kiss against Sir’s skin, he tastes of sweat, a light salty tang on his lips.

“All night,” Jai promises, “gonna look after you boy.” He’s tired too and figures that if they have all night then a little snooze won’t hurt.

_Call me Logan..._ It’s the last thing Logan thinks as he slides off into sleep - worn out and spaced out.

~*~

Logan jerks awake, his head coming up from warm skin, his breathing erratic, he blinks in the near darkness, momentarily confused as to where he is, who he’s with.

“Hush boy,” Jai growls, voice thick, and pats Wade’s head sleepily.

Logan resettles, snuggling in closer, tight. His eyes closing again, enjoying the simple pleasure of being held of enjoying skin on skin that’s not sexual.

Now that Jai has been woken and his eyes adjust to the dark he can see the sweet curve of the boy’s ass in the half light and moves his hand down to cover it, the skin is still very warm. “How is your back Wade?”

Logan makes a soft noise, then “Sore...s’not so bad though,” He rubs his cheek against Jai’s shoulder. “You’re lovely to snuggle against,”

“Hmmm,” Jai rumbles, amused, “I was going to put aloe on it for you.” He doesn’t tell Wade just how lovely he finds it too, tugging the boy closer.

“Later,” Logan degrees. “That was an awesome scene,” His mouth curves up in a smile, eyes still closed. “I rarely get any chemistry with my clients, it makes it all so much better though,”

Jai doesn’t speak, he feels his gut lurch, if he was to be honest with the boy he would say the same thing back but in this case being honest with himself is difficult enough. Instead he replies with a gruff, “Yeah? Good for you to get something out of it … It’s not right if you don’t.”

“I enjoy my work, mostly,” Logan opens his eyes now and tilts his head back to look at Jai. “But you treat me differently, least you do now - since dinner...we...” _Have a connection..._ “have chemistry, it’s awesome and it means we both get more, right?” The question is one seeking reassurance - that this isn’t just him feeling it.

_Since before dinner, since the first time_ , Jai isn’t willing to admit it. “Yeah,” he answers flatly, “you’re a good sub, a good boy.”

And isn’t that a slap in the face? Logan pulls back, blinking. _This is why you’re alone - they just see the slut...the ways they can use you for sex...don’t give anymore of yourself away...don’t let him get to you...._

“I need to pee,” He tugs free of Jai’s arms, and slowly climbs off the bed, making his way to the bathroom, head bowed.

So does Jai but he lets the boy go alone and drapes his arm over his eyes. Jai could feel the tension in Wade as he moved away and wishes it could be different. He wants the boy so much it hurts, he is so beautiful and perfect and when he cried Jai couldn’t control his desire, he can’t remember the last time a sub gave him so much pleasure. But, and there is always a ‘but’, he cannot give in … and he knows why.

Logan takes the time in the bathroom to piss and wash up - he also uses it to put his head back on straight, so when he reappears he’s back to being ‘Wade’.

“How may I be of service now Sir? Would you like me to prepare you a drink? Or should I order up some food for you? Or maybe you would like to use me again?” He smiles sweetly and drops to his knees beside the bed.

Jai sighs, he knows what the boy is doing and he is glad he doesn’t have to do it alone. “I don’t need anything just now, thank you. I’m going back to sleep, you can stay if you want.” He is reluctant to let the boy go but he won’t keep him if he wants to go.

_You can stay if you want..._ Logan dips his head for a moment, unable to school his features sufficiently, hurt by the casual brush off. “If you no longer have a need for me, I shall take my leave,” He keeps his tone even and pushes back up onto his feet. He moves around the room, collecting his clothes which he swiftly pulls on, only wincing as he tugs his tee in place.

Jai watches every movement in the darkness of the room, even the hitch as Wade struggles with his shirt, and as he starts toward the door Jai calls, “Boy,” and waits for him to look before adding, “I’ll pay for the night, get someone to take care of your back before you leave okay?”

There’s so much more going on here than Logan can process - it’s evidenced by the tears in his eyes as he pulls open the door and leaves - with not a word of acknowledgment to the other man’s offer. He clearly needs to talk this over with someone - because he never wants to feel so used again - ever.

Despite what he said Jai does not sleep, he gets out of the place as soon as he can. Stopping briefly at the desk to settle his account. The road is almost empty as Jai drives home, any other night like this he would open it up and drive fast but he is distracted, his mind full of a beautiful boy.

Jai has loved before, not successfully, and he’s not sure that is what he’s feeling … he is definitely _falling_ for this boy, drawn in by his perfection, however Wade is _paid_ to do what he does so Jai can’t be sure that the reactions are real. Of course the boy comes, he makes all the right sounds and his skin reacts to punishment like it was made for it but most of that can be trained, there’s a predeliction of course but Jai has known a lot of people that will do almost anything for money.

How can he invest any of himself in something that might not be real? How can he risk it with so much to lose?

 

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.

 


	5. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) Denied

Players only, backdated to the end of June 2014

 

Logan had taken himself down stairs after he’d left the suite - and asked to see one of the trained staff counsellors - there’s always someone on hand to talk to if you need to work your way out of a scene. And Logan needed it - he’d sat and cried out his distress, aware that a large part of it was the drop from what had been an intense scene, and then there was that casual dismissal. Talking it over had helped him get some perspective - and he’d agreed with Ben - the staffer - that it was probably best he put that particular client on his blocked list - at least for now, to give himself some time and space to work out why he’d reacted like he had.

So he’d gone home, showered, pulled on his pj’s, curled up on the sofa with his duvet and allowed Dwight, his cat, to use him as a kneading post.

It’s taken a few days to get his mojo back - he’s had stern words with himself to take the experience as a lesson and to use it - something Logan had learned to do a long time ago. Live, learn, adapt. Move on.

A week later and he finds himself with a new client, who has some very specific dressing instructions, ones that have Logan rolling his eyes and laughing. So here he is - in the bar, in his black combat boots, fishnet stockings, a short black leather skirt and a skimpy tee - his hair bed mussed and his eyes smeared in kohl, perched on a bar stool, one leg swinging, a glass of cherry coke in his hand.

Jai avoided Citadel for days mostly by keeping himself too busy with work to do anything but sleep when he wasn’t there. David put his foot down on Friday afternoon and told him in no uncertain terms that they were not working over the weekend and Jai had ‘better do something to get his head out of his ass’ or David would not be back on Monday.

That was threat enough for Jai, he isn’t a fool and knows that without David he wouldn’t have a business (to the point that he is not far off offering him a partnership). So he finds himself entering the bar still trying to decide if he will seek out Wade or try to find someone else.

Logan’s leaning on the bar, chattering away to the bar staff when they’re free, smiling, relaxed and utterly unaware that Jai has just walked in behind him. His foot still swinging, and his coke half full he’s an odd mix of adolescent, slut and man.

From the age of fifteen Jai understood what bisexual meant and was certain that he fit the description, it wasn’t until he was around twenty that he realised the term no longer suited him. Jai felt that ‘bi’ limited what he had discovered. He found himself attracted to the full gamut of human sexuality, from the tough, short-haired dykes through to the pretty boys with their glittery lipstick and everything in between. He had nights with lady-boys and transvestites, beauty queens and bears and loved it all.

The revelation of his pansexuality led him to ‘the lifestyle’ and his desires kept him there. Over the years Jai’s tastes have refined but the one thing he has never lost is his base response to anything that twists gender. Right here in front of him is the gender twist that doesn’t stop with his libido, this one is fucking with his head.

Jai doesn’t even consider not approaching Wade, it’s as if someone tapped into his deepest desires and laid it out for this boy to torment him with. Several long strides and Jai is standing within arms reach.

He nods to the boy, “Good evening Wade.”

Logan looks up, and his smile turns from genuine to forced in a heart beat. _You!...You..bastard..._ this thoughts belie the pull in his belly though - the physical response.

He inclines his head, his lashes fluttering down to shield his gaze, “Mr Courtney,” he acknowledges the other man but he doesn’t add the usual ‘it’s good to see you’, because this time it’s not.

“You look …” _fucking amazing_ , “good tonight, it suits you.” There’s something not quite right with the boy but Jai is in no position to ask. “Are you available?” he asks quietly, his manner subdued.

Logan recalls the moment Jai hissed in his ear that he didn’t need make up and it made him look like a whore - so this ...is even more off. Still he has an out tonight, so it’s really not his problem. Back straightening a little he shakes his head. “No, I’ve been booked out all shift, I’m waiting for my client now,” _So leave me alone._

The breath leaves Jai like he’s been hit in the gut, outwardly the only sign is his shoulders dropping slightly. Again the boy has reminded him that no matter what effect he has on Jai any time that they spend together is a business transaction. Jai nods, “Of course,” and steps away.

After ordering a drink from the barman Jai finds himself a couch across the room and sits where he can at least see Wade.

_Fuck._ He watches Jai leave and turns himself on his stool to face the bar, his elbows propped there as he rubs his forehead with one hand. He thought he’d sorted out his feelings toward the other man in the wake of how he’s been treated, however faced with the reality of the man, his gorgeous eyes, the dishevelled I’ve-been-working-too-hard vibe has him conflicted. “He’s a client Lo....a client who treated you like shit....do not fucking go there,” he murmurs to himself.

He watches every movement Wade makes, the flex of his long legs, the crease at his waist when he turns and the slump of his shoulders and wonders what that means. To Jai the boy looks sad and he wants more than anything to comfort him, to carry him to a bed and spend hours just building his need. “Not tonight,” Jai reminds himself, “he’s already paid for …”

Logan’s client rolls into the bar before he can get himself into more of a state. Unlike his usual fare - middle aged, but often still hot, business men in suits, tonights ‘date’ is a pro footballer - all 6’4’ of him, and he’s almost as wide in the shoulder. He makes Logan feel positively tiny - he turns on his smile, and he turns on his charm and he does his very best to forget Mr Jai Courtney.

A deep frown furrows Jai’s brow at the sight of the man that Wade is smiling at, partly because the guy is big enough to really hurt the boy and Jai knows just how much he likes pain. But mostly it’s because that smile is the same one that he has seen directed at himself.

Jai’s arousal increased with every moment watching the boy and seeing such a big man next to him makes the boy seem smaller still … now Jai is rock hard and scanning the room for a house slave.

Logan, links his arm through ‘Tom’s’ and allows himself to be led out of the bar and up their room - and for now at least - he really has forgotten Jai.

It is only a few minutes before Jai has a slave, a girl because none of the boys could replace the one he wanted, she is on her knees in the bar, her only task is to relieve Jai so he can drive with a clear head.

END

Comments welcome and screened.


	6. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) Art Exhibition

Players only, backdated to mid July 2014.

David’s most recent lover has a friend who has a friend who is just about to open a show at a little gallery not far from their office and Jai has been hearing about it for three weeks already, if it were anyone but David he would have punched their lights out by now. But, since it is David, Jai will attend the opening and he will (try) to find a piece that he can hang in either the office or his house and David _will_ be very grateful.

It isn’t as much of a hardship as Jai makes out, he was supported by some influential people when he was starting out and sees it as karma to return the favours by supporting new talent when he deems it worthy. Hence the need to attend openings.

Jai has taken the time to freshen up and change into a clean and pressed shirt because it’s quite warm, open at the neck because these things are casual in LA and driven his car because he might need a quick getaway. He doesn’t bother to wait for David as his secretary will be fashionably late and he has the invitation with him anyway.

Ginny had been given two tickets to the opening as a prize - a competition her modern art teacher entered her in - and there was no one else she wanted to take with her more than Lo. He’s been a little down in the last couple of weeks and she can’t get it out of him as to why. So, arm in arm, she guides her best friend through the doors of the gallery.

Logan will admit he’s been looking forward to this - he might consider himself uneducated but he loves art, he loves books and he loves losing himself in the visual feast of new art. He’s pulled on clean dark jeans and a white button down, tidied up his hair so he looks as respectable and straight as he can.

“Ooh, champagne!” he coos in Ginny’s ear - his tone teasing. “How lovely!”

Jai spins around, right behind him is a too familiar voice, and sure enough the body attached to it is also too familiar. His chest tightens but instead of speaking to Wade he moves quickly and quietly away to the other side of the room, Jai intends to watch the boy from afar until he gets his bearings.

Glass in one hand, Logan takes Ginny’s in the other as they slowly make their way around the room, his dark head leaning into her strawberry blond one as she explains the techniques used and her interpretation of the work. To all intents and purposes they look like a young couple.

It is another blow to Jai’s already diminished hopes, the last thoughts he had of his feelings being returned are completely dashed at the sight of them so close, talking intimately and holding each other like they are very used to doing so. He knocks back the rest of his glass and takes another from a passing waiter and thinks it’s a good thing he accounted for a quick escape.

Unfortunately for Jai David has dreadful timing and obviously a few under his belt. He sashays in with a pretty blond boy on his arm and spies Jai immediately, “Jai!” David calls loudly, waving across the room, “Jai, you simply must meet Reece. Reece honey, this is my boss Jai.”

It’s an unusual enough name that when Logan hears it called loudly in such an overtly camp manner his head comes up and he scans the room, frowning. And there he is - right across from them - and he’s staring back. Logan freezes, the tension enough that Ginny’s attention is suddenly on him. “Lo? What’s up?”

Jai looks away from Wade as soon as the boy sees him looking and turns a glower on David that would melt a sober man. “Hello Reece,” he starts politely, his voice controlled and even yet hiding none of his displeasure, “can I suggest that you take David out to the cafe on the corner, to your left, he will need a coffee or two before he can enjoy the work that has been put into these paintings.” Jai is relieved that Reece isn’t as dumb as he looks and steers his lover back to the doorway. “Fuck,” Jai hisses under his breath, he now has to attend to the friend of the artist that got the invitations for them and there’s no longer any chance of leaving without being seen by the boy.

Logan licks over his lip and drags his gaze from where Jai is talking to two other men. “He’s someone I know, from work,” He explains, he smiles at Ginny and pats her hand. “Just threw me that’s all. I don’t expect to see them out in the real world,” he up nods at the picture they’d been looking at. “C’mon, tell me again how you get that effect,”

It turns out that the friend of David’s is actually the person handling the sales for the night and it takes an inordinately long time for Jai to get near him, in the mean time he is trying to decide which one he will buy and he is going to buy because he likes the style and thinks it will work well in the office.

Logan is acutely aware of where Jai is for the next hour, they circle the room as if deliberately avoiding each other - Ginny is clearly aware of his distraction, but she gamely ignores it and he tries his best to give her his attention.

“I need to pee,” he whispers handing her his third glass of bubbly. “Be right back,” And with that Logan heads off to the bathroom at the back of the gallery.

Curiosity gets the better of Jai, he has watched the girl do most of the talking when it looks like they are discussing the art so when she is alone Jai approaches and asks, “Which one would you buy? I’m looking for my office but I can’t decide.”

Ginny looks up - and is rather taken aback to find the man Logan had spied earlier stood next to her - and talking to her. She blinks and turns her gaze back on the paintings. “Oh! An office? Then - either this, or this one,” she points two out - “They’re the least loud,” she smiles her face lighting up, “The others deserve somewhere people can pause to take their time to absorb them,”

Jai looks at her curiously, she is smart, “You’re right, I hadn’t thought of it like that.” His eyes flick between the two, judging which colours would look best then turns slightly to the left, “I thought about that one too, I really like it … I might have to have that for my house as well.”

“Yeah, Lo really liked that one too,” She snaps her mouth shut moments later, and tugs her hair behind her ear. “My friend,” she explains, blushing.

_Lo_ , that isn’t Wade … “Not your _boy_ friend?” Jai asks innocently.

Now she frowns turning on Jai, she studies him for a moment. “You know he’s not my boyfriend, he told me he knows you,” There’s an accusation there. _You’re playing me Mister, and I don’t like it._

“I know him when he’s working,” he replies gently, sensing her defensiveness and not wanting to provoke it, “but that doesn’t mean you aren’t his partner.” This girl must know what he does if she’s ready to go to battle for ‘Lo’.

“I’m his best friend,” Ginny turns back to the painting. “So, which one for the office?”

Logan heads his way out of the washroom, shaking off his hands, and he stalls when he sees Jai stood beside Ginny. “Fuck,” he whispers. A deep breath and he closes the distance, moving in beside Ginny. “Hey,”

“Hi,” Jai deliberately doesn’t use the boy’s name when he acknowledges him, “your best friend here was helping me decide which piece I should get for my office. Which one do you like?”

“I know nothing about art, you should take her advice,” Logan takes his glass back and slides his arm around Ginny’s waist, needing the reassurance she can give him.

“Okay,” Jai actually doesn’t have a preference for either and had they been more alike in tone he might have had the pair, “I will. What do you advise?”

“That one,” Ginny, can feel the way Lo is holding himself, and she has to wonder what the fuck is going on here. She points to the one with the softer grey tones to it. “It’s least statement of all these,” She turns her gaze on the taller man. He’s rather sexy if a little serious.

“Hmm, no,” Jai shakes his head, thumb on his chin, “I like to make statements so I think I’ll go for the darker one. And I find the hard lines to be more architecturally interesting.” He raises a hand when the gallery assistant catches his eye, “Thank you for your help.” He nods to them both, eyes lingering on the boy for a moment too long, before leaving to speak to the man about a painting.

“Wow!” Ginny turns her gaze on Logan. “What an ass!” she shakes her head. “First off he’s trying to find out if you and I are a couple and then he asks my opinion and promptly discards it,” But what she sees in her friends face has her tailing off. “Lo?”

Logan snaps his gaze back to her and frowns. “He did what?”

“He wants to know if we are a couple,”

“Huh,” Blowing out a breath Logan gives her waist a squeeze. “Ignore him - c’mon there’s canapes round the back,”

It takes the best part of thirty minutes for the purchase of two paintings to be settled and then, for reasons that he refuses to consider, Jai is still wandering around the gallery and watching Wade. David and Reece have both returned and left and there is nothing to keep Jai there any longer. He once again thanks the host for the invitation before heading out the door to his car, one last, lingering look at the boy.

He’s made sure he knows where Jai is for the rest of the evening - resisting the irrational urge to go speak to the man. But then he looks up, his neck prickling, to find Jai looking at him from the door. His breath hitches as he watches him leave - and on an impulse he presses a quick kiss to Ginny’s cheek.

“Be right back baby,” he murmurs and he’s off worming his way through the crowd to the door, he pulls it open and runs out, scanning the street.

He’s a few steps away from his car when he hears footsteps, Jai has never been mugged but he always expects it so tightenes his hands into fists at his side before turning quickly around. “Wade?”

Converse skid to a stop on the sidewalk and Logan finds himself momentarily lost for words. He sighs and then frowns. “Why did you come and speak to Ginny, you saw she was with me....”

That isn’t a question Jai wants to answer but he is generally an honest person used to living with his own choices. “I thought you might be together and I wanted to know.”

“Huh?” Logan’s frown only deepens. “Why?”

“Hmm, now that’s the hard question,” Jai runs a hand back through his hair and falls back to rest his ass on his car, uncharacteristically nervous. “I could tell you a half truth and say that it’s because I hope that you are happily with someone, you deserve that.”

“She’s a girl, I’m gay, I thought that was pretty fucking obvious given how we met,” Logan stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets. “So what’s the actual truth?”

“It isn’t always obvious,” Jai’s hand moves to the back of his neck and he glances off down the street before continuing, “The real truth is that if you were …” and this is where it gets sticky for Jai, “If you were, then you might not be open to other arrangements.” It is as close as he can get to admitting his feelings without letting his guard down.

Logan’s not stupid, but he has had a couple of glasses of champagne, so it takes him a moment to parse out Jai’s meaning. “Me? But...” he shakes his head and backs up a step.

Jai pushes off the car and stands close to Wade, tipping his face up with the gentlest of touches, “She called you Lo,” his thumb dragging across the boy’s chin,

Logan swallows, his skin lighting up at that touch, just like it did the last time they were together.

“‘S a nick name,” Logan side steps the query with a near truth. “You can’t want me like that,”

He bends and oh so tenderly kisses Lo’s lips, Wade never seemed to fit the boy, then presses the kiss just a little more before resting his forehead on Lo’s, “I can’t not.”

“You made me feel like a cheap whore,” The words spill out, and Logan tries to back up, even as his lips tingle with the kiss. “That last time...we scened and I slept in your arms and then...you made me feel like a whore,”

Jai sinks his hand into Lo’s thick hair and keeps his eyes intently on the boy, “I didn’t mean to but I couldn’t forget that I was paying for you… and I _really_ wanted to forget I was paying.” He drops his hand and steps back again, “I’m sorry, this doesn’t happen to me.”

“But you did...and you _have_ paid for me,” Logan backs up a little more. “And I’m not allowed to see people - clients, out of work,” His hands are shaking and he’s unsure how to handle this.

There it is again, the reason that Jai can’t let himself have feelings for this boy. He steels himself and steps back further, behind his car, “Yeah.” Lo has just laid it all out and now it’s time to let it go, “Goodbye Lo.”

“It’s Logan...my real name. It’s Logan,” Logan follows Jai, closing that distance again. “Wade is for work...but it’s Logan,” His voice a little plaintive as he offers his name as it it were a gift.

_Logan_ , he looks so young and Jai’s heart is aching, a less ethical person might take advantage of what this boy is offering and there’s a part of Jai that wants to. He puts a hand to Logan’s chest to stop him getting closer, “I want what you’re offering me, I really do, but it won’t work for us. I’m sorry, please go back to your friend.”

“No, of course not,” Logan’s retreating again, his face hardening as his anger rises. “What would an educated, wealthy, attractive man want with a stupid dumb whore?” he turns on his heel, and starts to walk away.

Again Jai is torn, he can argue with Logan, try to tell him that what he thinks, what he is saying isnt the truth or he can just let the boy go and not have to worry about how it could ever possibly happen between them.

Pride and bravery win out as they always will with Jai, “Logan! Wait!” He walks after the boy, catching him by the arm within a few strides, he whips Lo around and holds him firmly by the shoulders. “You are not a stupid, dumb whore,” he growls as he closes the inches between their mouths.

Logan finds himself leaning in, his mouth opening, wanting this, not caring what the fuck kind of trouble he’s getting into - because just for once Logan wants to be wanted.

When he doesn’t pull away Jai takes it as consent and embraces him fully, hand in hair and around Logan’s narrow waist, all but lifting him off the ground. Jai part’s the boy’s lips with an insistent tongue and pours all of his want into it.

Logan wraps his legs around Jai’s waist, winding his arms around his neck and holding on for all he’s worth - all his misgivings, all his trust issues, all pushed aside in this moment.

He lifts Logan, easily shifting his hands to secure the boy as he pulls back from the kiss, “Logan,” Jai breathes the name into the boy’s neck, drinking in his scent, “I want you.”

Logan sighs, his eyes closed, the rub of Jai’s nose at that patch just under his ear making it tough to think. “I can’t just...it’s complicated, I might lose my job....”

Jai groans, that is exactly why he tried to stop this. He gently lowers Logan to the ground and holds him at arms length, stroking his face, “So what are we going to do?”

“We need to talk,” Logan blows out a long breath. “And not here, not now, I’ve been drinking,” he shuffles from one foot to the other. “Because I don’t really know what you want from me, and until I do, I don’t know how to handle it - what I need to do,”

“I knew you weren’t stupid,” Jai kisses Logan again then takes a deep breath, “you’re right, now isn’t the best time. Would you come to my house for dinner? When you don’t have to work of course,” and he already hates saying that, “I will pick you up … then we can talk.”

“You have a card on you? With your number?” He assumes Jai will, most business men of his acquaintance do. “I’ll call you, and just give me your address, I’ll make my own way there, thank you,” he tries to reassert himself a little. “Is the day after tomorrow okay?”

“I live in Malibu,” Jai explains, hoping that Logan sees the sense in coming with him, “and I’m here every day at the office.” He pulls out his wallet and hands a card over to Logan, “There, the office address and phone is on that.”

Logan takes the card and looks at it, then he nods, glancing up. “Okay....but...I can’t have sex with you - not until I know what’s this is - and what the implications are for work - because if they knew I was seeing you off club, without telling them first, I will lose my job,” Logan has to impress this on Jai.

“Just dinner and talking,” Jai nods, “you know I’m as good as my word.” His hand is still cradling Logan’s lovely face so he leans in for another kiss, “But now I am going, do you need a ride home?”

“No, no thank you, Ginny’s still waiting for me, we’ll get back together,” Logan looks over his shoulder back toward the gallery. He holds up the card. “I’ll call you...but...this is complicated Jai - don’t think it isn’t,”

“Oh yeah,” Jai smiles wryly, “I’m sure it is. Good night Logan,” he loves the feel of that name in his mouth, just like its owner, “see you soon.”

“Night,” Logan backs up a few steps before turning on his heel and jogging back to the gallery and Ginny. His head spinning with all that just happened, and what the consequences might be. He’s just risked everything - all because this man’s touch lights him up...

END

 

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	7. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) - Home Cooked Meal

Players only, backdated to the third week of July, 2014.

 

Jai is up to his elbows in rolled blueprints and final drafts of what is his biggest project so far in LA. He hasn’t forgotten that Logan is coming to his office this afternoon but the time has slipped away from him. David is aware that Jai is expecting someone and while he got away with teasing his boss earlier the way Jai growled last time David tried it sent the man out of the room with no intention of going back.

Logan took a cab to Jai’s office, and as he climbs out he looks up at the building. He whistles softly. “Very nice,” he murmurs, heading for the door and onward to the reception where he finds a man he recognises from the gallery the other night.

“Um...hi...” he starts, eyes darting around the plush room. “Jai’s expecting me,”

“Darling,” David drawls, eyeing the delicious boy from top to bottom, “of course he is. Take a seat and I’ll let him know you’re here.” There is a smirk a mile wide on David’s face when he opens the door to the drafting room and leans his hip on the frame.

“Hi boss,” he waggles his eyebrows and all but giggles, “your _date_ is here and he is a tasty young thing.”

Jai’s head pops up and he glances at his watch, “Fuck,” he hisses, “right on time and I’m not ready.” He runs a hand back over his face and hair and adds, “Show him in please. And try not to be an ass.”

David huffs as he turns. “Come with me sweetness, he’s in here.”

Logan follows where the very camp man indicates, he steps through the door into a large bright room, where Jai is stood over a table of paperwork looking distinctly harassed. “Thank you,” he murmurs, his forehead creasing in a frown. “Did I come at a bad time?” he asks, even though he’s aware he’s here at the time they agreed.

“At the moment it’s all a bad time,” Jai sighs, “just give me five, I have a few notes to make before I forget them then we can go.” He scibbles on the top page then shuffles the large sheets and makes notes on another one, pencil skating across the page making perfect block letters.

“Okay,” Logan takes himself over to a seat and perches on the edge, his bag nestled in his lap. He sits quietly, eyes on Jai as he works, unobtrusive and out of the way.

It doesn’t actually take five minutes for Jai to finish, he ends up jotting his notes onto a pad to work on tomorrow instead of keeping Logan waiting. He finally drops the pencil and turns to his guest. “I’m sorry about that, sometimes I have to get things down before they leave my head. I’ll just grab my coat and we can go.”

He starts toward the door, planning to step quickly into his office but changes his mind before he gets two steps. Jai turns back and moves to stand in front of Logan, bending to kiss him tenderly, “Hi, I should have done that before.”

“Hi,” Logan returns softly, “S’okay, I can see you’re preoccupied,” he blinks and pulls his bag a little closer.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Jai holds his hand out for Logan then leads the boy through an adjoining door, without letting go he tosses a suit coat over his shoulder and picks up a briefcase.

Logan takes the proffered hand, though he’s a little uncomfortable in the casual displays of affection Jai seems to feel he wants to make - the kissing, this... Logan feels like he’s in limbo, caught between being Jai’s paid for bed mate and...something else.

As they pass a smirking David at his desk Jai tells him, “If you don’t hear from the guy in San Fran within the next ten minutes I want you to call him okay?” David waves like he already knows but Jai continues, “And I want you to call me, I’ll be waiting.”

He leads Logan out of the office and back down the stairs, still holding his hand lightly, it feels so comfortable to Jai that he barely notices. “Car’s out here.”

“Who’s that man?” Logan tilts his head to look up at Jai as they head down to the car. He’s quiet because he’s in such unfamiliar surroundings and he’s trying to take it all in.

“David?” Jai reluctantly lets go of Logan’s hand when they reach the car, “he’s my secretary cum PA. I couldn’t do without him,” he walks to the other side and tosses his gear into the back seat and settles behind the wheel “he’s not always an asshole.”

“He’s very gay,” Logan climbs in beside Jai and pulls on his seatbelt. “I mean camp...you know what I mean,” it’s not something Logan would ever be able to accuse Jai of - from what he’s seen of the man. “I’d have thought your industry was still a little staid on such things, even in this town,”

“Things are changing, and he’s a failed actor so being gay shouldn’t be a surprise there,” Jai replies, amused, “in any case, I wanted the best person for the job and sexual preference made no difference.” He starts the car and silently pulls away from his parking space.

Logan frowns and looks around him. “I can’t hear the engine!” he exclaims, leaning forward as if looking at the bonnet will answer that conundrum all on it’s own.

Jai laughs, “Yeah, it takes some getting used to.” He pulls out into traffic and the engine kicks in briefly, “It’s a hybrid, doing my bit for the environment. Don’t worry, you’ll hear it when we get out on the highway.” He drives steadily for a few minutes when curiosity gets the better of him, “The other night, at the gallery, you seemed surprised that I thought you might be with Ginny?”

“I’m gay, I thought that was clear, that’s all,” Logan shrugs and turns to watch the scenery go by for a moment. “I’ve never been with a girl, I kissed one once, but that’s all.” He looks back at Jai. “What about you?”

“For me it’s more about the person,” Jai drops a hand to Logan’s thigh and squeezes gently, “what sex they are doesn’t matter so much.”

“Oh!” He’d have put money on Jai being gay, not one of those guys who has a different taste depending on the day. “Jai?” Logan takes a breath here, “Can I please ask something?”

“Of course,” Jai glances over at his passenger, “tonight is all about talking right?”

“I’m feeling really uncomfortable with the touching and the kissing,” Logan starts. “This is me, Logan, and I need you to try and think about me as someone you just met, rather than seeing me as ‘Wade’. Wade is work, and I’m so far out of my depth here I need you to respect those boundaries for now, at least until I know where I stand okay?”

“Oh,” to Jai it’s just a different name, he saw beyond the whore the first time they were together, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he looks at Logan for longer while they are stopped at a set of lights, “I don’t see Wade, only you, but I will stop until you tell me you’re okay with it.”

“Thank you,” Logan inclines his head and tries to find the words to explain it to Jai. “Wade is work, and Mr Courtney was, is, Wade’s client. I’ve assumed you want to know me, Logan, and to do that, I have to not see you as a client, and I think that’s something you want too, right? So...it has to be different,”

“It is indeed what I want,” Jai resists the urge to reach for him again, instead asks a question of his own, smiling, “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah of course,” Logan turns a little in his seat, twisting to give Jai his full attention, he tucks one foot up under his other leg.

“You scare the shit out of me,” it’s more honest than Jai has been with himself up to this point.

Logan’s brows pop up and he pulls back a little. “What? Me?”

“Yep, more than anyone else I have ever been with.” This what happens with Jai, he takes a while to warm up to people which is why he has a reputation for being tough and closed off, but if he decides to give you his time then you can be sure you will get the real man. It’s the same with his work and probably why he is so successful; he is driven and focussed. “The way you affect me is intense and as a sub you are as close to perfect as I have found.”

“Jai...as a paid for sub I do as I’m told, it’s my job to please...don’t get confused, this is what I’m talking about. You had sex, you scened with Wade. Not me.” He reaches out to rest his hand on Jai’s arm. “I know it sounds like I’m rebuffing you, but I’m really not, you have no idea how difficult it is for me to put myself here, like this, with you. I want to get to know you, and I want you to get to know me, and then we can decide what the hell we’re doing,”

By the time Logan is finished Jai is smiling mildly, he has hit on pretty much everything that held Jai back from the beginning. “Yes,” is all he says before he answers a call from David.

~*~

At the click of a switch the garage door rises and Jai drives into the dim interior, “Wait here til I get the light, don’t want you tripping,” Jai instructs Logan as he reaches for his briefcase and opens the car door. With the light on Jai is sure that Logan is safe and opens the internal door to the foyer and its stairs, vowing again to do something about the light. “Welcome,” he sweeps his hand ahead of Logan.

What he’d seen as they pulled up had Logan re-evalutating Jai’s net worth by whole heap. He climbs out of the car, follows Jai to the door and steps inside the house.

“Holy fuck!” He moves quickly across the room to the huge windows beyond which lays the beach and the sea. “Oh my fucking god, this is amazing!”

“Wait til we get upstairs,” Jai smiles, he loves what he has here and is extremely proud of his work, “come on, I can’t wait to show you the rest.”

Logan lets himself be led up stairs, and given a tour of the house, he learns that Jai designed it himself - and that’s really fucking cool in Logan’s eyes - he’s almost overwhelmed by what he’s seeing. They finally end up in the kitchen. “I’ve never been in such an amazing house,” Logan admits, hip resting against the countertop.

Jai is pleased at Logan’s reactions, “Thank you but this is nothing compared to what I was working on today, now that will be amazing.” Jai opens a cupboard and takes out two glasses, from the fridge he produces a bottle of wine, “Have a seat,” he indicates the bar stools on the other side of the island bench then pours them a glass each, “I’m going to impress you with wines from home tonight. This is a McLaren Valley Sauvignon Blanc, it’s a little on the sweet side but will be fresh enough for our starters.”

Pulling a well worn apron from the pantry Jai sets it in place and retrieves tomatoes, onions and parsley from the fridge and a large knife and cutting board from the cupboard under the bench. “So, tell me what you won’t tell your clients at Citadel,” he says conversationally as he starts to chop.

“I have a cat,” Logan’s smile is lopsided and he smiles over his glass. “A grumpy ginger tom called Dwight,”

“I had a dog, Jack, but I had to leave him at home … he’s dead now though,” Jai’s smile is fond but sad. He fetches a small loaf of sourdough and using a bread knife, deftly cuts it into slices and slides them under the grill to toast. “Were you born here? In LA?” he prods Logan as he drizzles some olive oil and a balsamic vinegar of Moderna over the chopped tomatoes.

“No, not LA,” Logan shakes his head, “Cali though,” he adds nothing more than that, and sips his drink. “Do you need a hand?” he nods at the food.

“No, thank you, you’re my guest.” Jai checks on the bread and finds it done, he sets the slices on a plate and quickly stirs the bowl and piles spoonfuls of the mix onto the two-bite-sized toast, “bruchetta?” The last thing he puts on the bench is a pile of paper napkins before picking up and moaning around a mouthful.

Logan grins and picks up a slice himself - he’s starving, and the food tastes wonderful. He works his way through the slice, pausing to mop up with a napkin and sip his wine. He’s starting to relax - a little.

Jai turns on the oven, allowing five minutes for it to heat while he has some more bruchetta and wine, smiling at Logan’s obvious enjoyment. There are a million things that Jai wants to know about Logan but doesn’t really know where to start, he hoped that the boy would talk more, seems he needs prodding, “Did you come looking for fame in Hollywood?”

Logan laughs out loud at that - and it has an oddly brittle edge to it. “Huh, no, not at all,” He wipes his mouth over with the napkin and picks up his glass, a deep drink and then he sets it down, his fingers fussing with the stem. “Well, you want to get to know me, so I guess I need to tell you, and then you’ll see why I’m utterly bemused as to why you think you might be interested in me,” He takes a breath and keeps his eyes on the pale gold liquid in his glass.

“My daddy left when I was little, I have no particular memory of him, my Mom....well, she’ll never win Mom of the Year award for sure - I’ve been looking after myself since I was 16 - which is when I learned the power of using my body to get what I need,” He glances up. “I’ve never stood on a street corner, but I have used it to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly,” Another pause. “I came to LA when I was 19 and started working in clubs, and ended up on the edges of the kink scene, for once luck ran my way, because I was at a private party when I was approached by someone who worked for the club - I was barely legal at that point, but they took me on, on the proviso I stopped working the other places and left that set behind. It was an easy choice, now I’m earning good money, I’m safe and I have my own apartment - it might be a shoebox, but it’s mine,”

“So yes Jai, I am a dumb whore, I never finished school, I use my body to make money and I don’t let people close to me, because usually, they want something and that thing is more often than not my ass,”

Jai disregards his promise momentarily and covers Logan’s hand with his own, “Don’t do that,” his tone is strong, almost harsh, “don’t put yourself down like that for doing what you had to.” He pulls away just as quickly and takes a square dish from the fridge and places it in the oven, topping up their glasses while he is there. “Come with me,” he leads Logan back out of the kitchen to the stairs and up another flight, “I want to show you what you can have if you believe that you’re not dumb.” They go back upstairs to the top floor where Jai opens the double doors and steps out onto the large deck off the master suite.

Logan looks around at the admittedly beautiful view. “And your point is?”

“I’m lucky, I know that,” he walks to the rail and leans on it casually, “my parents instilled in me a good work ethic and self belief but I didn’t get to be one of the up and coming talents in Californian architecture without working my ass off and knowing I could do it. Listening to what you said about how you got here I can tell without a doubt that you aren’t the dumb whore you claim to be,” he hates that word but it’s the one Logan used, “and there is nothing you can’t do if you work at it.”

“Oh I know, that’s why I now work for one of the most exclusive sex clubs in the world,” Logan snarks back. “I worked _really_ hard,” He sighs and turns away. “You live in a different world, I may not be dumb, but I am uneducated, and education is the key to everything, I know that, but where you come from, the opportunities you’ve had, they all open doors, they give you the chances to get on.”

“Do you like being uneducated and working in the most exclusive sex club in the world?” Jai shoots back. Logan has spine and guts and Jai knows that given the right encouragement he could go places.

“Fuck off,” Logan growls over his shoulder. This is all his insecurity laid bare - his upbringing, his lack of schooling, the way he makes his living. So he retreats into being offensive.

“It’s a fair question,” Jai responds, no hint of mockery in his tone, “because if that’s where you’ve always dreamed of being then congratulations.” He pushes off the railing and moves around to face Logan, “Thing is, I don’t think it is.”

“No fucking shit Sherlock,” Logan’s eyes flash with anger. “I’m 23 - you know how many people I’ve had in my bed I could call a lover? One. One person I chose because I wanted them for themselves and they wanted me back the same way - one person who I didn’t use, or didn’t use me....”

Be careful what you wish for, now Jai understands that by wanting to know Logan he’s getting it all. Of course that is what he asked for. “You too huh?”

“You think we’re the same?” Logan huffs out a breath and shakes his head. “We’re not the same,”

“No, we’re not,” Jai concedes, he bends so he can see Logan’s eyes, “but it goes to show that not everyone gets lucky in love.”

“No just fucking lucky in just about every other aspect though,” Logan waves his hand around at the house. “And I wasn’t talking about love - what ever the fuck that is,”

“Not luck, hard fucking yakka.” Jai glances at his watch and sees they have another ten minutes before dinner is ready. “C’mon, dinner is just about done.” He leads the boy toward the door, heart aching for him.

Logan follows Jai inside, although he’d actually like a few minutes on his own to get himself back under control - he’s not about to ask. He’s utterly bemused to find Jai actually thinks they have anything in common - because the more Lo sees of the man; where he works, his home, the more it becomes apparent to him they are chalk and cheese. Yes, working at Citadel is like hitting the jackpot in terms of sex work; he’s safe, cared for, earns good money with a respectable benefits package, but at the end of the day, he’s still selling himself each and every shift.

For Jai’s part they have so much in common; a more or less a parentless upbringing, he came through the boarding school system though they were supportive, his parents showed him a willingness to work hard and an ingrained independence. Logan is intelligent and knows how to read people, all qualities Jai sees in himself and admires in others.

When they get to the kitchen Jai sets some cutlery on the table and pulls the chair out for Logan, he retrieves the simmering dish of lasagne from the oven and cuts it, serving them both generous portions and places it on the table with more glasses of wine. “This is a Hunter Valley cabernet merlot, rich and smooth with a nice dry finish, though Aussie reds tend to be a bit more challenging than their european counterparts, it shouldn’t be too rough.”

Logan eyes the pasta dish, the cheese all bubbly on the top, just how he loves it - instead though he picks up the glass of wine and sips it, his face almost instantly puckering up into a moue of disgust. “Oh no....I don’t like that....” he shakes his head - red wine has never been something he could get behind. “I’m sorry,”

Jai laughs, “No need to apologise, would you like some more of the white?” He rises to get both the bottles and another glass so Logan has the choice. “I love cooking and eating. Do you cook?” he asks as he cuts the edge for what will be a very hot mouthful.

“Not really, I was never taught how to, but Ginny’s shown me the basics, so at least I don’t live on packet food anymore,” He starts in on the lasagne, “My kitchen is tiny, so it’s a trick to do much of anything,”

“That’s better than nothing,” Jai smiles, “How do you like that?” pointing to Logan’s plate.

“Needs more cheese,” Logan smiles, to show he’s teasing, “But then I say that about all pasta - I love melted cheese on pasta...” he picks up the glass with the white wine in. “And I usually drink far too much Cherry Coke,” he takes a sip and sets it down.

“I noticed the cherry coke,” Jai winks, remembering the sweet taste on the boy’s lips and licking his unconsciously. “You mentioned that you had plans, what do you have in mind?”

“Plans?” Logan’s attention is back on his food. “When?”

“Hmm, the night we went to dinner I think,” it’s tough but Jai wills away the memories, “I asked about college and you didn’t really answer, I was wondering if you did have something in mind.”

“Oh that,” Logan shrugs - a very teenage gesture and his shoulders round a little. “Yeah, well, I need to get my High School Diploma first.”

“Yes,” Jai encourages, he has had absolutely no clues on what Logan wants to do beyond that, “and after that?”

“I don’t know,” He glances up at Jai. “Why does it matter to you?”

“It doesn’t, but this is supposed to be about getting to know each other right?” Jai leans back in his chair and sips from his glass, savouring the fruity wine.

“I think I’ve shared plenty don’t you?” Logan pauses, setting his cutlery down. “So, I think it’s your turn - I want you to tell me what you think this is,” He waves a thing between the two of them, “And what it is you think you want,”

Jai sits his glass carefully back to the table, his gaze level and direct, wondering what he said that has put Logan on the defensive … perhaps it’s the boy’s default, in any case Jai has nothing to hide. “Honestly I don’t know exactly what I want. As I said earlier, you effect me in a way that I haven’t ever really experienced before. Whether it’s just how you are for _work_ or not, you are a perfect sub for me.” He shrugs and smiles, “You intrigue and challenge me and I’m curious as to why.” He leans toward Logan, elbow on the table, “You set the terms for tonight, that we get to know each other, that’s all I’m trying to do.”

“But to what end Jai?” Logan’s back to twirling his wine glass around and around on the table top. “Because until I know that? I’m still confused,”

Covering Logan’s fingers lightly with his own Jai answers as best as he can, “I don’t know Logan.”

“If this is because I’m your ‘perfect sub’ well, that’s what the club is for,” He looks down at Jai’s hand over his. “Isn’t it?”

“No,” Jai pulls his hand back just a little so he is no longer touching Logan, “that is part of it,” he waits until Logan is looking at him again before continuing, “but that’s not the part of you that interests me. I know I can get most of what I need there, if it’s just the sex or domination, but there’s something about you that …” he falters, for the first time unsure, and shakes his head, “and that’s why I don’t know.”

“I push your buttons and I said it before, we do have a chemistry - and that’s unusual, not unheard of, but unusual, but forgive me, from where I’m sitting, you’re not telling me anything that other club subs have heard before. What we do? It messes with our heads, it messes with some powerful physical chemistry - call it infatuation if you like...and I can’t risk my job, more, just because ‘there’s something about me’,” Logan sighs, this is hard, and he’s having to force himself to be clear, to respect the boundaries that he’s had to create to protect himself.

Jai sighs and nods sadly, wishing there was some way to qualify what it is he is feeling and maybe the boy is right, maybe it is infatuation. It is pretty obvious to Jai that anything he might be building with this boy is one sided and if that is the case then tonight is successful in that he now knows where he stands and it seems he will have to settle for what Logan is willing to let him pay for.

“Thank you for your honesty and your time, I wish I could tell you more but perhaps you are right,” Jai scrubs his face tiredly, “and I have no right to ask you to risk your job for maybes.”

Now it’s Logan that leans in - “What maybes Jai? That’s what I’m getting at, all you’ve said is ‘there’s something about you’ I can’t draw anything from that? Do you want me to see you off club for sex? Do you want to pay me to come play your live in slave? Or do you think you want to have some insane romantic relationship with me?”

“Yes,” Jai huffs a humourless laugh, that’s exactly what he wants, all of it and everything. He has been with enough subs to know that what he gets from Logan, in only two scenes, is more than all of them put together.

“Yes?” Logan shakes his head. “Yes which one?” He’s starting to feel uncomfortable, and his hands are trembling.

It’s all or nothing, Jai will likely never see Logan again after tonight and he momentarily chides himself for wasting their time, but he has to say it, “All of that,” his eyes flick up and meet Logan’s intense blue gaze, “but mostly it’s the insane romantic relationship thing …”

Logan’s eyes widen for the briefest moment, and then his lashes flutter down to hide himself as he tries to process that. He lets out a breath and picks up the glass, draining the last of the wine in one greedy swallow.

Two years ago a proposition like this would have been a gift - he’d have been smiling, playing on all of the things he’d learnt about Jai, anything to keep the man happy while Logan made the most of the situation, using the other man to provide him with some short term security, but now? Earning his own money, living in his own home, owing nothing to anyone outside his job...

The silence drags out - until he nods. “Okay, I...I need to think about that - it’s, I um...” he looks around him at the beautiful kitchen, at the beach beyond. “Me? Really? You think you want me?” he suddenly blurts out.

That right there is one of the reasons that Jai is so enamoured, that this sensible young man can go to the excitable boy in moments. He smiles, eyes twinkling, “Yes.”

Logan returns the smile. “Then you’re mad,” he shakes his head, scrubbing his hand through his thick hair, leaving it mussed. “Ok...I have to speak to work - I think it means you can’t see me there,” he takes a breath. “And...you don’t get to start this off the back of what we’ve shared there, that was Wade.”

Nothing in the world could wipe the wide smile off Jai’s face, he doesn’t care about what Logan has to do at Citadel, if he gets his way, if this works, then it won’t matter. That’s still a ways off though.

“A fresh start, okay,” Jai nods and tentatively reaches his hand out, upturned to allow Logan the choice, his manners (almost) always at the fore.

Logan’s belly rolls, his skin prickles up - and he reaches back, setting his fingers in Jai’s hand. “The minute you make me feel like a whore, I’m gone. Do you understand? Just for once, I want to know what it feels like to be normal,” _To be treated like a regular guy_.

“I hate that word, always have, so if you don’t say it then I won’t do it …” Jai hasn’t been able to take his eyes off Logan since he agreed to see him and he can see that being a natural thing when they are together. Another thing that is natural is … “Logan? Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes,” Logan smiles. “But my clothes stay on tonight, no fucking,” he winks. Now his hands are shaking not from stress, but from anticipation.

"Of course," Jai rises, towering over Logan and sinks the long fingers of his large hands deep into Logan's thick, black hair, tilting the boy's head back and bringing their lips together. It is a very possessive gesture but he keeps it tender as he opens Logan's mouth with his tongue.

Logan’s mouth opens with pleasure, he hums into the kiss, sucking lightly on Jai’s tongue, and his own hands come up to rest on the other man’s shoulders. Jai tastes of wine, a faint hint of garlic and it’s lovely, it’s normal, and it’s lovely.

Before he gets too carried away Jai backs off, his breath already heavier. "Why don't you go crawl up onto the lounge while I get dessert. I won't be long," he suggests in a low, rough voice.

Logan nods, a little hazy himself - that spark, the way his skin reacts to Jai - had made him all tingly in all the right (or wrong) places. “Okay,” he murmurs, he picks up his wine glass and slips out of his seat, heading toward the living room, once he’s there he takes the seat nearest the huge windows, looking out at the beach and the sea beyond.

Jai spends a little to much time with his head against the fridge door trying to calm his libido, deep breaths and thoughts of anything but the gorgeous boy in the other room. Eventually he returns with a tray holding a bottle of Tempus Two botrytis semillon, some double cream and a huge bowl of strawberries which he places on the coffee table in front of Logan, “I hope you’ve still got some room left for these.”

“Strawberries!” Logan’s face lights up and he grins. “I always have room for strawberries,” Bright blue eyes turn to Jai. “Thank you for remembering,”

“You’re welcome,” he pours them two small slender glasses of the very sweet wine and hands one to Logan, “try this, I think you’ll like it with the strawberries. I’ve been waiting for a special occasion to open it.” Jai sits back and sips from his own glass, letting the sweet liquid run over his tongue while he watches the even sweeter sight in front of him. He keeps his distance, on the same lounge but at the other end, Jai intends to woo Logan with every one of his best gentlemanly attributes. When they again get to a sexual place it will be because the boy not only wants it but because he is begging for it.

Logan picks out one of the most ripe looking strawberry, he sniffs it, the sweet smell making him smile. “Perfect,” he nods before popping it in his mouth and humming his pleasure. Then he sips the wine, and makes a surprised noise of ‘OMFG!’.

Jai laughs, his eyes bright and twinkling at Logan's reaction, the sensation is indeed wonderful but Logan is more so. Jai picks up a strawberry and does the same, tempted to taste it from Lo's lips and another night he will, ridiculously glad he shipped an entire crate of the wine. Next he dips some fruit into the cream and holds it out, "Try this too."

“No thank you, I like them like this, or dipped in chocolate,” Logan grins, “And now I like them with this wine!” He eats another, then he toes off his shoes and curls his feet under him, like he’s making himself at home. “I could get used to this,” he teases.

“Me too,” Jai’s reply is quiet and undemanding, he almost wishes it was winter so he could have the fire burning. “So, am I allowed to ask what it is that you’d like to do in college?”

“I don’t know, I told you,” A small frown mars Logan’s face for a moment, but it smooths out when he sips the wine again. “Why’re you so fucking hung up on that?”

“I’m not, I’m just curious,” Jai tries not to sound pushy or parental, “you aren’t staying at Citadel forever so I thought you might have some idea of where you want to go after. If you don’t want to talk about it then I won’t ask again.”

“I’ll get my diploma and then look at my options,” Logan leans in to the strawberries, and carefully selects his next mouthful. “English, and....psychology, I’d like to learn about psychology, what makes people tick,”

_Finally,_ “A very interesting field.” Jai takes one more strawberry then leaves the rest to Logan, sitting back with his wine but not taking his eyes off the boy. Jai manages to get a bit more information out of Logan and he realises that trust with him is going to be a long time coming but he thinks that is okay. He’s also sure that Lo knows more about him than he did and is all in all satisfied with the evening.

They talked for longer than Jai expected and when he realises that he is tired the clock says it’s after eleven. “You’re welcome to stay, I have three spare bedrooms,” he offers, “or I can call you a car if you prefer,” the ‘no strings attached’ is inferred, Jai has behaved himself tonight, properly so Logan felt no pressure from him.

“I should go home,” As much as Logan might be tempted to stay here, and watch the sun rise out of those lovely windows, he knows he has to reinforce the boundaries he’s set up here. “A car would be lovely, thank you,”

Jai nods, a morning with Logan would have been lovely, he will have to wait but Jai is nothing if not patient. “Of course,” Jai makes arrangements for a Citadel car, not trusting an ordinary cab with his boy and returns to the lounge. “They will be here in thirty minutes. Can I ask when I can see you again? For dinner out perhaps?”

Logan’s pulling his shoes back on when Jai reappears. “Um, oh....dinner?” A moment of confusion. “A date?” he looks back at his laces for a moment. “I’m off the day after tomorrow?”

“A date,” Jai nods, smiling, “and um, if you don’t mind could I have your phone number? I’d prefer not to contact you at work.” As an afterthought he adds, smiling “I’ll give you my cell number too, so David doesn’t have any more ammunition.”

Logan chuckles at that, he reaches into his back pocket for his phone, a rather battered looking iPhone - the corner of the screen cracked. “Sure,” he swipes his thumb over it and brings up a new contact card before handing it up to Jai. “Put your number in, I’ll message you,”

Jai types both his cell and office number into the phone with his name and address, a subtle show of the trust he has in Logan, and hands it back. “Is there anywhere that you’d like to go for dinner that you haven’t been to?”

Logan shakes his head. “No...but then I don’t really look at places for dinner,” he avoids Jai’s gaze for a moment. “I’d...I’d really like to try Spanish food...” he glances up, like a kid asking for a treat. “Is that okay?”

“Yes. Spanish it is.” Jai would love for Logan to ask for anything he wants and it is a slow realisation that Jai is seriously considering having him around for a long time. “I’ll message you with the details.”

It’s too soon when there is a beep from the diveway and Jai sighs, their evening is over and he misses Logan’s company already. “Time to go.”

Logan rolls to his feet. “I left my bag in the kitchen,” he waves his hand back toward where they started their meal. “And thank you, for a wonderful evening,” he means it - as much as he’s got more than enough to think about, and he needs to go speak to some one at work as soon as possible. “It’s been...interesting to say the least,”

Jai opens the door to the stairs and walks slowly down as he waits for Logan to follow and stops at the very bottom, when Lo is a step above him he asks quietly, “May I kiss you good night?”

Logan nods, he reaches up to cup the side of Jai’s face. “Yeah, I’d love that,”

The sweetness of the wine and fruit lingers and as much as Jai wants to chase that taste to every inch of Logan he just stands and lets the boy kiss him as long as he wants to.

Logan takes his fill, pulling back to press one kiss to the corner of Jai’s mouth, and whisper. “Thank you,” once more, then he nuzzles him again, as if to imprint the smell of him to memory before stepping back. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promises with a nod, then he’s moving down the steps toward the waiting car.

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.

 


	8. jai_courtney | Jai Courtney and Logan Lerman (cit_logan_lerman) Tappas Date

Players only, backdated to the end of July 2014.

 

The day following dinner at Jai’s house had found Logan preoccupied to say the least - the reality of what had been put on offer finally sinking in, and the more he thought about it, the more he really can’t understand why Jai wants him - for sex, for kink, yeah, he gets that, he’s good at what he does, but as a potential partner? After he’d finished his shift he’d gone home with a pizza and invited Ginny round to hang out - where he told her everything. As ever she’d provided him with a different perspective, and had encouraged him to at least try it and see. “There’s someone out there for you Lo - maybe it’s this guy? Maybe it’s not, but you have to start letting people in - not everyone is out to use you,”

That night he curled up on the sofa and slept with Dwight tucked in behind his legs.

David wrongly assumed that Jai’s date didn’t go well, his boss has been uncharacteristically quiet and contained all day so he offers for Jai to join him and Reece for a night on the town which Jai declines, instead heading home to his empty house. Any other night he might have visited the club but as the day passed and he thought more about Logan the urgency is not there.

A couple of days later Jai calls and reserves a table at Vintage Enoteca, a small but popular Tapas bar just a few blocks away from his office then sends off a text to Logan:

_**my office at 5 tomorrow, let me know if you need a ride Jai** _

Logan picks up his messages when he collects his stuff from his locker at the end of his shift. He grins when he reads it - a little bubble of excitement settles in his belly. He decides to get a cab over, not wanting to take advantage of Jai’s generosity. A quick text in return.

_**5 it is. I’ll make my own way over. L.** _

~*~

 

“Well hello!” Logan is greeted by a grinning David. He’s pleased for his boss and immediately swaggers into his office to tease Jai, “Your gorgeous little boy is out there.”

Jai shoots a warning look at David but can’t help smiling, “Thank you, now fuck off.”

He leaves his coat and tie over the back of his office chair and checks his has his phone and wallet before heading out. _Fuck, he is gorgeous!_ Jai thinks when he lays eyes on Logan, “Hi,” is what he says, “we’re walking tonight. Ready?”

“Yeah,” Logan nods, and tugs his jacket around him a little closer. His gaze on Jai the moment the man steps into the room. “Good day?”

“It is now,” Jai replies quietly, smiling as he leads Logan out of the building and leaves a smirking David behind.

Once they are on the street Jai stretches, “I’ve still got a massive amount of work to do on the San Fran project but it’s coming along … I might be in for a few long nights since they want to start soon. How was your day?”

“I worked late last night, it was quiet, so I had a lie in this morning before cleaning my shoebox home,” Logan smiles, “Danced around while I did it,”

Jai laughs, lightened, “You danced?”

“Yeah, I always have to dance to Elton,” Logan flashes Jai a look from under his lashes.

“Elton huh?” Jai is surprised. “I’m not much of a dancer, we had to learn to waltz at school but that’s about as much as I can do. I do like music though, and I try to see as many Aussie artists as I can when they tour here.” He moves out of the way of another pedestrian and stays close to Logan’s side as they walk.

“You don’t dance?” Logan’s lower lip slides out a little. “You mean you’ve never been to a gay club dancing until the the sun comes up? Really?”

Jai has, not so much with the dancing, but he sees an opportunity for Logan to share something with him, “Nope, I guess you’re just going to have to take me.”

Logan’s eyes widen at that and he does a little skip on the spot. “That would be awesome!” He hesitates a moment and then he slides his hand through Jai’s arm. “I love Elton, almost more than strawberries, he’s a fucking legend,”

The smile that has creased Jai’s eyes all this way gets wider as the warmth from Logan’s hand spreads through him. “You’re going to have to take me shopping first, I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything to wear to a dance club.”

He’s silent for a while, watching people pass them by, having to lengthen his stride a little to keep up with Jai’s longer legs. “When did you last date someone?”

“Date? As in more than one or two times?” Jai doesn’t have to think about it, he knows exactly, “I broke up with her about a month before I came to the states, so no one for nearly six years.”

“You know that makes you sound like a freak huh?” Logan bumps his shoulder against Jai’s arm. “A freak, or a workaholic loner?”

“Workaholic freak,” Jai offers, smiling sadly, yeah but if things had been different … “This is us,” he leans past Logan and opens the door. The staff here know him well, he often brings clients here because the food is good and the atmosphere is relaxed. The waiter greets him by name and seats them in a quiet corner as requested, bringing a cold bottle of water and menus.

Logan is all eyes - he does this any where new, takes a few minutes to just absorb his surroundings and process them. When he’s done he turns his attention to Jai. “Could you please order for me?” he asks - polite as ever - his hands folded in his lap.

“Of course, I hardly even need to look at the menu.” When the waiter comes with his pad Jai rattles off a list of his favourite dishes and the ones he wants to start with, he then adds that they should serve the appropriate wines with a lean towards whites and thanks the waiter. “It’s not strictly Spanish, one night I’ll take you to another of my favourites for the best paella that you’ll have outside of Spain.”

“Have you been there? Spain? I saw pictures of a cathedral being built in Spain, Barcelona? This amazing modern building, it looked almost organic you know?” The words stop, as if he’s let out too much all in one go and Logan presses his lips together and smiles.

“My parents took me there when I was ten, I’m afraid that all I really remember is the paella and swimming,” Jai rests his chin in his hand, seeing only Logan, “the water was warm and very blue.”

“I can’t swim,” Logan pushes his hands between his thighs, embarrassed to admit it. “No one ever taught me how,”

Jai is a heartbeat away from saying that he will teach Logan but that seems a little too forward for now. “It’s never too late to learn.”

“I guess not,” Logan manages a half smile. “I sometimes feel like I’m playing catch up, with things other people got to do at the right time - like swimming, and school and even getting to go to a fucking zoo,”

“Makes me sad to hear that,” Jai reaches a hand across the table, offering it to Logan, it really is heartbreaking to see the weariness in him when at other times he is so young. After a pause he asks, “Have you been to a zoo?”

Logan looks at that large hand - the palm turned up - inviting, offering comfort. He hesitates for a moment and then he tugs one of his own free from his lap and sets it in Jai’s. “Yeah, I have now, Ginny took me for my birthday - we had a wonderful day, we ate so much rubbish I was sick when we got home,” he grins at the memory. “But yeah, it was perfect,”

“Everyone should have those days,” Jai is so happy for Logan. He enfolds Logan’s hand in his and smiles indulgently at the boy, “Are there other things you’ve always wanted to do?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Logan can’t take his gaze from their joined hands, Jai’s skin is warm. “Some of it a little more out there than visiting the zoo,” he huffs out a laugh at that, blue eyes flashing up at Jai.

Jai nods, encouraging Logan to continue, “Tell me,” and after a moment, “ I want to make a dream come true for you.”

Logan starts to pull his hand away at that, frowning.

“Don’t,” Jai says quietly, keeping his hand around Logan’s, “What’s wrong?”

“People like you, don’t do nice things for people like me - without expecting something in return,” Logan’s words are low and he can’t bring himself to look up at Jai.

Apparently Jai is going to have to keep proving himself to Logan, truth be told he expected that and is determined to do so. “All I expect is for you to enjoy our time together. And sometimes I’d like it if we were doing something you wanted to do,” he says gently.

“A volcano,” Logan blurts out, leaning in a little as if he’s imparting a secret. “I want to see a volcano, a live one,”

Jai blinks and then smiles, “Me too!” He clasps Logan’s hand a little tighter, “Hawaii, I’ve never been there.”

“Me either,” Logan rolls his eyes, and laughing softly. “But wouldn’t it be cool? To see one up close, doing that spurting thing with the lava,” He waves his free hand around to demonstrate.

“Very cool,” Jai agrees, he hopes he has the boy on a roll now, “anything else?”

“Yes,” He nods with a vaguely secretive smile. “There is one thing you can easily arrange for me - and it will cost you nothing...is a bonfire, on the beach - late at night - with beer and marshmallows, listening to the water and watching the stars,”

_Money is no object_ is too crass a thing to say even if it’s true. “I’m pretty sure I can do that,” Jai doesn’t pause to think before lifting Logan’s hand to his lips, “just let me know when.”

“Soon?” Logan’s breath hitches at the play of Jai’s mouth over his skin. “With ice cream?” he adds. “Please?”

“Next time you come to my place, I’ll make sure everything is ready,” Jai smiles widely at Logan. The waiter arrives with the first two plates of their first course, some dips and toasted turkish bread, right behind him is another waiter with glasses and wine.

“This looks wonderful,” Logan sets his napkin in his lap and waits for his wine to be poured, eyeing the food. “Can you tell me what’s in each?”

“Nope, they change it all the time,” Jai grins, “You’ll just have to try it and see.” He dips into a creamy looking one and bites down, “Hmmm hummus.”

Logan gets stuck in, trying each dish and finding he likes them all. “S’good,” he nods, picking up his wine. “I’ve never drunk so much as I do around you,” he admits over the rim of the glass.

“Is that a problem?” Jai is sipping from his glass as well, “you’re legal right?” He winks, letting Logan know he’s teasing.

“I am now,” He nods, grinning and helping himself to more bread. “So...tell me what else do you do apart from work and hit up the club?”

Jai slides his foot under the table until his shoe is resting along side Logans, needing contact of some sort. “I surf, read,” he takes another bite then adds, “I play some guitar and collect art,” he shrugs, “but mostly I work.”

“You have friends right?” Logan presses his foot against Jai’s, happy to let their knees touch.

Jai shrugs, mildly embarassed at his next admission, “Not really, David is a friend I guess and I have a few clients that I see socially sometimes but no real friends. Not here.” He places his glass carefully on the table, “You see I don’t let people get close, usually, I’m more of a loner. Don’t trust easily.”

Logan’s chewing slows until he’s staring at Jai. “But, you’re lovely,” he offers. “A bit odd, picking up wh...boys to spoil, but lovely and smart, you should have people to share that Jai,”

“I have you,” Jai is a little self conscious and tries to cover it by eating some more dip.

Logan swallows his food and uses the napkin to wipe his mouth, then he’s pushing up from his seat and leaning in, his fingers tilting Jai’s face up. He holds Jai’s gaze for a moment then he kisses him, a closed mouth, chaste kiss - then he pulls back and sits down again. “More wine?” he asks brightly, picking up the bottle.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jai again sees why he’s right in wanting Logan. He takes Logan’s hand again and when Logan looks at him he says, “That’s why you’re here, with me. Not the wine pouring,” he pre-empts, “that kiss.”

Setting the bottle down, Logan frowns. “I’ve kissed you before,” he shrugs, “I’ll kiss you again,”

“But you didn’t have to,” Jai smile shyly.

Before long the waiter reappears with plates loaded with tasty, sample sized morsels. Button mushrooms in garlic sauce, spicy chicken kebabs, crusty diced potatoes, blocks of beef that smell divine and more bread and sauces. Jai thanks him and tells Logan to “dig in but watch the potatoes, they’ll be hot.”

Logan happily ‘digs in’, before long his fingers are smeared in oil, his lips glistening with it. “This is so, so good,” He nods around a mouthful. “Can we come here again?” he question spills out naturally, clearly he’s already accepting there will be a next time - and more.

Jai is delighted that Logan likes it as much as he does, his own fingers coated in sauces and salt, “It is the best tapas around here that’s for sure and I would be more than happy to bring you back.”

“Can I tell you something?” Logan selects another piece of bread and helps himself to the chicken.

“Anything,” Jai nods encouragement.

“You might not like it,” Logan’s eyes flash with mischief. “After that time I saw you in the bar, right after we first met? Before you apologised with dinner? I christened you ‘The Asshole’,”

“Fair call,” Jai nods, as much as he hates to admit it, “that night I was an asshole and I can’t apologise enough. I still don’t fully understand why I behaved that way,” he holds up a hand to stay Logan, “I’ve done some reading on ‘dom drop’ and I concede it might have been that but it has never happened before and I’ve had some pretty intense scenes.” He adds quickly, “Not that it’s any excuse.”

“Drop plays out in a number of ways - you may have had it before and put it down to other stresses,” Logan shrugs. “I nearly reported you, you know? After that thing in the bar - we’re supposed to report instances where negotiations are disrespected,”

He still isn’t convinced but it’s the last thing that Logan said that concerns Jai, he looks up at the boy intently, “Did you report me? You probably should have.”

“Yes I should have, but no, I didn’t,” Logan sets his bread down and wipes his fingers on his napkin before picking up his wine. “Let’s just say, I judged you were only potentially dangerous to me in that head space, and that you needed to work through it, drop or not,”

“You were right to refuse me,” Jai pauses to put the words together in his head, “ I don’t think I would have hurt you any more than the night before but I wouldn’t have done either of us any favours.” Jai looks down at his hands, twisting the napkin in an unusual show of nerves, “If I do that again, then please refuse me again. I might be pissed at the time but I don’t want to ever hurt you out of anger. I trust your judgement.”

“You should,” Logan nods, “And you can rest assured, I will never play with you, or anyone else who I think is in the wrong headspace, it’s too risky,” He sips his wine and watches Jai for a moment. “Though I’m kinda hoping you’ll never get like that with me again,”

“Me too,” Jai smiles shyly, amused at himself, it seems that Logan is somewhat in charge here, “but you’ve got my back so we’re all good.”

“Yes, yes we are, so long as you know, I will always put my well being first - long before yours, I look after me - no one else will,” Logan’s tone is even, his words said with a quiet assurance. “Do you understand that?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” It’s Jai’s turn to stand and lean over the table, “I will never betray your trust,” he murmurs as he closes the distance between them to press a kiss to Logan’s lips. Unlike Logan’s this kiss is sexier, Jai’s lips slightly parted and the tip of his tongue sneaking a taste.

Logan pulls back a moment, nuzzles against Jai’s mouth, “That’s a big promise to make,” he whispers. _And no one has ever managed to keep it..._

“Yes,” he sits back, licking his own lips to chase Logan’s flavour, “I know it is and I can’t promise to always keep a lid on it but you can be sure I will respect your safeword and your judgement.”

“I know you will, because the moment you don’t? I’m gone.” Logan warns softly.

It’s on the tip of his tongue to say something about Logan being the boss but neither of them want their relationship to have that dynamic. “I won’t hold you against your will,” Jai rubs the back of Logan’s hand and grins, “unless you ask me nicely.”

“Fuck off,” Logan laughs at that, shaking his head. He up nods at the last of the mushrooms. “May I?”

Jai nods, “They’re good aren’t they?” One of his favourite dishes here, he sits back and watches Logan eat, his pink tongue slipping over his fingers and lips and Jai’s pants tighten. He has managed to keep his arousal in check but seeing that is challenging his abilities.

Logan polishes off the last of the mushrooms, wipes his mouth and leans back in his chair, he seems to be intent on his food, but his attention is still on the man beside him, and he’s read that shift in tension, the subtle fidgeting - he’s made his living at reading men’s urges for years after all.

“There’s still no sex on offer,” he murmurs softly, lifting his lashes he meets Jai’s gaze. “Just so we’re clear,”

“Not asking,” Jai is determined to wait until Logan is the one asking, he knows it will be worth it. “But I will ask if you want dessert? They do these little berry pies here that are almost as sweet as you.”

The smile is sudden, as is the laughter. “Oh! That’s so cheesy,” he reaches out to poke Jai in the arm. “Yeah sure, I always like dessert, thank you,”

“Hey,” Jai pokes back, “I’m trying to be romantic.”

“Oh is that what romantic is? Huh, I always wondered,” Logan drawls, making a playful grab for Jai’s finger.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” Jai waves the waiter over and orders dessert, specifying one of their ‘special’ berry pies for his companion.

“Is that what’s in store for me? Romance?” Logan can’t hide the skepticism in his voice.

“Now that would be telling, “ Jai deliberately uses words he has used before but delivers them with more of a tease.

Logan drains the last of his wine and sets the empty glass down. “Well it’ll be a novelty if you do,” he grins.

“Tell? Or be romantic?” Jai is noticing that Logan’s tongue has loosened with the wine and thinks it’s a good thing that they won’t be having more, he’s not about to take advantage of the boy, that would definitely be a breach of trust.

“Romance, odd idea, almost like lying...’here’ let me give you flowers so you think I’m lovely, when all I want is sex.’” Logan shrugs again. “It’s all about sex isn’t it?”

Jai is saddened by Logan’s cynicism and shakes his head, “Not everything is about sex but yes, I still want you.” At that moment the waiter appears with their desserts, a small tart on a plate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, Jai’s has a pastry star in the center and Logan is presented with a heart shape on his.

“Of course it’s about sex, if I told you that I’d love to keep seeing you like this, but we’d never have sex again...there’s no way you’d hang around,” Logan picks up his spoon and eyes up the tart - the heart he finds ironic. “I’m not being rude Jai, it’s just how it is,”

“Okay, I admit that if there weren’t the possibility then I would find it difficult, who wouldn’t?” Jai replies honestly, “But I’m not in it alone and it isn’t the _only_ thing that I’m interested in.”

Jai’s words cut through Logan’s preoccupation with his dessert and he looks up. He leaves aside the ‘I’m not in it alone’ comment, because he’s trying not to figure out why he agreed to see Jai - other than it’s a change to have someone so very attentive. But the latter statement gives him some pause. “It’s not?”

“Of course not,” Jai replies, firm but gentle, “if I didn’t want to get to know _you_ I could still be paying for you.” He hates that he has to say those words out loud but that is the bottom line. “And before you ask, it’s not about getting you without having to pay, I’d willingly keep doing that if you didn’t give me any other option but it’s not what I want.”

“It’s all odd for me,” Logan admits, nudging his tart with his spoon. “But I’ll go with it for now, figure it out as I go, I guess,” he looks up at Jai. “You’re so gorgeous, you know that?”

A hint of pink rises high on Jai cheeks, he knows he’s built because he works on it but he’s always considered himself plain in the looks department. “And you’re beautiful.” Logan’s long dark eyelashes over those deep blue eyes and his flawless pale skin has been something Jai couldn’t look away from since the beginning. He reaches again for Logan’s hand, thumb caressing the long fingers, “Can we just let it happen without second guesses and over analysing?”

He holds Jai’s gaze for a moment, then he nods. “Yeah,” he says softly. “We can do that,”

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	9. Beach Party For Two.

Players only, backdated to early August 2014.

 

Jai and Logan kept in touch through text messages and soon found a night that suited them both. Logan would arrive in a Citadel car at around six and Jai took a rare day off to prepare. He’s built a fire on the beach in front of his house and packed a basket full of goodies.

It’s been a week since he got to see Jai, their schedules messing up any chance to see each other before today. Lo had been on shift until five, and after his last client he used the facilities at work to shower and change out to some knee length shorts and a tight white tee, his feet stuffed into some battered converse. He stuffs his things into a bag and makes his way out to the waiting car - taking the opportunity on the ride over to close his eyes and relax.

It is still hot outside so Jai is dressed in board shorts and a singlet, his shoulders pink from the sun. He’s showered but not bothered to tame his unruly curls, even as short as it is he has to gel it into place most days. When the bell rings he smiles widely and jogs to the door, “Hi! Come on in.”

Logan looks up when the door is pulled open, and he’s sure he can’t keep the surprise from his face - this is the first time he’s seen Jai in something other than a suit (or a disheveled version of). “Hey,” he grins and steps up into the house, hoping for a hug but expecting nothing.

Inside the house is cool, the air isn’t on because Jai uses it as a last resort, instead he has the huge doors on the beach side open to the breeze and the smell of the ocean. One of the few things he misses about home is what it smells like and this is as close as he’s found.

He steps back allowing Logan to enter then closes the door behind him, “Can I get you a drink? I’m about to have a beer but there’s water, juice and maybe some cherry coke …”

“Coke please,” Logan grins - knowing he’s the reason that stuff is even in the house. “Could do with a sugar buzz,” he nods, he hitches his bag up his shoulder as he follows Jai further into the house. The breeze from the beach hits him as he turns a corner and his smile widens further. “I love your house,”

“Thanks, it’s why I put those doors in,” Jai heads for the kitchen and calls back, “just drop your bag anywhere.” He pours a very tall glass of coke with lots of ice for Logan and grabs a bottle of beer for himself, “You want to sit out here for a bit? Watch the water.” It’s something Jai does as often as he can, it helps calm him and somehow makes him feel less lonely when the homesickness hits.

Logan toes off his shoes and puts them with his bag. “Yeah sure, I’d like that,” He trails out after Jai - he tilts his head up against the light wind and closes his eyes. It’s been a busy day.

He sets their drinks on the table and sags into the sofa, relaxed in the knowledge that his preparations are done and Logan has arrived. It is always a surprise to Jai that the boy agrees to see him, albeit a pleasant one, and although Logan himself says he doesn’t see why Jai wants him, the insecurity runs both ways.

“You look like you’ve had a big day,” Jai doesn’t want to think about what that means but he does want to engage Logan in conversation and the words are out before he can stop them.

Turning his head, Logan cracks open one eye. “Busy couple of days, I helped out in the bar last night, and I had two clients today,” Jai bought it up, so Logan sees no reason not to tell him about his day. “So yeah, I’m tired, but this is the perfect antidote,” he moves to sit beside Jai, wincing just a little as he settles on his butt. “You’ve been out in the sun, have you been home all day?”

“Yeah,” Jai stretches his arm behind Logan, resting it on the cushion but not touching, he is still willing to let this be at Lo’s pace, “not something I get to do very often. It’s been full on at work with this new project, I may even have to put on a draftsman if I get much more work.” He scrubs a hand over his face half wishing it had come away salty.

The way Jai opened up his body like that is a clear signal to Logan he’s seeking some kind of touch - and Logan is needing the same. He inches closer, shifting his weight onto his hip and off his buttocks and leans in, tucking himself up under Jai’s arm. He can smell sunshine on the man’s skin, soap and a light natural muskiness. “No point in overstretching yourself Jai, get some help, make time to enjoy all the stuff you have,”

Jai sighs, the little tension he was holding flows away, “You’re right, I do need to take some time for myself now that I’m established.” He allows his fingertips to caress Logan’s arm, the smooth skin warm under hands that seem too large and crude to be touching such perfection.

“Maybe you can go home for a visit huh?” Logan tips his head against Jai’s shoulder and closes his eyes. He feels safe here, he can relax and unwind, the easiness between them should be freaking him out, but he can’t seem to find the energy to worry about it.

“Maybe.” When Jai thinks of home he usually thinks of her and that is the thing that has kept him away. “It’s been a while,” he muses, eyes drifting across the ocean as his hand slides further down Logan’s arm, all of it unconscious. “My folks came to see this place a couple of years ago,” he looks down at Logan, wishing more than anything that he could kiss him right now, “not sure I’m ready yet.”

Tipping his head back, Logan opens his eyes. “Ready? That’s an odd thing to say, it’s home right? And you get on with your parents, why wouldn’t you be ready?” There’s a little wrinkle between Logan’s brows.

“I was hurt when I left there, very hurt,” Jai glances at Logan but can’t hold his gaze, “I suppose I’m afraid that I’ll see her again,” he is telling Logan things that no one else knows, “that people won’t know what happened and those that I thought were friends will hate me.”

There’s not much Logan can say, clearly this is something that runs hard and deep for Jai, instead he slides his arm over Jai’s chest and gives him a light squeeze. “It’s been six years - people change, move on...I bet it’s nothing like you think,”

“Probably,” Jai closes his eyes and lets Logan’s warmth seep into him, “they’re mostly her friends, my school mates still keep in touch.” He lets his hand slip down over Logan’s back, the fine fabric lets him feel the movement of Logan’s muscles underneath. “I’ll have to go home soon anyway, my father isn’t well.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” He studies Jai’s face. “You’re lucky you know. To have a home you can go back to, to have people who care about you, parents who love you,” he murmurs, “Never take that for granted Jai,”

“Yeah, I am and I don’t take anything for granted.” Jai looks down into that beautiful face, “May I kiss you?”

Swallowing, Logan merely nods, shifting to lift his face a little more, his lips parting in anticipation.

Jai closes the distance, his own lips barely parted, and presses them to Logan’s. He tenderly swipes his tongue along Logan’s lips, catching the sugary cola and the underlying sweetness that is Logan. Jai has an advantage but he doesn’t press it. “Thank you, waited all week for that.”

The kiss sends tingles skittering along Logan’s skin, but its the brevity of the kiss and Jai’s words that have Logan’s belly rolling. Without a word, he levers himself up a little more, slides one hand around Jai’s neck and presses his mouth back against the other man’s lips, seeking, _demanding_ more.

All Jai wants to do is pull Logan into his lap and wrap him in his arms, he wants to respect Lo so he doesn’t give in to his desire. Neither does he stop Logan from taking what he wants, Jai waits until the boy is done, his hands resting on Logan’s waist, then pulls back. “Let me take you for a walk.”

Logan licks out, chasing the last of Jai’s kiss from his lower lip, his pupils are a little blown, and he shakes his head. “No,” he wriggles back down under Jai’s arm. “I just want to sit, and cuddle and be quiet with you, I never get to do that with someone,”

“But I insist,” Jai smiles indulgently at Logan’s pout, “we can sit and cuddle soon, I promise.” He gently pushes Logan away and moves to the edge of the seat, “Trust me.”

_Trust me_ Logan blinks at the words, wondering if Jai can ever begin to understand how little Logan trusts anyone. “May I use the bathroom first?” The simple question phrased in a manner he’d use during a scene, rather than the less subservient ‘I need to pee’.

“Yeah, sure, you remember where it is?” Jai missed the subtlety, he wasn’t looking for it, more trying to tamp down his arousal, “I have to grab a couple of things from the kitchen.”

Logan nods, he pushes up from the seat and heads inside, he pauses at his bag to fish out a couple of painkillers which he palms before making his way to the downstairs bathroom. After pissing and washing his hands he drops his shorts and turns to check over his shoulder at the welts on his butt. His last client had beaten him, a hard caning that had split the skin in a couple of places, the bruising is coming out now, dark purple stripes all over his ass. “Fuck,” he rumbles, tugging his clothes back in place he tosses the pills down his throat, washing them down with a handful of water from the tap.

Jai waits for a moment, expecting Logan to appear from the other side of the livingroom then he hears the door open downstairs. “I’ll be there in a sec,” he calls as he throws a rug over his shoulder and picks up the coolerbag before heading down.

“We can go out through the garage,” Jai tells Logan as he exits the bathroom.

Logan smiles when he sees what Jai has - “Okay, I’ll follow your lead,” he reaches out to take the blanket.

“Watch your step, stay close behind me,” Jai chuckles, “I don’t mean to sound like we’re in a spy movie but there’s car parts on the floor and I don’t want you to trip.” They keep to the wall, around Jai’s BMW, to the other side, “And here’s my other project,” he points to a partially restored car, “it’s a 1966 Corvette Stingray, going to be gorgeous.”

“Oh wow!” Logan pauses to peer at the car. “Huh, I’m still saving for a car,” he admits.

Jai smiles and takes Logan’s hand, “You’ll do it too. Door’s here.” He opens and they are steps away from the beach, the pile of driftwood that Jai collected is still standing right ahead of them on the sand, appearing to be already on fire with the setting sun behind it.

“Oh, you did it,” Logan walks ahead of Jai, down the beach to where the wood is all piled up, far enough from the house and a little way down the beach. “Thank you!” He turns to look at Jai, “You remembered,”

He remembers everything. Jai nods as he takes the blanket from Logan and spreads it out on the sand, placing the bag on one corner. He produces a lighter from his pocket and touches the flame to the paper he has stuffed into the center. “I have marshmallows too.”

Logan lowers himself to the sand, only it’s a lot less forgiving than the couch. He grunts out a soft noise of pain and rolls onto his side, brow furrowed, distracted for a moment from the fire and the lovely man on the other side of it.

Jai frowns, his head popping up, “Are you okay?” As soon as he’s sure the fire is going Jai is next to Logan, concerned, “Sounds like you’re in pain.” He might be naive but he didn’t even consider until now that Logan might have had a _hard_ day.

“I just took some pain pills, it’ll ease off when they kick in.” Logan rolls onto his front. “My last session was a caning,” he adds his voice lower. “So...yeah, now you know,”

_Shit_. He wants to say he’s sorry but doesn’t know what for, Jai has a better idea, “I’ll be right back.” Before Logan can say anything Jai runs back inside and grabs some cushions and pillows from the guest bedroom and brings them back, reasoning that it will be more comfortable for both of them, he’s also brought another blanket in case they get cold.

Chin cupped in his palm, he watches Jai disappear, wondering what the hell is going on with the other man. After a few moments he tucks his head on his arms and turns to look at the flames. He’s never been treated like this before - someone being so attentive to him and what makes him happy - sure he has friends, but that’s not what he has going on with Jai, and it’s scary and wonderful all rolled into one. He glances up when he hears footfalls on the sand, to find Jai approaching, his face and body obscured by a pile of soft furnishings. He laughs out loud, delighted.

“You wanted a fire on the beach, gotta be comfortable,” Jai wants to kill the man who made Logan so sore that he can’t enjoy this evening. He sets the cushions down on the blanket and sits, holding his arm out so he can wrap it around Logan once he’s seated.

Pushing up, Logan scoots around, and gingerly lowers himself down onto the cushion. It’s tender, but not unbearable, so he turns his face up to Jai’s and offers him a thank you kiss. “You’re lovely,” he murmurs.

Jai takes the offered kiss with parted lips then replies, “You’re beautiful.” With his free hand Jai opens the cooler and pulls out a bottle of beer, “I have another one of these or a coke, are you thirsty?”

“Coke, please, I just took some pills,” Logan reminds Jai. “Time enough for me to have a drink later,” he adds with a smile.

“Okay,” Jai is not trying to get Logan drunk even if the thought of a gorgeous, pliable body is hard to resist. “Hungry?” he asks, smiling as he pulls a bowl of strawberries from the bag followed by a little pot of dipping chocolate.

“A little,” Logan eyes the strawberries. “Can we wait a while? I really just want to sit quietly with you,” _Please, stop fussing, I’m not used to it._

Leaning in Logan sets his head against Jai’s shoulder. “You offered me a spare room before, is that still on offer?”

“Any time you want it,” Jai scoots around so that his legs are either side of Logan, allowing him to lay back against Jai’s chest, “and we can sit as long as you like.”

Logan knows he’s dropping, and hard, maybe it wasn’t fair to see Jai after his day - letting this lovely man deal with the damage caused by other men. He takes the comfort on offer, leaning back, and taking one of Jai’s hands in his own, he turns it over, studies it, runs his forefinger over the lines on his palm. It’s all very quiet, and rather intimate.

It seems to Jai that Logan is letting his guard down, finally letting Jai see him really relax. He watches their hands together, his darker and so much bigger than Logan’s slender ones. Jai places a kiss on the top of Logan’s head, inhaling the sweet scent of his shampoo while his free hand slides over his boy’s chest to pull him in close.

“When you see yourself, in the future, with someone special...what do you want, what do you see?” Logan’s voice is soft a little hesitant, and he turns his gaze to the fire, thankful, Jai can’t see his face. “Is it a girl?”

It’s an interesting question and not one Jai has spent much time on. “If you’d asked me that a few years ago I would have said yes, it’s pretty much expected where I’m from. But now,” he shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s definitely not as clear cut as it was.”

“Don’t you want children one day?” He stops drawing on Jai’s palm in favour of lacing their fingers together.

“Maybe,” Jai stares into the fire and thinks he’s probably getting some karma for all the questions he’s asked Logan, “but not for a long time yet. It’s not something that I really think about.” He turns to the side to look at Logan, his stunning features lit by the glowing fire, “Do you?”

Logan’s head comes up, “What? Want children?” He barks out a bitter laugh. “Hell no, what the fuck do I know about how to do that properly? The lifestyle I lead? No.” He’s quite determined on that. “I’m glad I’m gay, no one expects you to do that shit,”

“Lots of gay people have kids, I’m just not ready to make any decisions about that yet.” Jai’s hand slides lower, over Logan’s belly, rubbing circles, “Besides, you never really know what’s going to happen next.”

“I know they can, it’s just not expected, like it is if you’re straight,” He blows out a breath, looking out to sea now, the last of the sunlight almost gone. “Do you have any siblings?” He assumes not, that Jai might’ve mentioned it by now.

“Nope, just me, though my mother had a still born child before me. I have cousins around my age so I wasn’t exactly lonely.” Jai pulls Logan in again, rubbing his nose behind Lo’s ear.

_I was..._ Logan sighs, the pain is an old friend, he lets himself indulge in a moment of self pity before he takes a breath and pushes it back in it’s box. “Will you teach me to swim one day?” he shivers as Jai’s breath tickles his skin and he’s torn with wanting and not wanting the man to nibble on his ear - his cast iron melting button.

Jai smiles, Logan has gone from not wanting to tell Jai anything at all to asking him for something that will mean they’ll have to spend lots of time together in the future. “I’d love to, you want to learn to surf too?” He reluctantly moves his hand away from Logan to pop the lid off the chocolate then dips a strawberry into it.

“One step at a time,” Logan grins, preferring this lighter mood. “But I’ll happily watch you,” he turns to tilt his face up to Jai’s. “Thank you,” And he’s not sure specifically what the gratitude is for - there is so much here to be thankful for.

“You’re more than welcome,” Jai can’t not kiss that upturned face so he does and when Logan doesn’t stop him he drops the strawberry and cups Logan’s face, tracing the seam of his lips with a tender tongue.

Logan mewls softly, the kiss making his skin goosebump, his cock twitches and starts to fill - not something a mere kiss usually does to him. He shifts a little more, pressing in, his own hands starting to pet and caress warm skin.

He tries not to think too much about what is happening, just staying aware so as not to push Logan. Jai allows himself to be kissed and touched and as Logan turns more toward him he slumps back on the cushions.

Following where Jai falls back, Logan pretty much climbs up to sprawl over Jai’s torso, his mouth slides from Jai’s lips and down his chin, rough with stubble, to his neck and shoulders. He takes his time, enjoying the simple pleasure of being able to savour a partner’s body on his own terms. His cock is fully hard now, pressed down against Jai’s lower belly.

Jai’s hands move down from Logan’s hair to his shoulders, the skin warm through his shirt, then lower over his back and ass. He can’t be sure but he imagines he can feel the hot stripes of the other man’s marks.

“Don’t touch me there,” Logan’s voice is rough, he lifts his head, his eyes dark. “Anywhere else, not there,” It feels wrong, and later when he has a clearer head he’ll wonder why it felt like Jai would dirty his hands by touching him.

“Sorry,” the annoyance Jai feels for Logan’s client increases, who would leave a boy in a state where he can’t even be touched hours later? He moves his hands immediately, wrapping his arms strongly around Lo’s waist and kissing him deeply again. He can feel Logan’s erection against him and is pressing his own into his boy’s thigh.

Breaking the kiss, Logan sucks lightly on Jai’s lower lip. “Can I go down on you? Please?” he asks, his tone breathy, his fingers rubbing skin over hard muscle. “Here,”

Jai thunks his head back moaning, how do you say no to that? “Are you sure?” He doesn’t want to push Logan at all.

“Yes,” Logan huffs out a soft chuckle. “I’ve seen your dick, I definitely want to suck it,” he starts to wriggle down, because that was certainly not a ‘no’. “But this is me...Logan...” he qualifies as he starts to tug down the shorts over Jai’s groin.

“Oh god,” Jai’s hands go straight to his own head if only to stop him grabbing Logan’s. His cock has been hard almost since they started kissing and now that it is exposed to the cool air he can feel the pre come on his skin.

“Hmm,” Logan hums his approval at what he finds, Jai is blessed in the dick department, not just a little longer than average, but he’s thick too. He curls his fingers around the head and tugs back the foreskin, what he finds makes him suck in a sharp breath of surprise. Snug against the head, emerging from the slit and curving round the underside is a thick metal ring. “What?” He looks up the line of Jai’s torso. “How did I not know you had this?” They’ve scened more than once, hell Logan’s been fucked by this very cock.

Jai wants to complain that Logan has stopped, instead he chuffs a laugh, “I don’t like anything too big,” at least Lo still has a hand on him, “not that much of a show off.”

“Ugh, you should be,” Logan studies the piercing for a moment, watching fascinated as precum seeps around it. “It’s gorgeous,” he murmurs, before slipping his tongue out to swipe over it, testing to see how it feels. He hums his pleasure as Jai’s taste blooms over his taste buds and he sucks the whole crown in, rubbing his tongue against the ring.

Just like Logan has a trigger in his earlobe Jai has one attached to that ring, especially where Logan is concerned. He groans as the head is engulfed after the tickling tease of Logan’s kitten licks. “Fuck that feels good.”

Shifting to get comfortable, Logan sets about this blow job with determination, Jai tastes good, his dick is perfect and that ring adds a new layer of interesting. He hums, sucking hard, using his fingers to pleasure the parts he can’t get his mouth around. Spit slicks the corners of his mouth, it’s getting messy and he doesn’t care.

The hardest thing by far is not thrusting up into that sweet and willing heat and Jai’s orgasm is aproaching with the speed of light. He has hardly come at all these last couple of weeks and he certainly hasn’t had anyone else touch him since Logan last did. “Not going to take much baby, been a while,” he forgets himself and pats Lo on the head.

Logan can tell - Jai is trembling with tension. The casual endearment makes him want to smile, but his mouth is too stuffed full of fat cock to allow it. Instead he hums, sucking just a little harder, demanding his reward.

Any other day Jai would try to hold off, savour every nuance, but tonight Logan is so sweet Jai can not deny them both. He slides his fingers into Logan’s hair so he can feel his boy’s jaw working and gives in to his desires, flooding Logan’s mouth with a week’s worth.

It’s too much for Logan to take in one swallow, some spills over his chin, some seeps back down Jai’s shaft and over his fingers, the rest goes down his throat. He swallows and then he licks, cleaning up the rest, nuzzling happily against Jai’s skin. “Hmm, so good,”

Jai growls lowly, Logan is tickling again with those licks, but he’s smiling too. He slumps onto his back, his whole body limp but buzzing delightfully, “Thanks, Logan, that was awesome.”

When he’s sure that he’s cleaned up sufficiently, Logan tugs Jai’s shorts back into place and slithers his way back up his body, he looks a little smug when he meets Jai’s gaze. “Of course it was, I did it,” he grins. “I love your piercing,”

“I love that you love my piercing,” Jai replies, using a hand at the back of Logan’s head to pull him in for a kiss. It’s salty and his lips are swollen and Logan’s hardness is pressing on Jai’s hip and any thought that his arousal is gone is a lie. Jai moans, rolling them onto their sides, still seeking his release in Logan’s mouth, and brings his hand down the boy’s side. When they eventually part he huskily tells Logan, “Want you to come too … tell me how.”

Logan won’t deny he’s hard, that he wants relief, but he’s not ready, not in the right head space right now. He shakes his head, brings his fingers up to trace the line of Jai’s lower lip with his forefinger. “No, not now, not yet,” he whispers.

Jai almost sobs with the unfairness, assuming that it has something to do with Logan’s _work_ , he wants to give him so much. Instead he nods, agreeing that they will go at Lo’s pace and if that means not going any further right now then that’s what he will do. “When you’re ready.” Jai settles back and pulls Logan into a hug.

Logan lays there for a few minutes, then he tips his chin up. “So...strawberries and marsh mallow?” he teases, softly. “they’d be kinda awesome right now,”

~*~

Some time later, maybe a couple of hours, Jai neither knows nor cares, he feels Logan shiver in his arms. The fire has all but died out and the food is gone and it’s time to close up the house. “Are you still hungry? I can make us some toasted sandwiches and a cuppa,” he murmurs, nuzzling Logan’s ear from behind.

“Yes please,” Logan’s eyelids are getting heavy, he’s tired, and so relaxed in Jai’s arms. “Do I have to move hmm?”

“Well, we kinda have to go inside …” Jai makes quick work of packing what little is left of the food into the bag then stands. “C’mon, up you get,” he tells Logan gruffly, helping the boy up then gathering all the sandy pillows and blankets, “but wait here.”

Logan pouts, his shoulders rounded with weariness. “Okay,” he murmurs, toeing at the sand around the remains of the fire.

Jai dumps the stuff into the laundry at the back of the garage, not much caring that it’s dirty but knowing he might not see it again if he leaves it out on the sand. He then walks quickly back to Logan, smiling as he approaches, and scoops his boy up into his arms, “Hey gorgeous.”

Logan laughs at that, surprised and delighted, he wraps his arms around Jai’s neck. “I’m gorgeous huh?” he nuzzles into Jai’s neck, closing his eyes.

“Yes you are.” Jai feels Logan getting heavier as he carries him back through the garage and up the stairs to the living room, he deposits his sleepy boy on the lounge then closes all the doors before heading for the kitchen and making a couple of cheese and tomato sandwiches. Logan is snoring lightly when Jai sets the plate down. “Hey, baby,” he gently brushes Logan’s hair back from his face, “you awake?”

“NoSir...” Logan slurs out, more asleep than not. He turns his head, his lips seeking out those fingers to press a tiny kiss to the tips.

Jai’s cock flexes rudely in his shorts, he closes his eyes for a moment to will away the memories, it’s more difficult when Logan is all sleepy sexy. “Lo, it’s Jai,” he brushes the hair further back and less gently, hoping to wake Logan, “can you sit up?”

Lifting his eyelids, Logan stares hazily at the man in front of him. He blinks and sighs, pushing up into a half crumpled sitting position. “M’up,” he manages a nod. “You called me ‘Lo’,” he points out, punctuating the statement with a yawn.

Jai can only assume that Logan is still mostly asleep, “It’s your name,” he gently takes Logan’s chin in his fingers and turns his head to face him, “Logan. It’s me, Jai, I made you a sandwich.”

“My name’s Logan,” Logan nods, and he gifts Jai a smile. “I know who you are, lovely man, but only my most favorite people call me ‘Lo’,” he qualifies as he rubs at his face. “Hmm, I’m hungry,”

He has to know so as Jai passes over the plate he asks casually, “Am I allowed to call you that?”

Logan picks up the sandwich and nibbles the edge - seeming to think it over. Then he nods. “Yeah, you can call me Lo,” he decides, turning big blue eyes on Jai.

Jai sighs, unaware that he was so tense, and sags back into the cushion next to Logan. He lays his arm along the back of the sofa, fingers tangling in the hair at the back Logan’s neck. “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

A small shrug and Logan murmurs, “You earned it,” And he has, all this attentiveness, his respect of the boundaries Logan set out.

Jai leans over and kisses Logan on the temple, like you would kiss a child, and he is by the tenderness he feels. Sitting here in the quiet it suddenly occurs to Jai that at some point tonight he has started to think of Logan as _his_ boy and he sits back instead of closing in to hold him. “Are you right here for a minute? I just want to check that the guest room is okay.”

There’s a moments hesitation, as Logan weighs up how he feels about what he’s about to offer. Then he tilts his head to look up at Jai. “May I sleep with you?” he asks softly.

“Sleep?” Jai suspects Logan means exactly that and there’s some doubt in Jai’s mind that he can control himself.

Logan nods as he takes a bite from his sandwich, his eyes never leaving Jai’s face. He’s starting to read the other man, and he can see some conflict there.

He wants to say yes, heart and soul, but Logan trusts him and Jai does not want to jeopardise that. “Maybe it would be best if you … just for tonight,” Jai stammers. “What I mean is that you’re starting to trust me, to get to know me and … I don’t want to … don’t want to do something we might regret. Push further than we should.” He knows he isn’t articulating his point but it’s the best he has right now.

Swallowing his mouthful, Logan nods. “Okay, I’ll use the spare, and thank you for being honest with me,” And whilst Logan is grateful, he’s also disappointed, he’s already discovered he likes it in Jai’s arms. The man makes him feel safe - and more important - treasured, something Logan can’t ever recall being made to feel, by anyone, ever.

Jai smiles sadly, “No, thank you for understanding.” He takes Logan’s free hand, stroking the back of it, “I really want this to work, and if that means not putting myself in a position where I endanger that then I will. I want to sleep with you Logan, more than anything, but I want that in both meanings of the word.”

“I know, and ordinarily, I’d be okay if things went that way - but I’m aware I don’t want you seeing me naked right now, so it’s a risk I’m not going to take,” Logan leans in and presses a kiss to Jai’s cheek. “Soon, okay?”

“Soon.” Since Logan seems more aware than he was a little while ago there is something Jai wants to ask him, “You know that big job I’m working on, the one in San Francisco? I have to go up there later this week and they’re expecting me to bring someone along, as my date …”

Confused as to why Jai is mentioning this to him, Logan nods, “Okay,” _and..._

“Would you come with me please?” Jai is almost blushing, it feels like he’s asking Logan on a first date.

“Me?” Logan pulls back a little. “You want to take me on a business trip? Why would you want to do that?” He puts the plate with the remains of the sandwich on the coffee table.

“I want to be with you.” It’s not exactly the whole truth, most of it, but Jai owes the whole to Logan, “These guys are gay, if they weren’t I may not have asked you but I know it won’t be an issue so …” he shrugs.

“Even so Jai, look at me? I look underage for fuck sake, and what do we tell them when they ask how we met, and what I do for work? I can’t hold my own around smart people like that,” Logan folds his arms around himself.

“I’m only six years older than you, I’m used to my age being against me and I don’t care that you look so young, you’re beautiful.” He reaches for Logan’s hand, pulling it out and opening him up, “We met at a club where you work, and you can definitely hold your own, you deal with all sorts of people every day and I’d lay odds on that a lot of them are very tricky to talk to.”

“You really think I won’t fuck it up for you?” Logan isn’t convinced, “I don’t even have the kind of clothes to wear to meet people like that,”

“Yes I really think that you won’t fuck it up for me,” by now Jai has both of Logan’s hands in his, “I trust you and you are... you are well disciplined, with your training.” He holds Logan’s stare for a moment then adds, “And don’t worry about clothes.”

“Yeah I guess there is that,” He forgets sometimes, how much his training has equipped him to deal with different people and different situations. “So...I’ll be your boyfriend?” he turns his gaze on Jai.

Jai nods after a brief mental breath, “Yes, you’ll be my boyfriend,” he hadn’t realised until now just how much he wants that.

Logan’s forehead creases. “Just for the trip?” he swallows, hesitant and so unsure of himself.

His boy is so quiet that Jai misinterprets what he says, “If that’s what you want.”

The frown deepens and Logan’s shoulders drop a little. “Whatever,” he murmurs. He kinds wishes Jai hadn’t brought this up now, his lovely buzz from the time out by the fire is bleeding away in the face of his insecurities. Tired, droppy and confused he’s feeling uncentred.

Jai feels shot down, he also wishes he didn’t bring it up, “Look, think it over, you don’t have to decide right now.” Then it occurs to Jai that Logan might want to work, he doesn’t have the luxury of taking days off whenever he wants. He opens his mouth with an offer to pay for Logan’s time then snaps it shut when the promise to not treat him like a whore rises to the fore. “I won’t be taking anyone else though, just so you know.”

Logan’s lower lips trembles and before he knows what’s happening he bursts into noisy tears, his legs come up and he curls in on himself. His forehead meeting his knees.

“Fuck!” Jai hisses, thinking it was something he said, that somehow he’s hurt Logan. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t bother with any more thought, just moves in a cradles his boy, “Shh baby, tell me, why are you crying?”

For long moments Logan is too distressed to speak, finally though he uncurls enough to rub his face with his fingers. “M’tired, m’dropping hard, I’m confused about what you want from me,” Logan rambles. “I’m lonely...”

It takes a couple of seconds for Jai to process what Logan is saying, when he thinks back over the evening it all becomes clear, “This is that drop thing you were talking about.” It’s less of a question than a statement and in a heartbeat Jai has decided to risk it all. “Come on, let me take you to bed,” he stands and tugs on Lo’s arm, “to sleep.”

Too tired to care, Logan follows where Jai leads up, head bowed, his sobs tailing off to little hiccups, and to compound it all he’s now got a headache. He hangs onto Jai’s hand like it’s a life line.

One look behind him and Jai is again picking Logan up, cradling him close as he goes upstairs. Not only one flight to the guest room but up a second to his own and when he gets there he sits Logan on the edge and pulls his shirt up over his head. After encouraging Logan to stand Jai pulls the covers back and he pulls Logan’s shorts down. “Lie down baby, I’m just going to get you a glass of water and turn the lights off. I’ll be right back.”

Thankful, Jai left him in his underwear - it seems very important to him that Jai doesn’t see the bruises on his ass - Logan wriggles down under the light covers, rolling onto his side to look at the windows and the night sky beyond. He’s too wiped out to think, he just knows he needs sleep, and there’s no where else he wants to be to do that, than here.

Jai barely wipes a toothbrush over his teeth after filling a glass and hitting the lights is back in his room in under two minutes. He leaves a single light on in the hall so Logan doesn’t get lost if he happens to get up during the night. He strips before climbing into bed, leaving his boxers on, then slides across the king size and pulls Logan into his arms, “Goodnight sweet prince,” he drops a tender kiss on his boy’s temple, “may hosts of angels sing you to your sleep.”

Logan’s too distracted in wriggling into Jai’s arms and tucking his face up into his neck to pay much heed to the words, but the tone bleeds through his sleepy brain and he presses a kiss to Jai’s pulse point.

END

 

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	10. The Morning After

Players only, backdated to early August, 2014.

 

Jai’s arm tightens around the warm body in his arms and his morning wood presses into the crease of the warmer ass at his front. He nuzzles into the short hair, sucking a tender kiss into the soft skin under an ear. Jai wants more, he wants this body to open up and accept him in …

Until his eyes flicker open and the, now obviously male, body tenses in his embrace and Jai immediately relaxes his grip and starts to pull back.

Logan had woken the moment he’d felt Jai push his hard dick up against his ass, not just because he’s not ready to go there yet, but because his ass is sore, the meat of his buttocks criss crossed with caning welts. The space of a breath later and Jai is pulling away, obviously aware of his action and the resistance in Logan’s posture. Without thought Logan reaches up for the arm still across his front, his fingers curving around Jai’s forearm. “Hey, don’t go,” his voice still sleep rough is hardly more than a whisper. “Hold me,” he entreats.

Jai doesn't move back, he holds his body, his hardness, away from Logan, "I don't want to hurt you," he whispers.

Those words move something inside Logan, he carefully turns around, so he’s facing the other man and snugs his face up into Jai’s neck, snuggling in, pressing close. “You won’t,” he returns, his fingers pressing against sleep warm skin. “I like you holding me,”

But Jai does want to hurt Logan and he wants that hurt to be deep and long and beyond that, he wants the hurt to be all his. Obviously his still sleepy brain and his morning hardness are conspiring and Jai has to fight his urges anew. He keeps his hands high, up around Logan’s shoulders, but tugs the boy’s arm over his chest and tangles their fingers, “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” _mostly._ He doesn’t add that he woke up twice when he rolled onto his back and his ass woke him up. He likes however the smell of ‘bed sleepy’ Jai - and he snugs just a little closer. “I’m glad you changed your mind,”

“I couldn’t leave you like that,” Jai wants with all his body to pull Logan onto him and have at the boy, instead he holds tight, keeping both of them right where they are. “How are you now?”

“I’m fine, it was just drop and tiredness making me over emotional,” Logan murmurs, “Sleep always helps,” _Waking up with you has helped._

“Are you hungry?” Jai isn’t especially but he’ll take anything to get his mind off his pants, “I can cook us bacon and eggs or if you’re up for it we can go for a swim?”

“Coffee?” Logan pulls back to look up at Jai, his expression hopeful. “Please? And may I take a shower?” he blinks slowly, unaware of how flirtatious, that looks on him.

“Coffee I can do,” Jai sighs, relieved that he will only have to cope with seeing Logan’s face tipped up and looking like he needs to be fucked for a few more minutes before he can hightail it to the kitchen and get a handle on his desire. “There’s towels on the shelf in the en suite,” he indicates the door which is obvious anyway, “new toothbrushes in the second drawer and if there’s anything that you need but can’t see it’s probably under the sink.” Jai’s eyes flick down to Logan’s lips and quickly away as his own darts out to wet the dryness.

Now he’s more alert, Logan can see the not so subtle signs that Jai is struggling with him being in his bed. He pulls away, and pushes up, to sit - gingerly - on his ass. “Thank you,” he murmurs, finding himself conflicted. On one hand he’s not ready to let Jai have him - Logan, not Wade, and on the other he’s starting to feel the pull of attraction himself - he likes how Jai feels when he’s pressed up against him, all hard lines, fit, and just....big. He also loves how the other man smells, but most of all he’s being seduced by the care and attention he’s being showered with.

Jai waits where he is, unsure that he can actually stand yet and already missing Logan’s warmth, it took everything in him not to insist on a morning kiss. Seeing the tension in Lo’s back he adds, “And if you need anything for pain there’s Tylenol in the second drawer as well.”

Logan turns his head to look down at Jai, and if there’s tension in his own body, he can see a different type in Jai’s. “It’s bothering you isn’t it?” he asks softly.

He would lie if he thought Logan wouldn’t see straight through him, “Yeah,” but Jai has no right, yet, to ask for it to stop.

“Is it better I don’t come to you wearing marks in future? Or would you rather see them, and face it?” He twists a little, so he’s turned sideways on, rather than having his back to Jai. “I need you to be honest with me,”

Jai huffs, he doesn’t want to be honest with himself let alone Logan, but he knows the old saying ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’. “I want to see you wearing my marks,” he rises onto his elbow and levels a guileless gaze at Logan, “and only mine.”

Logan’s eyes close for a moment. He’d been warned this would happen. “That wasn’t on offer, and you know that’s not possible,” he states softly. Then his lashes lift and he meets that gaze. “At some point, Logan will wear your marks, but Wade has to wears others,” he lifts his shoulders as if to say: _And that’s all there is._

“I know,” he swallows any excuses, Logan deserves better than ultimatums and Jai isn’t going to be the one giving them, “but I don’t have to like it.” Pushing aside the sheet and his own discomfort Jai moves next to Logan and takes his hand, “I would rather put up with their marks than not see you,” he tells Logan quietly as he raises the boy’s hand to his lips.

“Okay,” Logan nods, shivering when Jai’s lips play over his skin. “Just remember, they get Wade...you get me,”

“I’ll remember,” without permission Jai leans in and presses his lips to Logan’s, vowing that one day his boy will not have to use that other name.

More than ready, more than willing, Logan opens his mouth to Jai’s kiss, one hand comes up to slip around Jai’s neck and keep him there as he offers himself up with a soft sound of need.

Whatever waning there might have been in Jai’s arousal is gone with that one small sound, he rears up and lays Logan down on the bed, one hand in his hair to bind their mouths and the other under Logan’s back to hold him up to Jai’s chest. A low rumbling moan builds as Jai’s cock brushes his boy’s hip.

Hands move over hot, muscular skin, Logan’s fingers seeking out sensitive spots, rubbing, scratching, kneading. He sucks on Jai’s tongue, demanding more, his own body coming alive under such a sensual assault.

The longer this goes on the more relaxed Jai becomes and the further he pushes, he will take all that he can get from Logan until he is told he can’t have more. He has one leg over one of Logan's and is grinding into the firm muscles while he continues to plunder his boy’s mouth, wide hands clasping him tightly.

Soon enough, Logan is pushing at Jai’s shoulder, needing breath, needing to pause...and when the man breaks the kiss, pulling back, his brow furrowed, Logan finds he wants this, right now. “Yes...but this is me and you, and there is no kink, no power play, you understand?” he asks, his cheeks flushed, his lips kiss swollen.

Jai almost growls with frustration, but it brings a smile to his face, “Can’t you just let me ravish you?” he teases. The colour rising on Logan’s cheeks and chest just increases Jai’s need to taste, he kisses Logan’s chin where the short stubble scrapes his lips then moves down his neck, sucking and licking and tasting.

“Um...yeah...I just meant you could have sex with me, if that’s what you wanted,” Logan’s tilting his head to allow Jai more access, cos damn that feels so fucking good. His fingers dig into the meat of the other man’s shoulders as his arousal climbs.

Taking Logan’s lips again Jai growls, he wants to have sex alright but Logan doesn’t sound like he needs it. Jai wants Logan to be the one asking and until then he can’t be sure his boy really wants it. He drops his hand to Logan’s thigh and pulls it gently until they are laying side by side and Lo’s leg is over Jai’s hip, continuing the searching kisses.

Logan’s a little confused, he’s assumed that once he gave Jai the green light then all bets would be off - and that’s not what’s happening here. Now he’s second guessing himself and wondering if the marks are the problem here and Jai actually doesn’t want to see or touch them. He pulls away from the kissing, his breathing ragged. “S’okay...if you don’t...”

“I do,” Jai rolls onto his back bringing Logan with him, acutely aware of Lo’s tender ass and with the weight on his cock it swells and flexes, “fuck me, but I do.” His hips surge up as if to prove his point and his hands gentle, sliding to cup Lo’s face as their eyes meet, “It’s gotta be more than _me_ wanting to.”

Logan’s brow wrinkles, he can feel Jai’s erection, he can feel his own. “I said yes,” he whispers, “Just not any kink...or power...I don’t want that here and now, not from you,”

It’s still not as sure as Jai would like him to be, “You said we could have sex if I want to,” Jai gently punctuates the statement with a kiss, “but we’re only having sex if _you_ want it too.”

“Jesus Jai!” Logan pushes away, trying to find his balance so he can actually climb off where he’s sprawled over the other man’s torso. “Just say so if you can’t touch me because I’m marked up, or whatever other fucking reason there is,”

Jai hangs on so that even though Logan has backed off he can’t actually move away. “I’d have had you the minute you walked in the door last night Lo, but you’re saying that _I_ can have you, if _I_ want you. What about you baby? Do _you_ want it?”

“What do you want me to say?” Logan’s finding he’s fast losing his hard on, something he’d have thought was a clear indication of how into this, how into Jai, he was. “I said yes, after telling you no, I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t want it or at least if hadn’t wanted it, now I’m not so sure...” He’s spent every moment with this man, inching his way forward in unfamiliar territory, and now he’s utterly thrown.

“You need to be sure,” Jai’s erection isn’t going anywhere, “and when you are sure,” his hands do, they caress Logan’s face and sink into his hair, “ then you can tell me you want me.” He will not force Logan and will not take what isn’t freely offered.

Logan’s not sure how some hot making out, ended up here, when clearly they had both wanted sex. “Let me go,” he pleads softly. “Please,”

Very reluctantly but as soon as Logan asks Jai drops his hands to his sides. As Logan moves off him Jai places his hand on Logan’s arm, “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” _Not really..._ Logan stills when Jai touches him again, he’s ready to scoot off the bed and head straight for the relative safety of the bathroom. “You want me to beg for it,”

_Yes_ , “No,” Jai struggles briefly as he sits up, abs crunching, “well yes but that’s not what I mean.” he takes a deep breath, Jai knows he’s not the best at expressing himself so he tries to lay it out as simply as he can, “I want you to want it too. What you said before was that we could have sex if I want, makes it sound like you’re doing it for me and it can’t just be for me. If you do want sex then you have to say _I want to have sex with you Jai_ ,” he can’t stop the little smile that tugs at his lips, “though a little begging never hurts.”

“I did want it, I did want you,” Logan doesn’t return the smile, instead he inches off the bed. “I just didn’t want to use a fucking scene script to tell you,”

“Baby,” Jai’s forehead creases in a frown, any lightness wiped away by Logan’s discomfort, “you asked me not to push but I needed you to tell me straight that it’s what you want.” He moves closer, tentatively catching Logan’s hand, “It’s not a script if you mean it.”

“Okay, I’ll be clearer in the future,” Logan lets Jai take his hand, but he doesn’t return the gesture. His shoulders drop however as he lets his disappointment show. “I haven’t had sex in three years...” And he means someone he chose for himself and for no other reason.

Jai will ask once, “Do you want it now?” Gently, no pressure.

He can’t look at Jai as he shakes his head. The moment’s gone and he’s feeling utterly disconnected from the man whose arms he woke up in. “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be.” Jai stands and wraps his arms around Logan in a purely protective gesture, he’s still hard but keeps that as far away as possible, he sighs and kisses Logan on the head. “Go have that shower and I’ll get the coffee on.”

A mute nod and Logan makes for the bathroom, pushing the door shut behind him. He turns on the shower and only then does he let the tears flow. Cursing himself and his weakness as he hiccups, shoving his shorts off and then stepping under the warm water. He tilts his face up to the stream letting it mingle with his own misery.

As Jai is grabbing his robe from it’s hook he can hear Logan’s soft cries, he’s sure his boy thinks the shower can cover the noise and it breaks his heart that he might be the cause of it. Jai is torn, the thing he wants most is to go in there and comfort Logan but there is a closed door between them and that was Logan’s choice. His cock is finally behaving itself and as he sees the wet spot their earlier activities created a surge of emotion grips his chest.

Jai drops the robe on the floor and pushes open the bathroom door, he has to stop Logan’s pain - emotional if not physical. The first thing he sees is Logan’s bent head and that is more than he can take. The too dark bruising on his boy’s ass threatens to reignite his lust but the hitch in Lo’s shoulders brings a tear to Jai’s eyes.

“Lo,” he starts quietly, “baby boy,” Jai steps into the spray, “please …”

_Baby boy..._ the endearment jars, simply because it’s something he only ever shared with Joe...a work based thing...and not this, not what ever messed up thing he’s gotten into here with Jai. He backs up against the wall, unused to sharing his discomfort, the raw emotions that sometimes bubble up - he usually holes up in his own space until he has a handle on things again.

“I’m sorry,” Jai begins, not willing to recognise that it might be fear in Logan’s eyes, “we can’t seem to get this right can we?” It’s rhetorical but truthful none the less. “I just hate to know that I’ve hurt you like this, please, let me hold you?”

And right there, Logan finds his anger, finds what he needs to protect himself. He brings one hand up and pushes Jai back. “No...you need to back the fuck up,” he takes a breath, his body trembling as he raises his gaze to meet Jai’s. “I came in here for privacy, I came in here for space - and you need to respect that. This isn’t about you needing to feel like the good guy, this is about you respecting me and my boundaries, which right now? You’re not.”

Jai is stunned, his offer of comfort thrown back at him is like a slap, he blinks at the stinging in his eyes and nods, swallowing anything he might have been tempted to say. He backs out of the shower and pulls a towel off the rail before wrapping it around himself and quickly leaving the room.

Logan scrubs himself off rather furiously, angry at himself for screwing this up - over sex for fuck sake, the one thing he always thought he was an expert in - and for Jai for needing to play the knight-in-shining-armour. Logan is no pure damsel that needs rescuing - he’s a damaged, paid for fuck.

When he’s clean, has brushed his teeth and toweled off his hair, he pulls on his clothes. Unsure what to do next he’s still aware that he needs to face Jai - one way or the other. He heads downstairs, the living room is empty so he makes for the kitchen - and sure enough there’s Jai - lost in thought it appears.

His step onto the timber floor alerts Jai to Logan’s presence, he wanted to get lost in the view like he does so many other mornings but today he’s hyper-aware of every sound. “Do you want anything? Food, coffee?” he asks flatly fully expecting that like himself, Logan isn’t interested in anything.

A deep breath and Logan makes himself move, toward the coffee machine he sees on the countertop. “Coffee, like I said earlier,” the words sound even enough as he starts flipping switches. “Then I’ll leave if that’s what you want,”

Frowning Jai slides off the stool, “Stop, that’s not the way it works,” he tuts and reaches around Logan to flip one of the switches on the machine back. He can feel the heat of Logan’s body, smell him and damn it stirs low in Jai’s belly. _Am I really going to let him go without a fight when this is what he can do without even touching me?_ “I don’t want you to leave,” Jai adds quietly.

“No, I didn’t think you did,” Logan moves away, now he’s opening cupboards, looking for mugs - the act one of asserting himself - in this, Jai’s space. “I won’t be coming to see you straight from work like that again. My head is screwed up, subspace, drop call it what you like, it distorts things,”

Jai nods, agreeing, “That’s probably best,” it’s bad enough for Logan but Jai himself didn’t deal well with the knowledge that another man marked what he is fast (too fast) thinking of as his. “I’ll rely on you for that.” He is still standing close and still wants nothing more than to draw Logan in, instead Jai crosses his arms, “And I do want you, very much,” he adds softly.

“So it appears,” Logan sets two mugs down and turns around to face the other man. “I’m trying to figure out exactly how you want me? Because at the moment all I’m getting is possession vibes, which I don’t do. Wade is the boy for that. Me? I’m not a possession. I’m a person. Less than perfect, damaged, but still a fucking person,”

“Then you’ve got to stop talking about Wade,” Jai isn’t usually one to speak without thinking but that is a surprise to him when it comes out, and it continues, “you want me to treat you different you have to stop reminding me that I can pay for it … and so can anyone else.” He’s tempering his voice because he’s angry at the situation and himself, not Logan.

“It’s what I am Jai. You knew that.” Logan crosses his arms. “And I can stop talking about work, pretend it doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t change the fact you want me in a way that those men what me. As a possession. You’ve respected the obvious ground rules I laid out, but not the more subtle ones - if I seek time on my own, respect that. Don’t come barging in like you’re trying to save me...I’m not yours to save - and it might not be about you.” he stops scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I’m very used to taking care of myself,”

He’s right, in one way, Jai wants him, all of him, but Logan isn’t giving anything. “I was offering you comfort, in the shower, I heard you crying …” He’s hit with a wave of hopelessness, it seems that just when Jai thinks he’s got a handle on them it slips away. Maybe it was too much to hope for.

“I didn’t ask for, or seek comfort,” Logan blows out a long breath. “Maybe I’m just too used to how my life is to share myself any differently,” He leans back against the unit edge. “Maybe we’re too different?”

Jai’s heart breaks, he feels the pain almost physically as his chest tightens, “Maybe we are,” his reply is barely a whisper. And it’s a lie, the more he sees of Logan the more he sees himself ten years ago and the more _maybe_ in the equation is him wanting to save Lo the same struggles that Jai himself has been through.

If he needs to care then _maybe_ Jai is better off the way he was before. Maybe he should just get a dog and get sex where he can.

He moves back to the stool and sits, staring out the window again.

Logan watches Jai - but makes no move toward him, or even to speak to him. After all he’s neither asked for or invited comfort - instead Logan pours coffee and then slides one mug over the counter to Jai before taking his own out onto the deck.

Leaving the mug right where it sits Jai makes his way up to his room, he’s been uncomfortable and wet, he tosses the towel toward the bathroom and drags an old t-shirt and shorts from a drawer in his closet. He takes longer than necessary, unsure if he hopes to see Logan still there when he comes down the stairs.

Logan’s finished his coffee, and he’s gone looking for his sneakers, with Jai having disappeared he figures he has no reason to stay. So once his shoes are on he intends on grabbing his bag and leaving.

Logan walks through the door to the stairwell just as Jai steps onto the landing, one look at the boy and Jai doesn’t want him to leave. “Lo …” but Jai has no idea how to stop him and even if he’d want to. His eyes are shiny and so sad when they meet Logan’s deepest blue.

He looks up when Jai speaks his name, but it’s what he sees in his face, his eyes, that have the breath catching in his throat. He steps up, cups the side of Jai’s face, his own brow furrowed. “Oh Jai...you stupid, stupid man,” he murmurs shaking his head. Then he lifts up onto his toes and presses a kiss to his mouth.

It takes everything in Jai not to wrap his arms around Logan, instead he gently rests his hands on Logan’s waist and accepts the kiss. “I don’t know what to do,” he says helplessly.

Fifteen or so minutes later, Logan’s made fresh coffee and there is toast on a plate in front of them. He wasn’t prepared to talk anymore without them having had something in their bellies. He sits on the couch beside Jai, leg tucked up under him, mug of sweetened coffee in his hands.

He eyes the man sitting across from him. It’s clear now, that Jai is so much further into this ‘relationship’ of theirs than he himself is. Which to his mind just adds a whole new layer of complicated to an already difficult situation, still, now Logan - for reasons he has yet to fathom - is more reluctant to walk away. He’s only ever had one other person look at him like that - three years ago - a very short, intense and bitter sweet love affair - one Logan treasures as the only decent relationship he’s ever had.

“Eat,” he urges softly. “Please,”

Jai was one of the few kids he knew growing up that didn’t like Vegemite, he still doesn’t really, but right now he’s craving it, a bottomless sense of homesickness is making his head heavy and his mouth dry. He chews on some toast and washes it away with coffee when what he really wants is tea.

There are so many things he needs to say, so much that if he could just put it into words Logan would be able to understand him and there would be some outcome. Yet nothing comes out. It’s strange to him that their positions have reversed since last night, he is as unused to being cared for as Logan is and that itself is enough to rock him. “Thank you,” is as much as he can manage.

“I have no where else to be today. I can be here with you, talk this out, if that’s what you need,” Logan offers quietly. “I’m less inclined to just walk away than I was just thirty minutes ago Jai. I like you, even if you make my head spin and push me into emotional situations that I had left well alone,” He manages a twisted up, slightly sad smile there. “I like how you make me feel special, worthy of something more than being Wade,”

“You are,” Jai’s eyes meet Logan’s, “so much more than that.” He has a momentary insight into Logan, a premonition if you will, that he will one day help a lot of people but it fades before it can settle into his consciousness. “And I’d like you to stay and talk,” Jai needs another sip of coffee to wet his tongue, “but where do we start?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s time for some brutal honesty on both our parts? We’ve nothing to lose at this point do we? Then at least we can see if there is something we can work with?” Logan unfurls his leg and selects a piece of toast from the plate, nibbling on the corner as he watches Jai. He can’t stand seeing the other man looking so fucking dejected.

“I’ve tried to be honest but as good as I am at talking I can’t seem to say what I need to tell you.” Jai shrugs.

“Maybe trying that when we’re in bed, or I’m in your arms, or whatever is not the time and place? Brutal means just that Jai, not dressing it up, the plain truth...” Logan licks crumbs from his lower lip.

Jai nods, that makes a lot of sense, “Okay, honestly, I want you … you know that,” he smiles wryly and it feels odd. “I don’t want to abuse you, I want to see you carried away on the pain like those nights when we were first together. You tell me that you don’t want it to be Wade but I saw _you_ and I’m both drawn to that and afraid that you’ll hate me for it.”

“Thing is, you decided you wanted me off those scenes, off that sex, I know what your end game is, you want me to submit to you, so you can have a kink based relationship with me. And I’ve been naively trying to let you in, and show you _me_ , Logan, and what I need is different to what the boy you met and fucked needs and wants.” He tosses the remains of the toast on the plate and sits back, slumping into the couch. “Keeping those parts of myself separate is a coping mechanism - and you have to really understand that before you can see the two sides of me,”

"You really believe that?" Jai counters, "I've seen subspace and I know what it looks like. If we're being honest here it was more than an ordinary scene for you." But that isn't the core of Jai's argument, "And that isn't all I want from you either."

“Of course it was, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, we have chemistry.” Logan’s happy to admit that. “And if it’s not just a kink thing you want...what else do you want from me?” This is where he’s sure they are miscommunicating. He thought Jai wanted a relationship with him, and Lo had been trying to let Jai ‘date’ him - which clearly went epically wrong the moment sex reared it’s ugly head.

“It isn’t all but it _is_ part, they aren’t separate for me.” Jai takes a deep breath and looks at Logan, “I meant what I said before, I want it all. You don’t think we have that much in common but the more I see, the more I know of you? The more obvious our likenesses. Yeah I fell for the perfect sub and who wouldn’t? But you have to hear me too when I say that it’s more … Much more than just the kink. I never wanted a twenty-four-seven thing, who actually lives like that?” Jai’s face is screwed up in wonder. “You’re intelligent and canny aside from beautiful … fuck … You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“But I’m a sex worker, and despite your protestations otherwise, I _am_ damaged Jai,” Logan curls up a little. “I had a fucked up childhood, seriously fucked up, I have no frame of reference for a ‘normal’ relationship. I’ve used my body to get by since I was 15, there are things I say and do, you are not going to like,”  
  
“Everyone is damaged Lo,” Jai wants to reach out to him again but holds back, “I had a fucked up childhood too and I know you’re a sex worker,” he counters each argument in turn, “you’re not hiding anything from me and I appreciate that. And if you can tell me what a normal relationship is then I’ll truly be enlightened.” Jai finally sits up straight and leans slightly toward Logan, “Now tell me something I don’t know.”

A soft laugh and Logan shakes his head and looks down into his lap, “No, I’ve shared enough for now, you know the most important shit,” He picks at a crumb from his shorts. “You can’t smother me, you can’t expect more than I give you. Earlier? That busting in to ‘save me’, you can’t do that shit. I am not a child to be coddled and fussed over. I am not your submissive to get territorial over. All I am is your ‘nearly boyfriend’.”

"I apologise for that, for not respecting your privacy, but I have a protective streak for you that's a mile wide... And it's me I've been protecting you from." Jai borrows Logan's 'nothing to lose' attitude and keeps going, "It's all so delicate between us, I'm afraid my every move is going to fuck it all up and it seems my fears were warranted. I wanted so much for it to be at your pace that I gave over to you and second guessed everything. You asked me not to push you and I took that too far."

“Just relax, just relax and be you Jai,” Now the smile curving his mouth is for Jai. “Trying too hard to be Mr Perfect, whether that’s all these lovely things you’ve been doing, or that insane pushing to check I wanted sex back there, you don’t need to be that full on,”

Jai is surprised to find himself blushing and even more surprised to be returning Logan’s smile. “I’m out of practice at not fucking up.”

“Apparently so,” Logan teases. “Are you okay now?” he asks a moment or so later, the tension seems to be leaving the other man, and that allows Logan to relax a little more. .

“Better, thank you,” Jai sighs, feeling like he actually has a bit more of a handle on things, “but we’re not done talking are we?” He lifts his cup and grimaces as the mouthful he’s taken is cold, Jai sets it on the table and returns to Logan, “We need to talk about when you’re marked up like that.” Jai is far from comfortable with this discussion but it has to happen.

“Okay,” He nods, his thumb rubbing along the outside of the mug he’s still holding. “You need to tell me what you’re comfortable with, or not,” But for Logan head space is just as important, and he’s learned a valuable lesson in the last 12 or so hours.

“I don’t want to know about it, you can call it jealousy since that’s as close as I can get to what I feel when I see it or when you refer to yourself as Wade,” Jai holds up a hand, “it’s not denial, I understand you need to work and that is your job but it’s apparent that I don’t handle it well when I’m reminded. So I guess that means too if you don’t want me to fuss over you after then … Well just tell me you can’t see me for a few days because I will want to fuss,” he almost smiles at the last statement.

He lets Jai’s words sink in for a few quiet minutes, playing over in his mind the potential pitfalls of such an arrangement, but eventually his chin comes up and he nods. “I don’t get scenes like that, too often, maybe once every 4 or 6 weeks when I’m this badly marked, mostly it’s innocuous bruises or sometimes the odd bite mark, do you feel the same way about those?”

Jai shakes his head, “No … except the bites, I mean I don’t get that as a kink, but as long as they aren’t really obvious then it’s okay.” He swallows and shifts a little in his seat until he can reach Logan’s hand, “What do you need from me?”

Jai’s fingers are warm, and Logan offers up his hand willingly. “In what way?” Specifics seem to the key here, no more guessing.

“Well I’m asking you for these, um,” Jai searches for a word for what he means, “concessions? Is there anything that will help you?” His big hand engulfs Logan’s, “If this is a fresh start, and I’m hoping it is, then we both have to be comfortable.”

“I think I stated quite clearly what I have an issue with. You respect my boundaries, and we’ll be fine. Being spoiled with dinner and the beach fire last night...that’s new for me, I like it, it makes me feel special, but it’s also a little uncomfortable too, I’ve not been anyone’s priority before...so yeah..keep that in mind too, okay?”

“I can give you the boundaries if you let me know, like when you need it you say the word and you’ve got it,” Jai’s smile widens and he dips his head shyly, “but I can’t promise that I won’t spoil you, that’s something you’ll have to get used to.”

Logan laughs, “Oh I’m not asking for you not to do it, hell no, do I look stupid? I just mean...be aware I may not always react like you expect, if something is really overwhelming for me.” He sobers up a little here. “Until I started working at the club, people didn’t treat me very well, it’s all I knew. The club, the staff, my colleagues have been the first experience I’ve had of being respected, listened to, cared for - and for a long time I struggled with allowing them to, some of that might bleed over still,”

“I understand,” Jai smiles, Logan’s laugh is the sweetest thing about this morning, “but will you promise to try and let me?”

“Do your worst,” Logan grins. “There’s a challenge,” he puts his mug down finally, and then scoots closer, close enough he just has to raise up a little to press a kiss to Jai’s mouth.

“So just to be clear,” Jai grins, a hand dropping to Logan’s thigh, “we’re starting over and this is going to be dating like normal people?”

“Once we figure out what normal people do, yeah,” Logan winks, the corner of his mouth tilted up. “Our version of ‘normal people dating’,”

Jai relaxes properly for possibly the first time in weeks, a tension he hadn’t realised was making his head ache drains from his neck and shoulders and he slumps. “That’s pretty much what I wanted from the start,” Jai pulls Logan gently, encouraging him closer, “I’m sorry I got lost somewhere along the way.”

“I think we both did,” Logan snuggles in, there’s one thing he can’t deny, he likes how it feels to be wrapped up in this man’s arms. “Hmm, I have a boyfriend,” he murmurs his eyes closed his smile smug. “A hot, smart, rich boyfriend, clever me,”

“Me too.” It’s Jai’s turn to initiate, he pulls back and draws Logan further into his arms where he captures his mouth in a consuming kiss. “Hot .. smart … clever,” he murmurs against Logan’s lips before pressing in again, this time his tongue searches out his boyfriend’s unique taste.

And for once, Logan gives himself up - completely - no barriers, no artifice. He winds one hand around Jai’s neck and hums his approval into Jai’s mouth.

Jai himself is in the unusual position of not being immediately aroused by Logan’s submission, it seems there is a real change in their dynamic. After several long minutes Jai has had his fill for the time being and pulls away. “There’s just one more thing …” he starts, seriously, to tease Logan, “about next weekend, will you come?”

Logan blinks - his brain taking a few to catch up, when all he can think about is the way his lips tingle from the kisses. “You really want me there?”

Jai nods, and he has to get a little serious for a minute, “Can I say something without you getting upset?” A quick frown crosses his face, “I probably shouldn’t ask you that but I will ask you to hear me out and consider what I have to say before you react okay?” Jai waits for acknowledgement from Logan before he continues, “I know that I will be taking you away from work and if it’s going to be difficult financially for you to take a few days off then I am willing to pay you. Not like if I was paying at Citadel, but what you’d lose by not being there.”

“You know that part about not fussing, and respecting my boundaries?” Logan rolls his eyes. “I’m entitled to vacation time, or I can simply swap out my shifts with someone else, besides, I make good money, a few days won’t affect my ability to meet my bills,” Not even close, he’s paid very well indeed, he just chooses to stash as much of it as he can in savings.

That went better than Jai thought, he was worried about stepping on Logan’s toes and despite his privileged upbringing he’s painfully aware that most people struggle to make ends meet. “Vacation time, what’s that?” Jai jokes and smiles, “That wasn’t fussing, I just don’t want you to compromise on my account, I don’t have to worry about money but you do.” He shrugs hoping that explains the offer.

This is putting Lo’s back up, but he’s trying hard to not let that show, aware it’s Jai and his clumsy way of trying to ‘take care’. “I do?” he returns, his brows high.

There’s an edge to Logan all of a sudden and Jai sees his misstep and also the opportunity to stop another disagreement, “You don’t do you?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, “I’m sorry, I assumed and I shouldn’t have.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Logan’s tone is dry rather than pissed. “I’ve been taking care of myself for as long as I can recall, you _can_ safely assume that I can make my own judgements on what I can and cannot do, financially or otherwise,”

Jai nods again, chastised. “Will you at least let me buy you a suit? As a gift, you did say you didn’t have anything to wear …”

The eye roll is epic. “Yes, you can buy me a suit,” he grins. “And matching shoes, deal?”

“Deal,” Jai replies smiling, “do you think the shops on Rodeo will be open today?” He knows they will and he’s keen to take Logan out if that’s what he wants, to stay would be a temptation Jai would struggle to refuse, best to be out in public and let the sex happen when it feels right.

“I would think so yes,” Logan grins, “But I’ll only let you take me shopping if you promise me a huge lunch, I am so fucking hungry,”

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	11. Rodeo Drive

Players only, backdated to early August, 2014.

 

 

Logan tidied himself up before allowing Jai to take him out, well away he’s in three quarter shorts and a tee. But then they roll up to the parking lot in Jai’s gorgeous BMW and he finds himself feeling a little more comfortable with the idea.

“So, where to first?” He glances up at his...boyfriend, the thought makes him smile, makes him happy, and it shows.

“Well, I wear Armani and St Laurent,” Jai climbs out and comes around to the passenger side to open the door for Logan, risking a glare but thinking what the hell, “for you though maybe something a bit more trendy? Tom Ford, or Zegna?”

“Armani, of course you do,” Logan laughs, letting Jai do his ‘gentleman’ thing. “I’m going to let you choose, this is your turf and your treat,”

“Okay but we’re hitting Guess too, if you’re taking me out to dance then I need something other than suits and board shorts.” Jai is wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans and he’s certain he could find something in his wardrobe but that would mean he couldn’t sneakily buy for Logan too.

Jai locks the car and takes Logan by the hand, “Is this okay?” he asks holding their hands up.

“If it is with you,” the shrug is nonchalant, “I’m not ashamed of my sexuality, but then I’m not a hot shot business man, am I?”

“I’m not ashamed either,” Jai doesn’t feel the need to add anything about his sexuality because this encompasses more than just that.

It takes a couple of hours for them to work their way through Ferragamo, Gucci, Prada and Zegna. Jai has several bags and Logan has tried on a lot of suits, Jai insisting that they also visit Dior and Vuitton before they make a decision. Jai has his own opinion on what looks good on Logan and it’s not clothes. He’s tugging Lo toward another shop when he hears Logan’s stomach rumble and realises his own is also feeling very empty. “You want that huge lunch now?”

“Oh dear god, yes!” Lo’s been enjoying the shopping, the attention, but hell yes, he’s hungry. “Something carby and full of fat,” he grins up at Jai, he’s caught a few people appreciating his...boyfriend, and it felt good, odd, but good to know he’s the one Jai has chosen to shower his attentions on. “If there is such a thing here,”

“Let’s see what 208 Rodeo has, it’s usually good.” It is also the closest to where they are right now. Jai secures them a table outside under the bright umbrellas and orders a beer for himself and a cherry coke for Logan, “Unless you prefer a beer too?”

“No, the coke is perfect,” Logan’s sat beside Jai, rather than opposite him, he wants to be able to touch. “You bought a lot of stuff huh? “ he nods at the bags, wondering how much of it is really for him despite Jai’s protestations otherwise.

“I don’t get to shop very often and it’s mostly suits and shirts when I do,” Jai shrugs, “gotta make the most of it.” He’s pretending to look at the menu and despite being hungry he’s more interested in watching Logan, his bright blue eyes with their long lashes and his soft as silk, flawless skin … “So did you particularly like any of those suits?”

“That really dark blue one in Prada was cool,” Lo nods, shifting in his seat a little. “And the dark grey one from the last place,” He leans in and props his chin in his palm. “What about you? You’re the sugar daddy here,” he winks at Jai to show he’s teasing.

“You start calling me daddy and I’ll have to call you baby and put you over my knee.” Jai’s eyes go wide and it’s comical how he almost chokes on his own tongue, “Fuck, sorry.” And he is sorry but he chuckles anyway.

While Jai is apologising, Logan is struggling not to flush, his mind suddenly full of the memories of the scene with Joe not so long ago - when the much bigger man had indeed spanked him, called him baby and Logan had called him ‘daddy’ - it’d taken him days to get comfortable with it. But Joe had been so fucking cool in helping him frame it into something hot....yeah.

“I did that,” he croaks out, not really caring that here, in public is probably not the best time and space to bring this up. “Once, recently,”

Jai’s jeans tighten involuntarily, it’s not something he ever thought he’d want, being called daddy, but the idea of putting Logan over his knee is very appealing. “Right,” Jai clears his throat, “so, we still haven’t been to Guess and Yves St Laurent is on the other side of that,” he plows on trying desperately to get the image out of his head, “they’ll have Hedi Slimane, that will look great on your long legs … Fuck, that didn’t help,” Jai mutters, grinning.

“Um, food...” Logan’s all flustered too, so he picks up the menu and scans it before slapping it down moments later. “Burger, sweet potato fries,” he announces, his tone determined.

“Burger sounds awesome,” Jai raises his hand and catches the eye of a waitress and orders for them both. He eventually turns back to Logan and has to admit something he’s been trying to ignore, “I think we’re going to have to have sex soon,” Jai tells Logan quietly.

Logan nods, his eyes wide as he meets Jai’s gaze. “Yeah,” he agrees, his own voice soft. His hands are folded in his lap again, fingers laced tight. He doesn’t want to ask - what happens later today, tonight, he doesn’t want to presume.

_Fuck_ , that doesn’t help Jai’s pants situation at all, he takes a gulp of his beer and reaches for one of Logan’s hands, “I haven’t been with anyone else you know, for the last month, unless you count a blow job at Citadel the night you had that leather skirt on,” he’s rubbing circles on the back of Lo’s hand with his thumb, “I liked that by the way.”

“The blow job?” One dark brow is arched in amusement, and he has a flashback to just last night when he’d sucked Jai for the first time. “Most guys do,”

“No, well yes, but it was the skirt I liked,” Jai keeps his voice low, purely for propriety.

“Ahhh, you liked that huh? Well, I don’t crossdress per se, but sometimes requests are made and I’m happy to indulge.” His mouth quirks. “We can put that on our to do list when we’re at that point,”

Jai purposely ignores the reference to Logan’s work as part of his commitment to accept Logan and that as part of him. “We have a to do list?” Jai asks. He doesn’t say any more as the waiter puts down their plates, “Looks good.”

Distracted for a moment, Logan sets his napkin in his lap and busies himself in cutting his burger in half. “Well, I assumed you had one, now we make it ours,” he nods, glancing up to smile at Jai. “You’re telling me there isn’t a list of things you want to do to me?”

“You are a wicked one,” now that he has something else to think about Jai’s able to tame his arousal somewhat and smiles back at his boy. “I don’t have an actual list, though that’s a good idea,” he winks, “but if it’s _our_ list then we both better add to it don’t you think?”

“Oh we will,” The promise is made as Logan brings the burger up and takes a huge bite out of it, silencing any further comment.

Jai is chuckling as he bites into his own burger, the juice running down into his hands, after a few bites he puts it back on the plate and sucks his fingers before grabbing a napkin. “Okay,” Jai’s had a minute to think, “I’m putting Hawaii on the list first.” He knows that Logan meant the list to be sexual but Jai wants it to be more comprehensive.

“Hawaii?” Logan’s shocked enough to talk with his mouth half full, only saving himself by covering his mouth with his hand. “The volcano?” He shakes his head and lowers the burger.

“Yep,” Jai chomps on a fry and nods, “I was serious about that.” He points another fry at Logan, “Your turn.”

“Hmm,” Logan thinks about that as he finishes chewing and swallowing his mouthful. “I want to take you to that diner I told you about that makes burgers even better than these, their malt shakes are the fucking bomb,”

Keeping with the date type theme Jai adds, “And Paella, a good authentic one.”

“Snow, I’d love to experience real, knee deep snow,” Logan admits, picking up his coke and taking a long drink. Then his attention is back on the burger, trying not to let his head spin from all that’s on offer from this lovely man.

“Uh huh,” Jai mumbles around a mouthful, nodding vigorously, “yeah, I love snowboarding, it’s a lot like surfing. Oh!” he holds up a finger and grins, “That’s another one, teach you to swim.” It feels so right to be excited about future plans.

Logan simply smiles, his lips greasy with the meat juices as he slowly, but surely demolishes his burger and empties the bowl his fries came in. When he’s done he wipes his mouth with his napkin and drops back in his seat, his hand on his belly. He looks like a self satisfied teenage boy - all ruffled hair and bright blue eyes.

Jai can’t quite get through all of his and once Logan is done he gives up and pushes the plate away. “Had enough yet?” Jai asks, amused.

A light shrug, “Hey, I’m a growing boy, “ Logan teases. “I may need ice cream later, just so you know,”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jai smiles as he leans over and presses his lips to Logan’s, “what kind of ice cream?”

The kiss lights up Lo’s eyes and his smile is one for Jai, and Jai alone. “Anything except vanilla, obviously,” The tilt of his lips is impish, all the angst and tension from the morning clearly behind him now.

Another kiss is pressed to his boy’s lips and this time Jai adds a swipe of his tongue and a nip to Logan’s plump bottom lip. “I think we need to add some ice cream to our list and I know just where I want to eat it from,” Jai whispers huskily.

The blink is slow, and Logan’s exhale is shaky, because yeah, his dick just kicked up and his belly tightened. “Maybe you can show me later?” the reply is whispered back, heedless of where they are, and who might be watching.

“Yeah,” yet another kiss and Jai too does not care who is around, he tips his head and slides his tongue into Logan’s mouth right there with the world watching. “We still have some shopping to do, and I need to buy a whole bucket of ice cream.”

Lo bites back the ‘yes Sir’ even in teasing he’s aware that right now, it would be a push too far for Jai. Instead he nods mutely, his eyes wide.

Jai sits back, adjusting himself as subtly as possible, he can hide that from the rest of the diners but not from Logan and doesn’t try. “So, let’s see what Guess has,” Jai takes Logan’s hand and doesn’t let go even as he swipes his card to pay for lunch, juggling bags and wallet. “We can drop these in the car on the way past.”

Falling in step with his boyfriend, Logan lets himself be led back to the car, the food has taken that hyper dizzy edge off him, making him more docile, back to that watchful, take-it-all-in demeanor he adopts when he’s somewhere new. He knows they’re being looked at, not because of their sexuality, they certainly aren’t the only fags out on Rodeo today, but he assumes due to their differing looks. Tall, broad and blond, Jai is striking, whereas he is petite dark and lithe...and he looks underage. For once he’s cursing that.

After Jai dumps all his bags into the backseat he closes and locks the car then steps close to Logan and takes him into his arms, dropping a brief kiss onto his lips before taking his hand again. He’s enjoying the taste of Logan in these little moments but he also remembers that Logan wasn’t comfortable with too much. From there they head in the opposite direction to where they’d been in the morning and when they get to the Guess store Jai tells Logan, “Now it’s your turn to choose for me.”

“More fool you,” Logan grins, he pulls Jai straight down the centre of the store to the jeans. “Tight and black...to show off your ass, your legs and....” he winks as he pulls a pair of skinny jeans from the rack. “Yeah...the rest of you,” he finishes as he brandishes the pants. “These,”

Jai chuckles and shakes his head, taking the proffered pants and checking the size, he can’t see his legs fitting into those. “What about shirts and a jacket?”

“Gimme a chance...” Logan is off then, another pair of jeans added to the mix, then tight tees, in greys and blacks, most sleeveless and then after some consideration - a black leather jacket.

“That’ll do to start,” he grins as he starts ushering Jai toward the changing room. “C’mon,”

Jai isn’t usually as enthusiastic about shopping but seeing Logan excited just makes him grin and follow along. Of course he keeps his corporate wardrobe up to date, a couple of new suits each season, so he’s aware of designers and trends but his casual outfits are sadly lacking. Today should see nicely to that. “After you.”

One of the sales assistants cocks a querying brow at Logan, but he waves some clothes in his face. “My boyfriend’s trying these on, okay?” The question posed as if Logan couldn’t give a fuck if the man agrees or not. Then he’s sailing past, Jai in tow to a cubicle.

Grinning, Jai shrugs at the clerk with a ‘what can I do?’ look and lets himself be towed. “We better let that guy have the sale, I’m pretty sure he’s going to want to _help_ us.” He drops his jeans unselfconsciously and finds the tight black pair that Logan seemed to like and pulls them on with some small amount of difficulty, jumping to get them into place and taking care not to get his assets caught in the zipper, Jai’s glad he opted for briefs this morning.

“Too tight huh?” Logan’s leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, pretending he’s not at all interested in how snug the jeans are. Nope. Not a bit. “Take them off,” he waves one hand, and once Jai’s wrestled himself out of them he’s off, back to the sales guy. “Can you find the next size up, my boyfriend’s...a little large,” he winks rather wickedly before returning to Jai. “This is sooo much fucking fun,”

Jai just shakes his head and picks up the next pair, these are a little looser and more to his taste, he likes a little room in the front. “I like these,” he tells Logan, waiting for an opinion.

Not as tight as the first pair, but still way more fitted than the ones he was wearing, Jai looks every shade of hot. Logan nods, “Yeah, I like those too,” His tongue appears, swiping over his bottom lip.

He takes them off and puts them aside, calling it his ‘to buy’ pile in his head. Just then there is a tap at the door and a young man passes Jai the right size in the other jeans, “Thanks.” These ones fit much better, “Yeah, the others were more like CBT,” he adds with a wink at Logan.

“Ugh, I don’t want you damaged,” Logan’s all eyes again - on said package. “Um, yeah, you should have those, two pairs, just in case...yeah,” Hmmmm, Jai in tight black jeans is his new kink.

Jai laughs, “Why? You thinking of tearing them off me?” Tightening in said jeans makes Jai flush and he reaches for a t-shirt hoping to distract them both. “How’s this?”

It’s not helping, the semi naked state of Jai between items of clothing, but somehow Logan gets through the next ten minutes with a modicum of decorum. They end up with two pairs of jeans, and three tee’s, the leather jacket was the perfect too. “Do you need shoes? They had some cool black boots in the window,” Logan’s arms are full as they exit the stall.

“Sure,” Jai probably does need them, again in this his wardrobe is limited - dress shoes and joggers. He sends the salesman off for the right size and turns to Logan, “Did you see anything you’d like? It’s not fair me having a new outfit and you not.” He’s treading that fine line again.

Logan chews the inside of his mouth as he weighs up Jai’s offer. Yeah he had seen a couple of things. “Are you sure?” He shifts from one foot to the other all his earlier cockiness replaced by uncertainty.

Without even looking to see if anyone is around Jai presses a quick kiss to Logan’s lips and nods, “Yes, anything you want.”

“Thank you,” Raising up on his toes he kisses Jai back and then he’s gone, returning minutes later with some dark denim jeans, two tees and a white shirt. “For next weekend,” he says by way of justifying it as he sets them down next to Jai’s clothes.

“Are you sure those jeans are tight?” Jai murmurs lowly into Logan’s ear, his breath ghosting over the shell, “Want to be able to see that lovely ass …” He’d say more but the assistant has returned with the boots and is eyeing them. Jai squares off, daring the man to say anything, and lays his platinum Mastercard on the counter, “That’s for everything.”

Logan finds himself shuffling so he’s half behind Jai - essentially hiding himself from the other man’s gaze. Here he’s close enough to feel the heat from Jai’s body, can smell his cologne. He lets those things take the edge of a sudden burst of self conscious nerves.

Jai signs and adds a tip, smaller than usual but in this case the looks that have been levelled at Logan don’t deserve anything more. Jai hadn’t noticed before but Logan’s need to be protected by him alerted Jai and he glares at the assistant before picking up their bags and heading out. “You okay baby?”

“Yes,” He’s fallen back in step beside Jai now, his hand tucked around Jai’s arm. He glances up, and finds concern in Jai’s face. “Yeah, I’m okay, just...I sometimes think they can see me, you know and judge,” It’s not an easy admission to make, and shows the level of trust he’s already put in Jai to verbalise something he carries with him, but rarely shares.

“Fucking hate people that think they’re better than you,” Jai grouches, “what the fuck do they know?” He covers Logan’s hand with his own and squeezes, “Don’t worry, they know me up here,” Jai nods to the YSL store just ahead, “and no one’s going to be like that. They’re all class, just like you,” he adds as they step through the door.

Logan’s still looking up at Jai, trying to sort out his reaction to Jai’s words when his reverie is interrupted, a sales lady steps up, all smiles - real ones - and greets Jai by name.

“Mr Courtney! How lovely to see you,”

"Lou, good to see you too," Jai replies, smiling.

The smile Logan gifts the woman is hesitant, and you’d be hard pressed to believe this is the sassy, confident ‘Wade’ that Jai had originally met. He presses just a little closer to Jai.

“How can I help you today?” Lou smiles at Mr Courtney’s shy companion.

“For a change it’s not me you can help, this is Logan and we’re here to get him a suit.” Jai rests his hand on Logan’s shoulder, encouraging him out from the shadow, “I was thinking he’d look good in Hedi, do you have something from the new range?”

“Oh yes, I agree,” Lou tells Jai before speaking to Logan, “come with me and we’ll get you some things to try on.”

There is no sign of judgement in her voice or on her face and Jai has little doubt it’s because they want him to continue to spend the kind of money that he has in the past. He takes a seat on a lounge near the fitting rooms and waits, nodding yes at the offer of coffee.

Logan allows the assistant to pull him away, soon enough she’s taking some rough measurements using a tape and then with a bright smile she informs him she has a couple of suits that might just be perfect. She leaves him alone for a few minutes, returning with a shirt, three suits and a tie.

“Here you go, can I suggest the dark blue first? Call me back in if you need help with anything,” She fusses for a few moments, before leaving Logan alone to change.

When Logan appears in the suit it’s all Jai can do to stop himself whistling, instead he winks and smiles. “Looks good, but show me more.”

Logan looks down at himself and back at Jai. He rather likes this one, but he’s not sure if ‘looks good’ means Jai really, _really_ likes the suit, or if he’s a bit ‘meh’, as Ginny would say. “Um, okay,” he nods and shuffles back to the changing room.

After another long five minutes Jai looks up again and this time he has to catch his breath and clear his throat before speaking, “Yeah, that’s the one.” Logan is dressed in charcoal grey with an ivory shirt and patterned grey tie and it’s perfect. Jai stands and approaches Logan, “Do you like it as much as I do?”

It does feel good, the fit is perfect and he likes the colour, though he had argued with ‘Lou’ over the shirt, he’d wanted white, but she had insisted on the slightly less harsh ‘ivory’. Smoothing his hands over the silky front of the jacket he looks up at Jai. “Yeah, I like this one, I especially like how you look at me in it,”

Jai doesn’t take his eyes off Logan while he asks Lou, “Can we please have some shoes too? You better get out of that baby,” he adds in a low voice, “I want to take you home now.”

“Oh!” Logan backs up a step, his mouth opens and closes for a moment, then he dips his chin to hide his flush as he makes for the changing room - he’s all thumbs as he removes the beautiful suit, cursing as he slides it on the hanger and pulls his own clothes back on. He’s not quite ready to admit how Jai calling him ‘baby’ is affecting him, nor will he acknowledge the sneaky thought of how it would feel if ‘boy’ was added to the endearment. Nope, not thinking about that at all.

While Logan is busy Jai speaks quietly to Lou and has her add another shirt and tie to the purchase. He’s restless now, seeing how Logan looked all dressed up has both aroused him and made him more certain of his potential. And more certain that they are doing a positive thing by working it out.

Logan reappears, suit, shirt and tie in hand, all of which are promptly removed from him. He moves toward Jai, eyes only for the other man now, even here, in an unfamiliar environment when he’s usually all eyes taking it in.

“Had enough shopping for today?” Jai certainly has and he hopes that Logan agrees, he smiles when his boy nods and they head for the counter. As Jai expects there is no mention of the total all he does is sign the proffered slip and take the bags from Lou. “Thank you as always, I’ll see you again soon.”

“Goodbye Mr. Courtney.” Lou watches them walk out the door with a small smile on her face, she has never seen anyone else with him but he seems very happy and that pleases her.

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	12. Make It Home.

Players only, backdated to early August, 2014.

 

 

Jai makes short work of the trip home from Rodeo Drive, just one quick stop at the supermarket for beer, bread and the promised ice cream. He’s not sure he will actually get to eat it off Logan, he doesn’t think that he can wait that long to have his boy in his arms and in his bed. This time there will be no misunderstandings.

When the garage door closes behind them Jai turns to Logan, “I’m probably going to need some help getting all those bags inside.”

Logan’s been pretty quiet all the way home, his hands folded in his lap. The sexual tension between them is rising by the minute, and now he’s sure he wants to give himself up to Jai - his body is thrumming with need.

“Yeah, of course,” Logan slides out of the car, “I’m perfectly capable of carrying some bags,” he points out as Jai pops the trunk.

Now that they are away from prying eyes Jai resolves not to hold back from doing what he feels is right, what his desires are telling him they both want. As Logan reaches into the car his pants stretch across his ass inviting Jai’s hand to cup the flexing muscles while his lips settle on the side of Lo’s neck, “You smell good.”

The shiver is a full body one, and his breath hitches audibly. “Jai...” he murmurs, tilting his head a little to allow his boyfriend just a little more room.

Jai takes what is offered, his lips part and his tongue tastes; salty sweat and sweetness. He lays open kisses from just below Logan’s ear to the edge of his clavicle before running his lips along the bone. Sure hands hold Logan’s hips as Jai’s arousal presses in, “Want you, to hold you … baby, please?”

Logan’s bracing himself against the edge of the trunk, his hands pressing hard, his knuckles white. “Take me inside,” _Take me..._ His words are rough, his dick so hard it hurts, and where Jai’s kissing him, his skin is tingling.

“Grab the ice cream,” Jai answers his own voice edgy with need, “the rest can wait.” He watches Lo pick up the bag with trembling hands then closes the boot lid and bends to literally sweep Logan off his feet.

He throws one arm around Jai’s neck, his other hand clutches the ice cream, and he nuzzles his mouth up against the pulse point below Jai’s ear, mirroring the caress he’d just been subjected to. He sucks the skin lightly, nibbling on it, heedless of the journey, but knowing Jai is taking him  
back up to his bed.

One handed Jai opens the freezer door and while Logan is shoving the cold box into the fridge, bag and all, he takes sweet revenge for Logan biting his ear by doing the same.

If it happened just a moment earlier, Logan would have dropped the ice cream on the floor, as it is, he lets go, his mouth open to let out a sound of absolute pleasure. His now free hand on Jai’s neck, his chest, stroking, kneading. Desperate now for Jai, for what’s on offer. “Please...” he pleads, “Please....”

“Don’t have to ask me twice baby,” in less than a minute Jai is up the stairs and gently placing Logan on the bed. He kneels over Logan, strong arms holding himself well above so that when Jai’s lips meet Logan’s that is the only part of them that touches.

Like a spark of electricity, the kiss lights Logan up. A soft mewling noise of need and then his hands are pulling at Jai’s tee, scrunching it up under the other man’s arm pits, so he can draw his nails over the warm, bared, muscular torso below. He feels the muscles dance, Jai inhales sharply, and that response makes Lo even more hungry.

“Fuck,” Jai growls, the noises Logan is making are driving him mad. He nips at Logan’s chin and sucks at his throat in constant motion until he is halted by the neck of Lo’s shirt. Jai sits back and grabs at the hem, “Off …” His need is primal, there is sweet, warm flesh that Jai has to taste, nipples begging to be bit and an ass built for fucking. He can’t remember a time when he _wanted_ so desperately.

The tee is tossed aside, and then Logan makes the same demand of Jai, moment’s later they’re both bare chested and as Jai lowers his mouth for more Lo’s hands are working open the button and zipper of Jai’s jeans and sliding his hand inside to seek out the hard flesh he knows is tucked inside.

Logan’s hand on him is enough to drag Jai’s mouth away, he doesn’t want Logan to stop but if he keeps touching then Jai will come too soon. He moves down Logan’s body, devouring the smooth planes of his chest to the promised nipples then further, his wide tongue swirls around Lo’s navel while quick hands rid Logan of his pants and briefs. With a single flicked glance up to his eyes Jai all but inhales Logan’s hard, leaking shaft and moans with pleasure.

“Ohmygod!Ohfuck!Oh!” Logan’s barely able to keep still, his hands flail for a moment before he settles one on Jai’s hair, the other on the rucked up bed linens. “Hmm, please....please don’t stop...please...”

"But I have to," Jai replies, a playful edge to his gruffness, "so I can do this," placing his hands under Logan's thighs he pushes them up and back and lays his mouth to his boy's sac with as much vigour as he lent to his cock.

The level of noise Logan makes ramps up - when he’s not ‘Wade’ he’s much louder in bed than normal, partly due to the fact he can let all his guards down. “Jai...please....please you’re driving me nuts....please!”

Jai chuckles, he lets off long enough to push his jeans to the floor then his tongue is back, searching for the real prize. He doesn't care that Logan hasn't showered, he can smell his hole and he wants to taste.

“No! Not fair,” Logan wails, his dick is spilling an almost continual stream of clear fluid, it sticks to his skin, smeared across his belly. “Jai!”

That response is music to Jai's ears and he's loving it, he stabs his tongue in over and over as Logan squirms, his big hands pulling those gorgeous, creamy cheeks apart. It isn't pity that finally stops him, it's his own neglected cock bouncing against his belly. "Gonna fuck you now baby," Jai tells his boy before dipping briefly to lap up some of the puddle.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck yes, please...fuck me...please fuck me...” Logan is all grabby hands now he can reach, he even makes a grab at Jai’s hair. “Please....”

“Hold up there tiger,” but Jai is the one growling, Logan’s desperation is heady and aside from fucking him into next week all Jai can think is that he wants so much more of this. He spares a moment, fully aware that Logan needs more than spit to take what Jai will give him, and reaches up to the nightstand for lube and a rubber.

Logan snatches the lube from Jai’s hand, and makes very short work of greasing himself up, all the while he’s watching as Jai unwraps the rubber and rolls it over his cock, the cock Logan wants so fucking bad. He tosses aside the lube and reaches for Jai’s shoulders to pull him in.

If it were up to Jai Logan would still be waiting but apparently there’s something his boyfriend wants and today Jai wants it just as much. He rests his weight on his forearm under Logan’s shoulders and easily lifts Lo’s ass off the bed with the other as his cock finds the dip in Logan’s crease and slides in. “Fuck yes,” Jai groans as the head pops through the ring of muscle and he bites down on Logan’s neck to quell the need to push in to the hilt.

Logan’s hands grab around Jai’s back, the tips of his fingers press in as he bears down, wanting more, wanting it all. “Do it...now, fuck me...fuck me,” The words hissed into Jai’s ear. He wraps his legs around Jai’s hips, his heels urging Jai on as much as the rest of him. “I. Will. Not. Break.”

Jai takes Lo at his word, it was killing him holding back, and with a low low moan he slides in. Within a couple of strokes Logan is loose and Jai can’t stop. The hand that cradled Logan’s shoulders is now clamped hard, Jai is up on his knees and has Logan off the bed, in his arms as he pounds in.

Wrapping himself around Jai, Lo buries his face into the other man’s neck, licking and biting at stubbled skin as his breath is punched out of him with each thrust of Jai’s hips. His nails score the skin of his lover’s back and Logan gives it all up - overwhelmed, overpowered...it’s perfect.

Perfect is the word Jai would use too if he was capable of anything more than want in this moment. His completion is chasing him down like a train and as he lifts his head and looks into Logan’s eyes he stills and his cock pulses deep inside his … “baby,” boy.

Logan’s breath stutters when Jai orgasms, he can feel the bone deep shudder as the latex is filled, as Jai’s long awaited release is fulfilled. He holds Jai’s gaze, but he doesn’t reply, he’s panting, on edge himself, his body sweaty and flushed.

Jai looks down, chest heaving now that he is spent, and there is no evidence that Logan has climaxed. He kisses him, wet and messy, and lays him down, slowly pulling out. Jai licks the sweat from Logan’s neck and chest until that salt turns thick under the purple head of his cock and Jai takes the whole length in.

The slow drag of Jai’s tongue is the sweetest torture on skin that is already hypersensitive, and when Jai sucks down his dick...it’s all Logan can do not the fly apart in that moment. Instead he uses all his training to hold back, to enjoy just a few more seconds of this wicked pleasure then his back bows up, his throat bared as he keens out a long loud noise of bliss.

The first gush catches Jai off guard but soon he is swallowing and sucking every drop Logan offers, his tongue flattening and sliding as the pulses weaken. Jai pulls off and licks the drips that spilled from his mouth. “All done?” he smirks, satisfied all around.

 

Logan’s so past ‘done’ it’s not funny. He lays there, his arms flung above his head, his chest heaving, eyes half lidded, unable to speak, floating on a sea of happy chemicals.

Jai falls to the bed next to Logan and pulls him over so he’s half covering Jai, “Next time I’m going to spend hours with my tongue in your ass …”

“Maybe I don’t want that,” Logan’s words are slurred against Jai’s chest. “Maybe I just want to be fucked like that over and over until I can’t walk straight,”

A rumbling laugh bubbles up through Jai’s chest, partly because who doesn’t want their ass eaten and partly because he’d like nothing better than to fuck Logan for days. “Maybe, we can compromise, cos baby, I can’t not eat the sweetest ass I’ve ever had. If you’d tasted your ass and your cock and your balls then you’d know.” Jai kisses Lo tenderly on the head, “Fuckin’ sweet as honey.”

“Number one kink huh?” Logan lifts is head and turns to look up at Jai, his chin set on Jai’s pec.  
“We can compromise, just remember I’m in this with you, partners, I’m not your toy,” He yawns widely, and dips his chin to smother it in Jai’s skin.

“Sleep,” Jai insists, he’s dropping off as he speaks, and as he drifts away he wonders what has happened to Logan that he persists in telling Jai that he’s his own person … _not a toy_ , _Wade_... There is a scar that needs healing.

Somehow, without moving far, Lo manages to pull some covers half over himself, then he settles in, nuzzling against Jai and closes his eyes. “Ice cream later,” it’s a demand, not a request and he smiles as he makes it.

 

END

Comments screened and welcome.


	13. In San Francisco

Players only, backdated to mid August, 2014.

 

 

 

Jai offered to come by and pick Logan up from his place but he declined and instead is meeting Jai at his office, they have a 2PM flight and Jai needs the morning to get his initial drafts, drawings and notes together. He’s grateful that he already knows the men he is working for, having designed their house but he’s also nervous - this is his largest ever project by a long way.

David has been a godsend, so much of what Jai needs is already printed and stapled and tagged and it’s the only reason he was able to relax with his boy over the weekend. Jai smiles as the memories assail him of what can only be described as love-making and although he was tempted to ask for more he’s been well satisfied.

Logan’s not stopped, he returned to work, added in an extra shift so he could re-arrange for the weekend away with Jai and he’d only ended up taking one day off as vacation time. Of which he has plenty - holidays are not something he indulges in. Now with his things stuffed into a small case he climbs out of the cab and glances up at Jai’s office as he pays the driver. He’s both excited and nervous, pleased to be seeing Jai again, but hesitant about ‘playing’ partner to his boyfriend on a business trip - it’s a big deal - but he’s done his homework.

Rolling the last of the A2 sheets around another roll of them Jai slides the lot into a long, cylindrical case and zips the end closed. He has a list on the top of his desk with all the paperwork that he needs written down and checks his phone again for his contact at the San Francisco planning office. Just as he’s smoothing his hair for the hundredth time Jai hears the office door close and prays that it’s Logan, he needs a calming influence about now.

Logan smiles as David looks up at him. “Hey,” he greets the other man, he’s a little more confident around him this time, a little, but not a lot.

Jai wastes no time getting to the reception area, Logan doesn’t need to suffer David.

“Oh honey! You’re going to have such a time in San Fran! It’s wonderful up there,” David is gushing, one hand resting on Logan’s shoulder while the other flails wildly, “and you’ll get to see The Castro, it’s fab!”

“Hands off David,” Jai grins, slipping a wink to Logan, “he’s mine.”

Logan’s gaze is on Jai the moment he steps into the room, his face lighting up in a smile. “Is that so?” He teases back, he lifts his face for a kiss.

A friendly push gets David out of the way, Jai takes the offered kiss and doesn’t skimp on it, leisurely swiping his tongue over Lo’s and pulling back after nipping his full bottom lip, “All mine, all weekend.” He laughs at David’s groans and ignores his complaint. “Are you ready to go baby?”

“Huh huh,” Logan nods, settling back on his heels. “You did bring my suit right?” It had seemed silly for him to take it home, to then drag it back again in it’s carrier. All his other new clothes have been washed and ironed before being carefully packed, he’s wearing some old tight jeans and a vintage Elton tee to travel in.

“Yep, it’s in there with mine,” Jai nods to a suit bag that is hanging over the door to his office, his suitcase right beside it, “all snuggled in together,” he adds lowly. He glances at his watch, “The car will be here in about half an hour, have you had lunch?”

“No,” Logan had had a late breakfast but he can always eat. He’s aware David has returned to his work so he up nods toward Jai’s office. “Coffee?” he looks hopeful.

“Sure,” Jai drops another quick kiss on Logan’s lips, this one is sweet and just for them. “David, can you please grab us a couple of sandwiches from the cafe?” David will grumble but Jai has asked before and he’s done it himself when one or other of them was busy.

After towing Logan into his office Jai falls into the small couch and pats his lap, “Come here, I’ve missed those lips.”

Lo cocks a brow at that. “Is that all hmm?” He asks as he climbs up and onto Jai, slipping his arms around the other man’s neck. “How are you?” it’s been nearly three days since they saw each other, but they’ve talked on the phone.

“Much better now,” Jai sinks a hand deep into Logan’s hair and pulls him in until their lips meet again, this time it isn’t sweet and it isn’t for show - it’s intense and breathtaking and Jai pours three lonely days into it. “Missed you, all of you.”

Giving as good as he gets, Logan kisses Jai back. He’s made it clear he’s not going to be overtly submissive - he’s determined to be considered Jai’s equal in this thing they’re developing and he’s reminding Jai of that in subtle ways - often unconsciously. When he pulls back, he’s got his fingers in Jai’s hair, messing it up from where it had been slicked back smoothing out the gentle curls. “Let’s not get too carried away, we’ve a flight to get through, public decency and all that. “

“The flight might be public,” Jai grins, “but the car is private and it’s going to take at least forty minutes to get to the airport …” He sets his teeth to Logan’s throat and nips the fine skin, “Plenty of time to taste you.”

“Hmm, that so? Or plenty of time for me to blow you?” Logan retorts, wriggling suggestively in Jai’s lap, despite his words of just a few moments ago.

“Not much point of being a club member if I can’t use it,” Jai nuzzles in behind Logan’s ear then sucks the soft lobe and bites down, he spent a lot of time in their days together learning just how to get a reaction from his boy by doing that.

That? Is simply not playing fair. Logan whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut as he shudders, his entire body becoming hypersensitive in just moments. “Bastard,” he hisses playfully.

While Jai is chuckling he’s sliding his big hands under Lo’s t-shirt and pulling him down. “Gotta have my own ways of getting to you,” Jai sucks the lobe again then lets it go, “you do that to me without even trying.”

“You, do not make noises like that,” Logan accuses, there’s a tremble in his voice that wasn’t there moments ago. “So I don’t believe you,”

“How do you think _this_ happens?” Jai grinds up, pressing an obvious hardness into Logan’s ass. He buries his face into Lo’s neck, “Every fucking time I lay eyes on you.”

“Because you’re a dirty old man?” Logan’s eyes slide shut as Jai’s lips play over his throat. “Hmmm,”

Jai growls, “Not too old for you.” He’s about to go further than just hands up Lo’s shirt when David announces loudly from the outer office that he is back and if they want food then they, “Had better not be naked!” Jai laughs and gently pushes Logan away, “Don’t worry, we’ll get back to this soon.”

~*~

Logan steps out of the car first, his eyes are a little hazy and he runs the back of his hand over his mouth, just to be sure there’s no traces of cum left on his lips. He hikes his bag up onto his shoulder and turns to wait for his lover as the driver pops the truck to retrieve their bags and the suit carrier.

Catching Logan wiping his mouth puts a wider smile on Jai’s lips and he quickly scans himself for signs of their ‘pre flight’ entertainment. There is a single spot darkening his navy blue button up so Jai swipes his finger over it and sucks while winking at his boy.

Jai drags a trolley over to the car and once their bags are on he leads Logan through to the counter to check in and get their boarding passes, from there it’s a short walk to the gate and a long wait for their flight.

Logan sprawls out in a seat beside Jai and scans the room. “So Mr Hot Shot Business man, what’s the plan this weekend?” He’s no idea as to their schedule, just assumed there would be a formal dinner at some point, hence the need for the suit. He’d tossed a couple of books into his bag just in case he’d be spending any time on his own.

“All we have to do today is check in to our hotel, I was thinking we’d go out to Fisherman’s Wharf and get some dinner.” Jai pulls his phone out and looks at the calendar entry for the next day, “I have a 9am appointment so you get to sleep in, I have no idea how long it’s going to take though, shouldn’t be all day … Dinner with the clients tomorrow night, that’s when you get to be all dressed up and gorgeous and we get to impress the bankers.”

“Okay,” Logan nods digesting that info. “Can I borrow your tablet tomorrow while you’re out? I might have a look for something to do,”

“Of course baby, whatever you want.” Jai wants to put his hands on Logan, the way he’s all slouched down and relaxed, his jeans pulling enticingly around his crotch, instead he opts for fingers under his chin and a light kiss. “Saturday we get to be a bit more casual and you get to see some more of my work, a bar-b-que with Jeff and George. They’re really great guys.”

“Cool,” Logan accepts the kiss with a smile. He may seem to be taking this all in his stride but most of it’s new to him. He’s flown before, but only when he had to attend different Citadel premises for training and for that he’d been part of a small, supervised group. “Do they know your boyfriend looks like an under age dork?” he teases with a wink.

“No, but they’re going to be ridiculously jealous that I have a hot younger man,” Jai is concerned, Logan often refers to himself in this way - as under age or something like it - and while he’s not worried about Lo’s self esteem he wonders what makes him see himself like that.

“Hmmm,” Logan makes a noncommittal noise and looks around the room again, they’re in the business lounge and all the people there are men - boring looking for the most part. Very straight laced. “Can we get a drink?”

“Sure.” Jai raises his hand to the waiter and orders a scotch rocks, “What do you want baby?”

“Can I get a cherry coke with a vodka shot please?” Logan smiles sweetly at the waiter. “With ice and a straw?”

The waiter’s eyes flick a glance at Jai and he’s answered with a look that brooks no question, Jai knows that Logan will have ID on him but the stare this guy is getting assures that his boy will be treated with respect.

“S’okay you know,” Logan watches the man retreat, before turning his gaze on Jai. “I get carded all the time, I’m used to it,”

Jai nods, he understands, “But when you’re with me you’ll get respect.” He stops talking before he gets into touchy territory, Jai too easily becomes overprotective of Logan and the closer they get the harder it is for Jai to hold back.

Logan’s brows go up. “It’s not disrespectful for them to need to see my ID Jai, they’re doing their job,” he sits up a little, tugging his tee back into place. “And when did I give you the impression I’ll let anyone disrespect me? I certainly put you in your place when you tried,”

“Yeah you did,” Jai chuckles, every time he gets to feeling like this Logan sets him straight and his affection grows. He leans in and kisses Lo again, “However, I pay for the privilege of business class and that includes not being looked down on,” he winks and kisses Logan again.

“Even if I sit in your lap?” Logan throws a pointed look at the other men in the room.

That makes Jai laugh again, “Yes,” he reaches for his boyfriend’s hand, “you cheeky minx.”

Logan’s weighing up how naughty he can get away with, and if he really can park himself in Jai’s lap when the waiter reappears with their drinks. He takes his with a broad smile, “Thank you,”

“Such good manners,” another low chuckle rumbles through Jai’s deep chest.

About ten minutes later their flight is called, Jai swallows the last of his scotch and sits on the edge of the seat while Logan sucks on his straw and all Jai can do is groan knowing exactly what that feels like.

Flicking Jai a knowing look, Logan plays it up a little, he’s starting to enjoy this power he has over his boyfriend. He spits the straw out and rolls to his feet, scooping up his bag as he does. “C’mon then,” he offers Jai his hand.

Jai takes the offered hand first then slings the plans over his shoulder and picks up his briefcase, “Let’s go.” As they walk to the gate Jai sees people looking at them, some sneer and some smile, Jai smiles at everyone who catches his eyes. His chest is full of the way he feels, and although he’s never been an activist or wanted to make statements about his sexuality, he’s proud to hold Logan’s hand and doesn’t care who sees.

“Some gay pride stuff on the shopping list when we hit San Fran then?” Logan leans in to murmur, he can’t not smile. He’s never hidden his sexuality, but he’s assumed Jai has been a lot more discreet, until now. “I can see you in a rainbow tee,”

“Probably,” Jai groans, “you’re a bad influence on me,” he’s grinning and squeezes Lo’s hand before he drops it to fish their passes out of his pocket and hands them to the flight attendant. They are shown to the business class section at the front of the plane and their seats, “You want to put your bag up?”

He hands his bag to Jai - after all what’s the point of a tall boyfriend if he can’t do the ‘tall’ things. “Thanks,” he slides in and parks his butt in the window seat. “Is the hotel nice?” he asks, distracted as he watches some men working out on the tarmac.

Leaning in close Jai whispers hotly, “Only the best for you baby,” and since they’re still awhile away from take off Jai swipes his phone and hands it to Logan. Pictures of the Loews Regency flash across the screen, “What do you think?”

Logan peers at the phone then up at Jai. “So long as the beds are huge, the view is kick ass and I have you...I’ll be content,”

_You’ve got me._ Jai only has Logan in his sight, “The view is excellent.”

~*~

Logan drops his bag on a chair and wanders over to the large bed, he spins on his toes and falls back, arms outstretched. “This’ll do,” he pronounces, beaming up from his prone position at Jai.

After tipping the porter and placing his his plans on the desk Jai finally lets himself stalk over to his boyfriend, stopping at the edge of the bed at Logan’s knees, “Hmm do you remember complaining about me biting your earlobe?”

A slow blink, the hint of mischief in Logan’s smiles. “Yes, why?” He toes off his sneakers and wriggles on the bed, further mussing up the immaculate bed linen.

“You’re biting my earlobe,” Jai growls playfully as he crawls after Logan. When he catches up with his prey he growls again, “You going to let me fuck you before we go out?”

“I’m not doing anything provocative,” Logan protests, his eyes widening as Jai positions himself over him, that physical presence, his size, the breadth of his shoulders all work to make Logan feel even smaller - and he likes it. Like he did with Joe - only better.

“You’re breathing,” Jai lowers his mouth to meet Logan’s, at first nipping his lips then pressing past them with his tongue.

Logan’s mouth opens without thought, allowing Jai all the access he needs, he responds in kind, kissing back just as passionately, his arms come up to wind around Jai’s neck and pull him closer, pull him down.

He goes willingly, even though it’s been mere hours since Logan was on his knees in the car Jai is ready to go again. “Want you, baby b … bad, so bad,” Jai’s reaction to Logan’s hardness meeting his is to grind down and bare his teeth to Lo’s neck.

“Yes,” Logan tips his head back, his throat corded as he closes his eyes, allowing himself to just _be_ with this man, his lover. “Yes Jai...”

Moving back long enough to get Logan’s shirt off Jai then undoes the top button of his own shirt and pulls it over his head, his broad, lightly furred chest is heaving already at the sight of his boy all sleepy and kiss bitten. “I can’t decide if I want to bite your nipples or your ass, both so fucking tasty,” Jai’s voice is barely audible.

It’s an easy choice for Lo to make for his lover, he tugs Jai back in, guiding his mouth to his chest - he doesn’t want Jai out of his eye line. “Taste me...” he demands, “Taste my skin Jai...” He slips a hand over one broad shoulder and scratches, before his fingers knead at that dense muscle.

Now that Logan has given him the idea Jai really wants to taste. He latches onto one pink nipple, strong fingers pinching the other to hardness before he licks wider, his tongue tracing the muscles on Logan’s chest. “Wanna mark you, mine …”

“Hmm,” Lo hums his agreement, “Yes, love bites...you can give me love bites,” Easy enough to offer up - he has a few days before he’s back at work. He rubs his fingers through Jai’s hair, tugging on it lightly.

Jai doesn’t need to be told twice and starts to suck, hard, eyes flicking down to watch the mark bloom and the redness fade to purple. His first pass isn’t dark enough or big enough and he goes back for more - for the taste of blood - his hands restlessly mapping Lo’s chest down to the waist of his jeans.

Logan’s been bitten and marked enough to know when things are getting a little too hard - and Jai’s going _there_. He pushes at him, his heels pressing into the bed as he tries to shift. “Stop...enough...” he groans out. “Jai, stop please...”

It takes most of Jai’s will to stop, Logan’s body betrays him, but his baby has asked and that’s enough, he lifts off with a slurp and kisses the spot tenderly. “You only want me to stop biting? Or everything?” Lo didn’t safeword but Jai needs to be sure.

“Just that bite, there,” Logan licks over his lower lip, his breathing all kinds of erratic. “Still want you...you promised to fuck me...” His fingers find the bruise and he presses it, he can feel how it’s raised, swollen against the rest of his skin.

“And I always keep my promises,” Jai wants more marks on Logan’s skin but he’s willing to wait, all that pale satin … Jai pulls back again and rids them both of their pants in moments finding more of his boy that he wants to make his own, he drops his head and sucks right near Lo’s hip, only marking it lightly.

“Stop it!” Logan is all kinds of impatient now, “Stop tormenting me...I want your cock, I want you to fuck me...fuck me like you did before...make me feel small and .....” he snaps his mouth shut and frowns.

Jai heard it, Lo’s slip, and pins him to the bed with his gaze, “Small and what?” he asks, very curious. They need supplies so Jai backs off the bed and pulls at the zipper of his suitcase without taking his eyes off Logan.

The look Logan gives Jai is mutinous, like it was entirely Jai’s fault that he let his mouth run away with him. He presses his lips tight and refuses to speak, even as his own brain is ticking over trying to fathom out where that came from and what it is that he wants. _Small and what..?_. Indeed.

_There’s more than one way to find out_ , Jai thinks as he returns to the bed, he doesn’t speak, just continues to watch as he spreads Logan’s legs wide. “Cat got your tongue?” Jai asks, his fingers teasing Lo’s ass cheeks apart and skimming his hole.

That caress is enough to make Logan groan, his lower lip caught between his teeth. His cock kicks up but he still stares back at Jai as if he’s fighting not to say something, as if he’s pissed at being caught out. His fingers find the bedding beneath him and he twists it up.

Jai gently forces Logan’s legs up higher, his hands still spreading wide while his thumbs drag across the soft skin of Lo’s sac, it’s intended to be too gentle, to tease. “Got something you want to tell me baby?”

“Yes,” Logan’s breath catches even on that one word. “Fuck me...” he grinds out, blue eyes glittering with want. “I want you to fuck me...”

“And I want to …” Jai presses a dry finger into Logan while dancing his fingers over his boy’s cock, “right after you tell me your secret baby.”

“No....” And this time Logan growls, his body thrumming with arousal, his dick already wet at the tip with precum. “No....” he repeats it even as his back arches up, wanting more, so much more.

Jai isn’t convinced, Logan’s ‘no’ doesn’t mean the same as it did before. He finds the lube and puts just enough on the end of his finger to get it right inside and ready to press his advantage. Before he does anything more he leans down and kisses his way from Lo’s lips, along his jaw, to his ear and whispers, “Then I can’t fuck you baby boy,” as he strokes Logan’s prostate.

There it is. Those words. _Baby boy_. Just like when Joe tripped the same thing - only this time Logan is so much more aware, so much more conscious of his own bone deep, visceral reaction to those two simple words.

He opens his mouth the word right there...right there - and then he’s suddenly terrified, terrified if he says it - attaches that title to Jai that Jai will freak and won’t want him anymore. Used and dirty and too knowing. His ass clamps down on that one finger - his whole body tenses up, the pliancy of sexual arousal gone in a heartbeat.

The few days they spent together feel like months to Jai despite each time being so new. The moment Logan changes Jai knows, he’s also suddenly wary since they struggled so much early on. He carefully slips his finger out and pulls back from his lover’s neck without pulling away, “What’s wrong Lo? Tell me, please.”

“You make me want things, things I never wanted before, not like this...and I’m scared of what it means,” Logan won’t lie, or try and sidestep - not now. “I’m scared it means I’m fucked up on some deep level, that I want something that’s wrong,”

“How wrong can it be?” Jai asks, smiling gently, “I want to tie you up and beat you,” the admission runs goosebumps up Jai’s spine, “you telling me that’s not wrong?”

“No of course not,” But as the words leave his mouth he appreciates just how hypocritical his own thinking is - why is it okay for Jai to want to hurt him, but it’s not okay for Logan to ask for the thing he needs?

His gaze flicks back to meet Jai’s and he studies him for a moment - either which way he has to tell him - there’s no way out.

“I want to feel small, and I want to feel delicate and I want to be able to call you Daddy,” And now his gaze is almost challenging - challenging Jai to laugh at him, or worse turn away in disgust.

Woah! Jai takes a breath, willing himself to stay still while he works out how he feels about that. In a split second there is a war in his head - on the one hand he has never considered wanting to be called that, it’s a kink that has always been well below Jai’s radar - on the other hand it speaks to him in ways that nothing Logan has said or done before has affected him.

“Okay,” Jai drops to rest his forehead on Logan’s, “if I can call you baby boy.” Every protective and indulgent need in him, every desire to have that smaller form wrapped in his strong arms is now something he can give to Logan.

The relief isn’t instantaneous - mostly because Logan is still so freaked out himself.

“Okay? Just like that?”

“Not _just like that_ exactly.” He’s aware that he still needs to tread carefully. “You know I told you that you were a perfect sub?” Jai watches Lo nod, “It’s more than that. You’re exactly my type; small for a man, delicate and beautiful. As well you brought out some very protective feelings in me … Paternal, for want of a better word.”

“And you don’t think that’s fucked up?” The question isn’t accusatory, so much as genuinely curious. “You want to beat and fuck someone you feel like that about?” And Lo knows he’s getting his head messed up with things he does at work, but he has no other frame of reference to use.

Jai snorts even though it’s not funny, “Hell yes it’s fucked up.” A gentle hand strokes Logan’s face, Jai’s arousal forgotten for now, “In my experience most people are fucked up in some way.” Despite Lo’s protestations the longer this goes on the more comfortable Jai is with the idea, he’s certainly interested in exploring it if nothing else.

“I don’t want to call you that all the time, like using Sir...it has a place - but sometimes when I curl up with you, on you...you make me feel safe - only one other guy’s ever done that - and I called him Daddy - and it freaked me out - it was different with him, but he called me baby boy too - and .... he’s big like you....” He’s rambling and he knows it - and he’s also aware he might be fucking Jai off with this admission. “He’s someone I work with, someone who trains me...”

To hear Logan speak of ‘curling up’ and Jai ‘making him feel safe’ assures his arousal isn’t gone completely. However, as usual the mention of Logan’s work twists Jai’s gut and since their recent admissions he now sees it for what it is. It is also a way for Jai to maybe have something that is theirs, “Could this be just for us? Could I ask you to not do that with him?”

“Yes,” Logan nods, it’s an easy thing to agree to, even if he’s going to have to tell Joe that they can’t go there again. It’s not like it’s a regular thing anyway. “Yes, I can change my limits - I can keep that for us,”

“Good.” Jai still wants Logan and right now he’s just happy to have him. Using the strength that he loves to feel with his smaller lover he rolls onto his back and pulls Logan over on top, a hand in his baby’s hair to bring their lips together. “You still want me now?”

“Not _right_ now,” Logan murmurs against Jai’s mouth. “Need a coupla minutes to get my head back into the game,” His body won’t need quite so long, acting as it does on instinct, but he needs a moment or two to settling his racing thoughts and get back to the matter at hand. “Big stuff there,”

Jai nods his agreement, “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” His hands don’t stop moving but they’re not as insistent as they could be, his lips also let Lo set the pace, responding without demanding. Jai himself has a lot to think about and the thing that surprises him most is how settled and comfortable he suddenly feels, every insight into Logan is a revelation about himself.

A little over five minutes later, Logan is sliding his prepped and stretched ass down over Jai’s latex sheathed dick, his hands press down on Jai’s pecs as he does, his knees up, feet planted either side of his lover’s chest. Jai’s hands guiding him as they cradle his hips.

“Fuck,” Jai groans, “don’t think I could get any further inside you if I tried.” The most movement Jai has is to push up, flexing his ass, he’s okay to let Logan set the pace for now but it won’t be long before he needs to get pro-active.

“That was the plan,” Logan’s voice is a little strained, he’d picked this position, inelegant as it is, simply because he’d be able to take everything Jai has. “So fucking full...” he hisses as he grinds down, the curls at the base of Jai’s dick scratching against the sensitive skin of his asshole.

_So fucking full..._ Up til now Jai has kept his hands benignly on Logan’s thighs and hips but knowing that Logan is so into it encourages Jai. He slides his hands up Lo’s sides and pinches his nipples before bringing his right hand down over his boy’s cock.

Leaning in, his blue eyes glittering, Logan digs his nails into Jai’s chest. “Tell me..tell me why you like me small...why you like me young...” He wants payback for Jai making him talk - now he wants some of Jai’s secrets.

He hisses, the pain swells his cock and he grinds up into Lo again. “Not young,” he growls, “small so I can lift you up and fuck you against a wall,” Jai finishes with a thrust and a grin.

“You _do_ like me young,” Logan counters, he knows the look Jai gets, and whether Jai is honest with himself or not, he sees it. “Young and pretty, adds to the spice when you beat me, and fuck me until I’m a broken doll of a boy,”

“Not young,” Jai says it again, his eyes boring into Logan’s, he’s certain that underage has never been a thing for him. However, he can’t leave Lo’s other statement unanswered, “and I want you broken before I fuck you.” _That_ he knows about himself.

“Yeah? Beaten, crying...utterly helpless when you pick me up, and fuck me...use me?” Logan’s tongue slides out over his lower lip, leaving the pink skin glistening in it’s wake. He uses his legs to rock himself up and down on Jai’s dick, aware however if Jai wants more, he’s going to have to lift him.

Jai’s eyes narrow, his need is growing and Logan is teasing, “Are you baiting me baby?” His tone isn’t as gentle as it could be.

“You...didn’t...didn’t answer,” Logan’s teeth are bared as he works Jai’s dick. “Beaten and bloody, that’s how you want your baby hmm? Crying...you wanna taste his tears when you use him?”

“No!” Jai grabs Logan and forcefully rolls him over, pressing him into the bed, “It’s not about me.”

Whilst he’d been pushing Jai to this, the movement still catches him off guard, and his whole body tightens with a sensual thrill as he’s manhandled in such a manner - but Jai’s words, it’s his words that have Logan’s eyes widening. “Isn’t it? Isn’t it want you want?”

“I don’t want to use you baby,” Jai holds Logan’s hands to the bed as he explains, “I want to see you give in to ecstasy … to use pleasure and pain to take you to heights that make you abandon all control … Broken yes, not beaten.”

In that moment, Logan begins to see why Jai wanted him outside of seeing him at the club. When he’s working he’s an object, with varying degrees of participation in a scene - what Jai is proposing is an intimacy Logan can’t recall sharing in before.

Jai’s stillness brings him back to the moment, he blinks and meets Jai’s gaze, he had no words right now, so he nods, just once to show he’s heard.

Logan’s relaxing body is a trigger to Jai’s lust, he’s not sure what’s in his baby’s head but something has just clicked. He wastes no time in demanding that Lo surrender to his kisses whilst the motion of his hips start up.

It’s a struggle, to shut his brain off, to allow his pleasure to wash away all his hesitation, all his questions, but Jai’s kisses are so insistent, the press of his body so thrilling that Logan gives himself up to it. The physicality of Jai’s body, his size, the almost oppressive sense of being subdued is a sure fire kink for Logan.

Gripping Logan under his back Jai lifts as he sits back on his heels, the shift sits Lo down hard on Jai’s cock and he groans, it also traps Logan’s erection between them. The way Jai is holding them stops either from touching Lo’s member, “You want to come baby, you have to do it on my cock,” Jai punctuates his words with jabs into Logan’s heat.

“Not fair,” Logan grumbles, the words smushed against Jai’s throat as he entwines his arms around Jai’s neck, pressing closer. “Hold me, hold me tight,” he demands, whisperkissing his way to Jai’s ear. “I want to feel like I could break in your arms,”

Logan’s eagerness for Jai to let go is music to his ears and he does as he is bidden, Jai wraps his arms as tightly as he can around his boy, spreads his knees and rises up. “Baby,” Logan is completely off the bed, held only in Jai’s arms while Jai fucks him fast and hard.

“S’Lo,” Logan breathes against the shell of Jai’s ear as each subsequent breath is punched from him with every thrust of Jai’s hips. He can’t move, his legs wrapped around his lover, his arms holding tight, and Jai’s arms don’t cradle, they entrap him, pressed to the point where breathing is a conscious effort. It’s an experience he’s never had before, his vision narrows down to nothing and he lets go...

Jai almost misses the pulsing of Logan’s ass around him, what he doesn’t miss is how Logan goes limp. It’s too late to stop his own orgasm but before it’s done he’s lowering his boy to the bed and tapping his cheek, “Logan, baby … come back to me Lo,” as the seconds tick by Jai’s concern grows, “Lo? Baby please… open your eyes baby boy.”

Dark lashes flutter, and slowly, Logan opens his eyes. He blinks, a small frown wrinkles between his brows as he tries to process the preceding minutes. He doesn’t remember orgasming, but his body tells him he has, and Jai’s leaning over him, flushed, sweaty, and concerned.

“Thank fuck,” Jai sweeps Lo’s hair back off his face and presses a tender kiss to his lips, “I lost you there for a minute.” Now that Logan is awake Jai untangles them and lays down on the bed, drawing his lover to his chest.

Skin to skin, Logan lays there, he’s unwilling, unable, to talk, his brain still fuzzy, his body twitching from the after effects of the fuck and his loss of consciousness. But he’s with Jai, and he’s learning fast, that here, he is safe, safe to talk, or not, safe to be quiet or chatter. Safe to just be.

Just as Jai is feeling his eyes droop, relaxing into sleep, his stomach rumbles and he is surprised that it’s starting to get dark outside. “Hey baby,” Jai whispers, unwilling to disturb Logan if he’s asleep, “are you with me?”

Logan’s reply is a non distinct noise. He’s not asleep, more he’s drifting in a half doze, half head spacey daze.

A deep chested chuckle bounces Lo’s head, Jai knows he’s awake, “I’m hungry, thinking about going out for some dinner.”

“Bye then,” Logan’s words are slurred against Jai’s skin. “M’dead,”

“Come on, don’t you want to see Fisherman’s Wharf?” Jai rolls onto his side and nuzzles into Logan’s neck.

“Tomorrow,” Logan murmurs back, his eyes resolutely closed. “Seriously Jai, my head’s fucked,” If he went out in public now, people would assume he was high, which he is - just not on drugs.

A quick look at Lo’s face and Jai can see the truth of it, “Okay, how about I fill that big tub in there and you can tell me how many times you’ve passed out from being fucked,” he says it lightly but what just happened worried Jai. He’s never had a sub do that before.

“If you want,” Logan opens his eyes, to find Jai leaning over him, his expression serious. “Never happened before,”

“Oh,” Jai was hoping that this was one of those things that Logan knows about, from his job … “Me either,” Jai’s as serious as Lo.

“It wasn’t the sex Jai,” Logan scrubs at his face, and nudges his lover out of the way so he can sit up, his hand moving into his hair, leaving it all sticky up. He shrugs lightly, “Sorry to say,” his smile is tired but playful nonetheless. “It was essentially breathplay, you held me tight, and then punched out what air I was getting, made me light headed, and it all went black just as I came.”

“You wanted that, right?” Jai frowns, he’s so used to being in control with his lovers - his subs - and this isn’t something he’s ever thought of doing. In this case it was purely for Logan.

“I wanted to be held like that yeah,” Logan nods, shuffling around on his bottom so he can look down at Jai - who appears to be rather confused. “I didn’t expect the breathplay element, I wasn’t thinking that clearly, but yes, I liked it, and I’d do it again,” He watches his lover closely, wanting to gauge his reaction.

“I’m not really comfortable with that,” Jai reaches for Logan, cupping his face, thumb trailing over the soft skin, “I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s risky babe, dangerous.”

Logan swallows, his gaze falling away to travel over Jai’s torso, all that muscle, all that strength. “M’okay though, this,” he waves a hand at his head to indicate his fuzziness, “It’s head space, that’s all,”

“I know.” Jai remembers well enough the last time Logan was like this even though it wasn’t him that put Lo there. This time he vows to be more sensitive and patient. “You want water? Lay there and I’ll get it while I run a bath,” Jai gently kisses Logan’s head.

“Is there any soda?” Logan doesn’t lay down, now he’s upright he wants to stay that way - otherwise sleep will be too much of a temptation. “I thought you were hungry anyway...are we ordering in ?”

“Water first, there’s no cherry coke but I’m sure we can get it,” Jai hands over the bottle, “There’ll be a room service menu on the desk and yes,” he leans in to kiss his boy’s wet lips, “I am hungry and I don’t mind staying in tonight.”

“I do drink other things that cherry coke,” Logan snorts, “Like coffee, milk, water and even beer,” he pokes his tongue out as Jai heads to the bathroom. “I’ll order up huh?”

“Really?” Jai raises an amused eyebrow, his gut unclenching by one notch, “I’ve only seen you drink cherry coke,” he jokes as he hands over the menu and goes to start the bath.

“Noooo,” Logan calls out when Jai disappears from sight. “I’m sure I’ve had a beer with you, at least once!” He laughs to himself and opens the menu scanning it before reaching for the phone.

The lightness in Lo’s voice completely unravels the knots in his belly and buoys him even more when he considers that Logan recovered so much quicker this time. Jai is grateful, he can’t be sure he wasn’t the cause that night, it matters less now. “What are we eating?” he asks as he re-emerges from the bathroom, tub now full.

“I ordered a chicken dish with some BBQ sauce and cheese, and a steak with onion rings, with fries and salad,” He’d stuck to foods he was pretty sure Jai would eat. “You can have whichever you prefer,” Clambering off the bed, Logan pauses to stretch out, his joints popping.

“Mmmmm meat,” Jai waggles his eyebrows, smiling as he nears Logan. He dips in for a quick, distracting kiss then sweeps his boy off his feet and carries him to the bath.

The water is a little on the hot side, and Logan’s pale skin pinks up quickly, but it feels good and he sinks down until the tip of his chin is submerged. He watches Jai as he climbs in, glad the tub is more than big enough for the two of them.

The change in colour of Lo’s delicate skin isn’t lost on Jai, as he slides into the water his hands come to rest on his boy’s thighs, thumbs slowly stroking. Now that Logan is relaxed Jai feels comfortable in asking, “Are you okay now?”

There’s something in the way Jai asks that that has Logan’s attention, “As opposed to when?” his brow wrinkles. “Did I not seem okay?”

“It took a while for you to come back, before … and you seem to be coping with,” Jai’s struggling again to express himself but he gives it another shot, “the drop, your sub drop. That night at my house, the night you were really marked up,” he hates to think about it still, “it was worse that night. I just want to be sure you’re okay now.” He shrugs hoping Lo will understand it’s all concern and care for him.

It takes a moment or two for Lo to parse out what Jai is trying to get at, but when he does, his brows go up. “Oh! Yeah, no,” he smiles, reaching for Jai’s hand under the water. “It’s different,” Chewing on the inside of his mouth he considers his words. “Okay, this is how it plays out for me in general, and sometimes there is cross over...so it’s not cut in stone. I get headspace from intense physical experiences, be that hot, hard sex, or a scene, I get subspace from scenes, subspace can be deeper, and therefore harder to come back from, what we just did was head space, I come back quicker from that, it’s like the difference between taking one shot versus ten shots - the hangover is harsher,”

“Oh,” Jai frowns, “I thought it was all the same.” He lifts Logan’s hand to his lips and kisses it tenderly. “It’s good for you yeah? Headspace and subspace, it’s something you want?”

“It is the same for some people, but that’s how it works for me, and yes, it’s good for me, and I definitely want it with you,” Logan nods. “With you I’m going to be able to have both, and my head will be fucked, and you will have a limp, good-for-nothing, boy on your hands,” Logan teases. “You’ll wonder why you picked me when I’m laying spaced out and drooling on your chest,”

A growl rumbles in Said chest and his cock starts to fill again, this boy will be the death of him. “No I won’t,” he takes both hands and pulls Logan over, he’s even lighter under the water, “I’ll be very pleased with myself.”

“I bet you will,” Logan chuckles as he finds himself pulled back into Jai’s slippy embrace. “I just need some space, and usually skin on skin right after, okay? Sometimes I come back quicker than others, you’ll figure it out,”

“I look forward to it,” Jai can’t help having to kiss his boy, “and skin on skin I can do,” he adds with a smile.

END

Comments welcome and screened.


	14. After Dinner Strawberries

Players only, backdated to mid August, 2014.

 

 

Jai stops briefly at the desk as they enter their hotel and orders some room service, he’s promised his baby some strawberries and that’s what he’ll get. All the way in the car and then into the lift Jai can’t keep his hands off Lo, caresses and kisses and kitten licks to his neck that end in bites on his ear lobe. Every touch ratchets up Jai’s need.

By the time the door is closed on their room, Logan is a squirmy mess of flushed, dishevelled boy. He’d tried batting away Jai hands, nudging him away the first time he nipped his ear - but he’d given up in the face of his lover’s determination.

“Stop,” Jai commands gently as they head toward the bedroom, when Logan complies Jai slides his jacket off and takes Lo’s, hanging them both. His tie is also off as he whispers, “Sit on the end of the bed for me baby.”

Logan is all wide eyed and silent as he obeys, his dick is hard, his skin is goosebumped up from the bites to his ear and his focus is for Jai and Jai alone. He licks over his lower lip, and weighs up just how comfortable he is in gifting Jai a ‘Sir’.

Taking every pillow from the head of the bed Jai stacks them up behind Logan then stands in front of him and kisses until his boy relaxes back into the pile. With that gorgeous length of neck exposed Jai takes the time to really appreciate it, biting and sucking as he slowly opens Logan’s tie and shirt. When peaked nipples are revealed he adds them to his interest, laving them each with an open mouth and bared teeth.

Logan’s finding it impossible to keep still, his hips move as he writhes beneath Jai’s mouth, his teeth and his wicked tongue. He gives up every noise, each soft sharp inhale, each low groan. “Jai...please....” His fingers started out on broad shoulders, the fine cotton bunching up, until they work up, over Jai’s neck and into his hair.

Jai drops Logan’s tie to the floor and reaches for his belt, in short order he has it and Lo’s trousers open, “Up,” he growls, hands under his boy’s ass. Seconds later the soft wool is at Lo’s feet and Jai spreads his baby’s knees wide, he grins wickedly when Logan’s hard leaking cock is presented so perfectly. Jai kneels and disposes of shoes and socks and presses Lo’s legs even wider, “Hmmm, I’m still hungry.”

“You’re greedy,” Logan accuses, his voice all kinds of unsteady. His breathing is deeper, his skin flushing up, his chest pink beneath hard swollen nipples. “You had me this afternoon...”

“And I want you again.” It’s all Jai says before dipping his head between Logan’s legs and begins to lick there too. Jai spends an inordinate amount of time making sure every inch of Lo’s engorged cock and tightly drawn balls experience his tongue, lapping each drip of precome as it appears at the head. When Jai is busy down low and a drip escapes he takes all of Logan’s cock into his mouth and cleans it off.

Logan is almost feverish with arousal, his hands are fisted in the bedding, his throat corded as he fights to not thrust up into that wicked wet heat. “Oh fuck..oh god...ffffuck,” he gazes down his own torso to watch Jai as he sucks him, his lover’s hair all mussed up into gentle curls, high points of colour paint Jai’s cheeks too and Logan can’t look away.

There is a soft knock at the door, Jai’s cue to pull away and wipe his hand across his face. He’s smiling crookedly as he stands, his own erection more than obvious, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

Dropping his head back into the pillow Logan takes the opportunity to try and get his breath back and his thoughts in order. He’s going to need some time to think over how this relationship is playing out - he’s in such unfamiliar territory and it’s evolving faster than he’d ever thought it might. But Jai is so very sweet and attentive. Closing his eyes he blows out a breath his mouth curving up when he hears footfalls as Jai returns.

As expected Lo is lying back on the pillows, but he’s smiling and Jai can’t help asking, “Have you been thinking again?” He sits on the bed next to Logan with a tray on his lap, a bowl of freshly washed strawberries, a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

Choosing to ignore the comment about ‘thinking’, Logan instead focuses his attention on the champagne. “Are we celebrating?” his gaze snaps up from the bottle to Jai, his aching dick forgotten for the moment.

“Yeah,” Jai’s big smile is genuine, this gorgeous boy all laid out for him here is the best thing he could hope for, “celebrating that tonight you are here with me and the rest of the world is out there with no idea what they’re missing.” Jai raises some fruit to Lo’s lips, waiting til he takes it before placing the tray on the floor and pouring two full glasses.

It’s a lovely sentiment - which puts no pressure on Logan whatsoever. He takes the strawberry - smiling in delight as he does. Moments later he’s appreciating the play of muscle over Jai’s back as he bends, the sweet fragrant strawberry crushed between his teeth. _I like this...I could get used to this..._

Jai kisses Logan’s smile and pushes his shirt the rest of the way off. After handing Logan a glass Jai rises and removes the rest of his own clothes, he doesn’t consider that it’s a way of making them equal, he just wants to have nothing else between him and his boy.

A long cool swallow does away with most of Jai’s drink and Logan has had a few mouthfuls so Jai tops them both up and moves the pillows back up the bed. The last thing he does before climbing on is to set the bowl of strawberries between them.

“Is this normal?” Logan sips the champagne, it’s sweet enough that he finds he likes it. “Is this how normal people treat each other when they date?” The question is asked quietly, as he selects a perfectly formed strawberry and offers it up to Jai.

“I don’t know,” Jai shrugs as he closes his lips around Logan’s fingertips. He chews the fruit then sips from his glass, enjoying the sweetness and doesn’t bother to wait to taste the same from his lover’s. He leans over and takes his taste in a passionate kiss, “It’s how I want to treat you.”

“You’ve dated before,” Logan points out, licking Jai’s kisses from his lips, his arousal has dropped, but only a little. He reaches out with his free hand and strokes his fingertips over Jai’s sculpted abs.

“So have you,” Jai’s hand covers Logan’s and moves it lower, he’s teasing himself using Lo’s hand and he groans. “This is different to how it was with her and that suits me just fine.” Reluctantly Jai pulls Logan’s hand off him, his palm is shiny so Jai raises it to his lips and licks.

Logan’s skin goosebumps at that, the play of tongue over his skin, his fingers still tingling from the feel of Jai’s thick erection. “What makes you think I’ve dated before?” he whispers, his pupils blowing, his eyes darkening by the second.

“You told me you’d had a lover …” Jai can see Lo’s chest rising and falling as he takes deeper breaths, he lifts Logan’s glass out of his hand and sets it on the night stand. There’s not much left in his own glass now and Jai uses his free hand to press Logan back a little as he rises up, “I always wanted to do this …” Jai adds as he tips the last of his wine down Lo’s chest then dips to chase it with his tongue.

Logan laughs as he wriggles under Jai’s mouth, “That tickles!” his hands move down over Jai’s head, fingers playing through thick blond hair. “I...we didn’t date...not like this...” he finally squeals when Jai licks around his navel.

That is the most wonderful sound in the world and Jai can’t help but laugh right back while he continues down Logan’s body. He’s noticed that while Lo is still interested it’s waned somewhat and Jai sets himself to getting his boy right back where he was.

“Oh my god!” Logan sucks in a harsh breath when Jai sucks the head of his dick, his need comes roaring back with a vengeance. “Ohnonononono...you need to fuck me, please Jai, please I want your cock in me...please....”

“Soon,” Jai wraps his large hands around Lo’s torso and slowly rolls him, kissing and nipping until he has his boy laying over the pillow pile, his lovely ass up and ripe for the picking. “Can’t fuck you dry baby,” his teeth scrape over the fullness of one mound while his hand squeezes the other, “gotta get you all wet first.” With his hands almost covering Logan’s ass Jai pulls the cheeks apart and blows a stream of warm air before laying his mouth to Lo’s hole.

Logan can’t find it in himself to keep still and he sees no reason why he should, Jai is determined to use him so he’s determined to enjoy it as much as he can - he lifts his hips and pushes back against that demandingly wicked tongue. “Hmm eat it Jai...s’the best ass you’ve ever tasted huh?”

“Cheeky,” Jai grins thinking if they were in a scene he’d gag Logan and watch him drool. Putting that thought well aside he presses a long finger into Logan’s ass. He suppresses his smile as he moves his mouth down to gently bite the root of his boy’s cock at the same time as he presses on his prostate. _That’s what you get for talking back._

Logan is about to protest he’s not being ‘cheeky’ but the words, and all thought, are lost the moment Jai makes _that_ move. He thumps the bed as he sucks in air, “Now! Fuck me now....now!” he demands, getting uncharacteristically demanding. “I mean it Jai...no more...”

Again Jai thinks, ‘if we were in scene’ and again he pushes it aside, tomorrow he will take time to think about why he’s thinking about sceneing all of a sudden. If they were in scene he would definitely make Logan wait longer and the mood Jai is in he could wait for another hour. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” Jai teases as he backs away. Then “Fuck, forgot the rubber.” He smacks a loud kiss on Logan’s ass, “Hold that thought baby.”

Logan grits his teeth, his hips keep moving as he fucks the pile of pillows, the high end cotton rubbing against his dick. “Hurry up....” He can hear Jai moving around and he vows to hide condoms all over the bedroom tomorrow - just to be sure.

Jai is pleased with himself, just like being able to walk and talk at the same time, he’s been able to find a condom, roll it on and slick himself within a minute. “Are you ready then?”

“Yes! Shut up and fuck me...” Logan growls, he’s so on edge he’s ready to start finger fucking himself if Jai doesn’t hurry the fuck up.

“Okay Mr. Impatient Pants,” Jai chuckles but his laughter fades as soon as his cockhead contacts Logan’s asshole. He takes his time sliding in, sighing, loving the feeling of Lo’s ass all but sucking him in, his fingers digging in to the smooth skin over his Logan’s hips.

Letting out a long, low noise Logan tucks his ass up tight against the cradle of Jai’s hips, he wastes no further breath on talking, he simply starts to use his body to get what he craves, and to get Jai as desperate as he is.

It doesn’t take much, just knowing that Logan needs him gets Jai worked up. Still he maintains a steady rhythm, each thrust runs the length of Jai’s cock from root to tip - all the way in and all the way out - his orgasm building delightfully.

Pushing back into each thrust, Logan angles his hips so Jai is nudging right over his prostate with each wicked push pull, sweat blossoms over his skin and he gives up each noise, each stuttered breath like a gift. “M’close...so close....”

And now that his boy is getting close Jai wants his hands on him, he thrusts in and reaches around to pull Logan upright against his chest then wraps his right hand around Lo’s cock. “Come for me … milk it from me baby boy.”

The sudden movement, the man handling have Logan’s headspace shifting, then two words, the same ones that caught him out just yesterday. _Baby boy_ innocuous enough separately, powerful when used together.

Turning his head, his mouth pressed to the line of Jai’s jaw, he whispers out in a voice gone rough. “Yes Daddy,” and moments later his hips snap, his semen spilling out over Jai’s fingers, onto the bed, his ass clamping down hard on Jai’s dick.

There’s a twist and grip in Jai’s gut that is new, very very new, and he’s coming before he’s even aware. Jai remembers the awakenings of his kink and they were as slow as the education and evolution of his pleasures. _This_ is nothing like anything that has happened before.

Jai holds Logan to him as he slumps back to the bed, his cock still hard and still inside, and wraps his arms tightly around his baby’s chest. His, “Baby boy.”

Logan hums out a noise merely to show he’s present, if not coherent. Eyes closed he revels in the closeness, the intimacy and the floaty head space of an intense fuck.

END

Comments welcome and screened.


	15. Winding Down

Players only, backdated to mid August, 2014.

 

Jai and Logan’s San Fran adventure continued through a saturday afternoon bar-b-que with George and Jeff that went on late into the night, Jai much more relaxed and feeling like these men could actually be his friends and he’s put it all down to Logan’s presence.

Sunday morning saw Jai drag Lo out of bed and down to The Wharf for breakfast followed by a trip to The Castro to show him the site for their development and of course the street itself - those are two places that Jai is convinced anyone seeing the city for the first time should experience. He thinks that he can’t wait to show his own home town to Lo in the same way, Sydney is even more beautiful to Jai.

Their afternoon flight gave Jai time to convince Logan that he could stay the night and go with Jai to the office in the morning. Jai wants to cook for him again and, “there’s a bucket of ice cream in the freezer that I can’t possibly eat all by myself.”

Logan slides his ass onto the stool at the breakfast bar and watches Jai move around the kitchen. He’s tired, but content, the weekend has been fun, and provided him with a huge amount of stuff to think about. Not just about Jai and their ‘thing’, but himself and his perception of himself. Big stuff. His ass is pleasantly sore from sex, the lovebites Jai marked him with on their first night have mostly faded, the headspace of their intense intimate encounters is not so far away he can’t recall how good it feels.

Jai’s decided on homemade pizza, it’s good and easy and you can make as much or as little as you need. “How hungry are you Lo?” Jai breaks into Logan’s musing, ducking his head into his boyfriend’s line of vision, “You want a drink?”

“Hmm, yeah, quite a bit, and water please,” Logan blinks and smiles up at his lover. _huh, my **lover** , he really is mine...this gorgeous smart man is...mine._

“Ice?” Jai asks, not really expecting an answer. He fills a tall glass and sets it in front of Logan, dropping a kiss to his forehead. “Are you okay baby? You seem a million miles away.”

“I’m just tired, got a lot to think about,” Logan shrugs and pulls the drink closer, his thumb rubbing the side of the glass. “M’fine,”

“Yeah,” Jai nods, “I hear you.” He returns to the other side of the counter and dinner preparations. Competently dicing tomatoes, olives, feta, onions and bacon, Jai spreads the ingredients over some flatbread adding cheese before sliding it into the oven. He sets the timer for twelve minutes and takes his wine to the stool next to Logan. “We’ve covered a lot of ground this last few weeks, it’s no wonder we both have a lot on our minds.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Logan leans into Jai and presses a kiss to his jersey covered shoulder before righting himself and taking a drink from his glass. “You’re a complication I hadn’t anticipated,” His smile is wry, but warm.

"Cest la vie," yeah, it's a complication but not a bad one. Jai can't seem to help himself when he's near Lo, he closes the distance between them again, like he's done so often this weekend, and kisses his boy tenderly, compelled by his beauty.

“C’est la vie? Really?” Logan shakes his head and laughs when Jai pulls away. “I had plans man, you’re messing with my plans,”

Jai laughs too, his guts knotting happily in response to Lo’s laugh and that’s something that’s happening more often - his laugh and Jai’s reaction to it. Jai is feeling a whole slew of emotions that have eluded him until now, not just his need to protect Logan but a desire to just _be_ with him - that is definitely a first for Jai. “Baby, I of all people know that _plans_ can change,” he answers and adds another kiss just because.

“You of all people?” Logan nudges Jai away, intrigued by the statement. “What’s that mean huh?”

“I change plans all the time for my clients, constantly, and until the job is done there’s always changes.” The oven beeps and Jai reluctantly leaves Lo’s side to get their dinner out.

“Oh, I thought you meant something more personal,” Logan takes a longer drink of his water before slipping from his seat to pull plates from a cupboard. He offers them up to Jai and retakes his seat.

“That too,” Jai grins, he’s coming to love this domestic side of them too, how Lo knows where everything is in his kitchen and how to work the coffee maker, “I didn’t have any personal plans.”

“Yeah, but I did,” Logan points out. “Keep my head down, keep working as many shifts as I can, save every cent, get a car and then look at college when I have enough money put aside I can go part time at the club to study,” he looks up at Jai. “That’s my plan, it did not include a boyfriend,”

It’s on the tip of Jai’s tongue to tell Logan that he wouldn’t need to work if he let Jai take care of him and it’s a revelation to Jai. He busies himself with cutting pizza and topping up their glasses while he rolls it around in his head - sure he’s caught these kinds of thoughts drifting through his mind in the past weeks but never so to the fore as that one. “It’s a good plan,” he tells Logan as he sits next to him.

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’, there?” Logan barely glances at his plate. “It’s a great plan, I just have to figure out how to work you into it,” _For as long as you’re around anyway,_

“No ‘but’, it is a great plan,” Jai will not make the offer, Logan has been very clear about his independence, “and you better make sure I fit into it!” Jai smiles for Lo but his head is still catching up … _How do you know what it is? When your world tips to the side and your heart is twice the size it was and you’ve never felt anything like this before?_

Unconvinced that Jai is being totally open with him, Logan’s brow wrinkles for a moment, then he turns his attention to the slices of pizza laid out before him. “I’m going to try Jai,” he assures his lover. “But some weeks will be difficult, between your work and mine, we’ve been lucky to get this much time together this early on,”

“Yeah,” Jai agrees, “I’ll have more trips up north and they won’t be nearly as much fun as this weekend.” It’s the part of his job that hasn’t been an issue until now, working locally has meant being at home, that didn’t matter before and now that it does matter he’s going to be away from it. “There’ll be times when I have to be there for most of the week,” he sighs, “gonna miss you then baby.”

“We’ll manage,” Logan nods, after all he’s coped admirably on his own until now. Having Jai in his life is rather wonderful and different, it is causing him a certain level of disruption, something Logan had rather hoped he’d finally erased from his life once he started work at the club.

 

~*~

Without any real discussion they head upstairs fairly early and shower together, touching but not teasing. The moon is hovering over the ocean, spilling a soft light on the cool white sheets.

Jai presses Logan onto his back with tender kisses and sure hands, "Want you again Lo," he nuzzles his boy's neck, "may I?"

He loves that Jai asks, even at the end of a weekend of sex, Logan nods mutely, laying his hands on Jai’s shoulders and stroking the warm, firm skin. He tilts his head, allowing his lover all the room he wants to kiss him.

He’d bite on Lo’s earlobe but Jai isn’t interested in getting his boy all hot and bothered tonight, they’ve had that this weekend and he knows he’ll want it again tomorrow. Tonight is different, there’s been a shift in their relationship and Jai feels the need to express the deep emotions in him.

He rises up and leaves off Lo as long as it takes to secure lube and a condom then resumes his attentions, long searching kisses and firm yet tender caresses until eventually he pushes Logan’s legs apart and slides a slick finger between his cheeks.

Making a soft noise, Logan’s hips rise up to meet that searching touch, his lips part and he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. There’s something different about this...the way Jai had initiated all their encounters over the weekend had been in a manner Logan was very familiar with, he’d been objectified - to a greater or lesser degree, the focus of Jai’s lust and his need, this...this is very far removed from that.

“Jai?” Lo’s voice is breathier than he’d expected, then as that finger slips home he gives up another low sound of pleasure.

“Hmmm?” Jai only adds another finger to the first as a cursory preparation, he’s sure that after the last few days Logan doesn’t need any more. He doesn’t bother with his usual attentions to Lo’s cock and ass, as much as he loves that, it seems too crude for now.

Whatever Logan felt the need to question is long gone when Jai fucks him with those two fingers, his own press harder into the meat of his lover’s shoulders in reply. His skin flushes with arousal and his eyes darken as his pupils blow wide.

Logan’s body tells Jai it is ready as much as those dark eyes do, he extracts his fingers and gracefully replaces them with his manhood. Held up on his elbows with his hands tucked under Logan’s shoulders Jai thrusts slowly and deeply, his mouth on his lover’s.

Wrapping his legs around Jai’s waist, Logan opens up - once more assailed by the feeling of being overwhelmed by Jai’s size and strength. He hums into the kiss, one hand slipping up into Jai’s hair line. Whatever this is....Logan finds he likes it

A long time later, maybe it’s twenty minutes - maybe it’s two hours, Jai finally feels his need building, he can’t remember a time when sex has been so slow and taken so long without him having to have a sub begging and crying - he understands that is part of who he is but this, what he’s doing, is not anything he thought he needed. Until now.

For his part, Logan is pliant beneath Jai’s all consuming attentions, the sex is incredible for all it’s so slow, with none of the frenetic energy they usually share. Even so, Logan is breathless, sweaty and his dick is smearing both their bellies with copious amounts of precum.

“Don’t want this to end,” Jai’s forehead is resting on Logan’s, he’s still rocking in and out of his boy, their lips swollen and kissed dry, his cock flexing and aching. “Wanna do this forever.”

“Not going anywhere,” Logan whispers, “We have other nights together,” And just like that he sees a future for them beyond the next date, the next fuck.

_I want you every night_ \- With that thought Jai stills and comes, his lips pressed to Lo’s.

Jai’s completion is sudden given that just a moment ago he’d stated his desire to prolong the encounter. Logan holds on, letting Jai finish, kissing him back with all his own need.

Usually Jai is at least panting right after he’s come, tonight his breath is even if slightly deeper, his cock is still hard though. “What do you need Lo?”

“Just...” Logan blinks, his hips still moving even if Jai’s still. “Just...your hand...” he stutters, close enough it won’t take long, and utterly bemused by Jai’s demeanor.

He pulls back, his cock deep inside, and wraps a hand around Lo’s, thrilled that it’s so slippery. “So beautiful …” Jai murmurs as he dips down and takes Logan’s ear gently between his teeth.

“Oh!” Logan shudders, both touches light him up in seconds, his skin goosebumping. “Oh fff,” the sound trails off as his nails score the skin over Jai’s shoulders.

“Come on baby,” Jai croons then immediately bites down again whilst his hand maintains a steady rhythm.

That’s all he needed. Logan’s mouth opens into a perfect ‘O’ as his hips rise and his cock spills over Jai’s clever fingers.

Waiting until every clutch and flutter of Lo’s ass has ceased, every pulse and drop from his cock, Jai then pulls out but not before he kisses his boy once more, deeply, searching, pouring all of himself into it. “Be right back baby, don’t move,” Jai is only gone as long as it takes to grab a cloth from the ensuite and dispose of the condom, once they are clean he is back with his arms around Logan.

Logan’s retreated to that place where he’s all wide eyed, taking everything in. His focus on Jai and every little wrinkle of his forehead, each tick of his mouth. Something’s changed - and he’s at a loss to point his finger on it, or if it’s a good thing or not.

Jai tosses the cloth toward the bathroom where it hits the floor softly then settles down, pulling Logan across into his arms. “Are you okay? Comfortable?”

A mute nod and Logan nibbles on his lower lip as he settles his cheek against Jai’s chest, his fingers rubbing and teasing the light fuzz that grows between Jai’s pecs.

It’s only now that Jai realises his boy is uncharacteristically quiet, he drops a kiss to Lo’s head and asks gently, “Are you sure? You’ve been very quiet all night.”

Lo tilts his chin up, eyes cutting to Jai’s face. “Yeah, just tired, head full of stuff,” he nods again and looks back to his fingers.

“Okay baby,” Jai is also very tired, his eyes are heavy and he can feel himself sinking, “I’m right here baby boy …”

By the time Logan looks up again, it’s clear Jai is asleep. Wriggling a little he spends the next half an hour or so just watching his lover sleep, the light of the moon providing just enough illumination. tired he might be, but his head is too full of ‘stuff’ to let him rest.

He gives up at some point and slips out of bed, snagging one of Jai’s dressing gowns and wrapping it around him, it’s too long, hanging a few inches below his knees, but it’s warm and he ties the belt tight before heading back down stairs.

Jai stirs and rolls over expecting to encounter a warm body just like he’d found the previous nights and is fast becoming accustomed to, he comes fully awake when he realises Logan isn’t there. Hoping that his boy is all right but wanting to make sure Jai pads down the hall, when he doesn’t see Lo anywhere he descends the stairs, “Lo?”

Logan’s curled up on the sofa, a mug of warm milk in his hands, it’s dark, and he’s staring out of the huge windows to the beach and the sea beyond. In the quiet he can hear the water. He glances up when he hears foot falls.

“Here,”

“What are you doing up?” Jai scrubs a hand over his face and joins Lo on the lounge, goosebumps rising on his bare skin when the cool fabric touches.

“I couldn’t get to sleep, so I did what I do at home, hot milk and the couch,” He doesn’t tell Jai he sleeps on his sofa as much as he sleeps in his own small bed. “I usually manage to drop off that way,”

“Come here,” Jai holds out his arms for Logan to climb into his lap, “I’m glad you feel at home here.”

Careful not to spill his half full cup of milk, Logan settles in Jai’s embrace. He looks up at that. “I didn’t say that,” he murmurs, his tiredness making him more honest than he might otherwise be. “But there’s nothing worse than laying beside someone who is asleep if you can’t,”

 

“Yeah, and you did what you do at home.” Jai strokes Lo’s back, runs his fingers through his hair, presses kisses to his temple and it takes everything in him to bite back how much he wants it to be his home.

“‘Cept no Dwight,” Logan’s smile is lopsided. “He always curls up on the crook of my legs and purrs until I sleep,” He blows out a soft sigh.

“I can get behind you and purr,” Jai teases, “but that’s not going to get you off to sleep is it?” He rubs his nose behind Lo’s ear before kissing his cheek, “So when do I get to meet this cat?”

Logan laughs at that, “‘this cat’, my very best friend?” he shakes his head. “I dunno, soon, I guess, you can’t sleep over at mine though, and he hates everyone, except Ginny,”

 

“Okay, soon. Are you coming back to bed?” Jai is thinking of having to work tomorrow, he’d much rather spend another day with Lo but with Friday’s meeting a complete success he’s got mountains of work ahead, the design is just the beginning.

“Yeah sure,” Logan’s still not sure he’ll get to sleep, but Jai’s warm and the bed comfortable - there are far worse places to be. “Can we crank a window so I can listen to the sea?” He asks as he climbs off Jai’s lap and sets his cup aside.

“Sure,” Jai holds out his hand and leads Logan toward the stairs. When they get to the upstairs landing Jai’s eyes flick to the left for a second, toward a closed door, then he turns to the right where his bedroom is.

Lo only sheds the dressing gown when he’s sat on the bed, then he crawls under the covers and waits, wanting to press himself against Jai. “Thanks for this weekend, it’s been fun,” he murmurs, smothering a yawn.

“It’s been wonderful, being with you all the time,” Jai opens the window a crack, the breeze is cool so he tosses a cotton blanket over the bed and slides in next to his boy, “Goodnight Lo.”

Logan’s reply is lost as he nuzzles his face into Jai’s side and throws an arm over him. Now he’s back in bed, he finds he really is ready to sleep - and it comes quickly.

END

Comments welcome and screened.

 


	16. Normality.

Players only, backdated to August, 2014.

 

Logan made his way home from Jai’s office via cab, he’s waved off the offer of a Cit car, instead opting for the more mainstream, but perfectly acceptable, mode of transport. He’d spent the afternoon doing his laundry and tidying up his small flat before heading off to work for a late shift. He had one booking for midnight, other than that he’d be designated to work the bar, he’s lost in thought as he gets ready, pulling on some some PVC shorts, and mussing up his hair with product before smudging his eyes with black liner.

The face that stares back at him from the mirror, is not the boy who’d just spent a weekend in polite company, wearing designer clothes and being treated like a prince by his new boyfriend.

_My name is Wade._

Jai’s day is the total opposite, he’s still at the office at 8pm up to his elbows in paper and swearing yet again that he needs to cut it down somehow, it seems that contractors are stuck in the eighties and don’t believe in email. He’s had all this put aside until the go-ahead and once he dragged it out there seemed no end.

Growling from his stomach alerts Jai to the time and he groans as he swipes a hand over his face, he briefly considers heading to Citadel for food and a drink but that’s tempered rudely by the fact that he’s not allowed to see his boy at work and Jai knows that if he sees Lo he’s going to want him.

_Maybe it’s time to give up my membership._

Jai pulls up at the first take-away that he knows is clean, it’s Mexican, and orders food to go, he’s hardly spoken to David today and isn’t in any mood to talk to anyone who isn’t Logan, so he pulls into a parking space and eats in his car. A feeling of desperate loneliness comes over him when he looks at the empty passenger seat and wishes it was full.

After showering Jai falls into bed and wraps his arms around the pillow Lo used, exhausted, and he eventually falls asleep.

Logan makes it home just before dawn, he’d showered at work before changing back into his own clothes, so all he has to do when he stumbles through his front door is put down food for Dwight and fall into bed after shedding his clothes in a pile at the end of it. He’s exhausted, and he falls asleep within moments.

Logan’s up again by midday. He shuffles around his living room with a bowl of strawberries and a mug of coffee, settling on the sofa and tugging the throw around him, only then does he reach for his phone. He thumbs through his contacts until he gets to Jai’s number. Then he presses ‘call’.

Jai can hear his phone rattling against the desk top and he pats down the papers to locate it and when he does and sees Logan’s name on the screen he quickly answers, “Hey baby,” a huge smile stealing any other words.

“Hey you,” Logan’s smile is a direct response to the one he can hear in Jai’s voice. “How are you? Super busy?”

“Yep, but not too busy to talk to you,” _never too busy for you_ , “you just getting up?”

“Yeah, fell into bed just after 5, I’m curled up on my sofa, in my pj’s, with a bowl of strawberries and a coffee,” Which he lifts to his lips to sip, it’s strong and sweet.

“Sounds good,” Jai groans, he can imagine what that looks like and wishes he was there. “I’m looking at my desk covered in papers for the rest of the week. This is the only part of this job I really don’t like, sorting out contractors. Down here I have a few guys that I can rely on but I don’t know many up in SF and when I think I’ve got one I call only to find out they can’t do it! I’m a little frustrated.”

“Well hire someone in to do that shit, it’s not like you can’t afford it,” Logan sets down his mug and eyes up the bowl of fruit, selecting a particularly large strawberry first. “Get in someone newly qualified, someone you can mold to how you like to work, train them up,” It seems perfectly obvious to Logan.

“Okay, as soon as I get time,” Jai smiles, Lo’s right, “thing is, and maybe you haven’t noticed this,” he adds lightly, “I’m a bit of a control freak at work.”

“Get David to do the preliminary screening, after all he’d have to like them too, that way all you’ll have to do is a couple of interviews to pick someone. And yes, I had noticed, which is why I said get someone newly qualified, someone you can make work how you want. Your office is big enough to slot another desk in, you can keep an eye on them, but get them doing the grunt work for you.” Hmm, Logan’s spent plenty of time making idle chitchat with clients who are successful business men to have picked up a few things along the way. “It’d mean more time to hang out with me when I’m free,”

_When I’m free._ Jai sighs, “Hmmm, you’re right,” he scrubs a hand back through his hair, messing it all over again. “They don’t actually have to be qualified, I just have to trust them …” and that’s about the hardest thing in this town. “I’ll think about it, but this one is huge Lo, I can’t afford to have someone give their dodgy uncle a job, not this time.”

“Talk to David - you trust him, I’m sure he can come up with something,” Logan picks up another strawberry. “Anyway I’m working for the next three days, then I have two days off, before I make plans with Ginny, I thought I should give you the first option on my time,”

 

“That’s Friday?” Jai wants to take it off to be with Lo but he can see this week it isn’t going to happen and he sighs again, “Dinner? And stay over, we can swim on Saturday if you want? Your first lesson.”

“Yeah cool, I can go do some stuff with Ginny during the day and then head over to yours,” He tucks his feet up under him and continues, “I need to be at work for midday on Sunday, so I could go straight from yours?”

“Yeah baby, I’ll drive you in,” Jai’s heart swells at the thought of a day and two nights with his boyfriend but it’s heavy with knowing he has to wait three days to get it. “Lo, sorry I’m so grumpy, I just miss you so much baby… Come to the office when you’re ready on Friday, I’ll be here.”

“You don’t sound grumpy, you just sound busy,” Logan shrugs it off. “And I’ll come straight to the house if you don’t mind? I promised I’d hang with Ginny, she’s not seen much of me recently,”

“You’re just making sure I go home,” Jai smiles, tired but happy. “Are you sure about getting there? It’s a long way out.”

“I’ll get a club car and charge it to your account,” Logan laughs, his tone impish. “Couple more months and I’ll be able to afford my own car, then it won’t be an issue,”

That brings a genuine smile to Jai’s face, “Good, text me when you’re on your way …” he swallows hard, hand covering his eyes, “I miss you baby.”

“It’s only been one night Jai...” Logan’s voice drops and his tone becomes gentle. “And now we’ve got plans, okay?”

“Yeah I know, sorry,” Jai’s hand slides to the back of his head, “I guess I just need to get away from my desk … I gotta go, call me again okay? Anytime.”

It feels to Logan that he’s said something wrong, Jai’s reaction giving mixed messages, on one hand he’s pulling away, on the other he’s saying ‘call me anytime’ - confused, Logan’s brow wrinkles up and tucks his knees up tighter. “Um, yeah, okay,” he murmurs. “Bye,”

“Bye baby,” Jai suddenly finds he’s having to stop himself adding to that, it’s another thing he has to think about.

After disconnecting the call Jai looks up to see David leaning against the office door smiling sadly, “You’re really gone on him huh?” David comes in and sits on the other side of Jai’s desk, he’s never seen his boss in love before.

Jai nods, “It’s pretty obvious I guess.”

“You’re not seeing him tonight?” David is beyond curious about this whole thing.

“Nope,” Jai shakes his head, “he works nights mostly, and weekends, we’ve got to take it when we can get it.” He looks at David and sighs, “It won’t be so bad when this is sorted and I can get away during the day.”

“What can I do to help?” David indicates the mess on the desk.

“You can find me another honest person in LA,” is Jai’s suggestion.

~*~

It is Thursday afternoon and when the calls he is making start going to voicemail Jai finally looks at the clock, it’s after six, he sighs at another day gone and seemingly little progress made, he only has one more day to wait to see his boy and that twenty four hours are going to be the longest he has endured. Although it is frustrating Jai has made some inroads and considering David’s offer and the fact that Jai is serious about making him a partner he sets to work on a list of phone calls for David to make and what he needs from the contractors in question.

It takes the best part of an hour but once Jai is done he’s feeling okay with taking the day tomorrow to be at home (and reachable should David need him). It’s something he should have done sooner and, although Logan is right in Jai needing another employee, handing off some of the work to David will help him right now.

On the drive home Jai decides that while he has been focused on one baby he has completely ignored his other ‘baby’. A sandwich and a beer later, Jai enters his garage workshop and flicks on the light. When he next bothers to check the time it’s closing in on 3am and Jai is finally tired enough to sleep.  
  
END

 

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	17. Friday night

Players only, backdated to late August, 2014.

Jai wakes with a start when his phone rings around 10am on Friday morning, he’d pulled the blinds so he wasn’t woken by the daylight. It’s David with some questions and some good news and Jai is pleased. He spends some time preparing for the night, groceries enough to last him and Lo three days if they decide not to leave the house.

A good part of his afternoon is spent in town, he sees the mechanic who has been helping with parts for his Corvette, the car needs a tune and a final check over before he heads to the DMV to get her properly on the road registered (insurance already in place).

Logan had spent a good day with Ginny, he’d treated her to brunch then they’d spent time out hunting through a few thrift stores searching for ‘treasure’ - namely items Ginny could use for her latest art project. After which they’d stopped off to take in a movie and binged on popcorn and nachos.

It’s after 6 when Logan climbs out of the club car and up to Jai’s front door. He’d missed the other man, not so much as to lose sleep, but enough that Jai had not been far from his thoughts.

Pressing the bell he leans against the wall and waits.

When Jai hears the car come into the yard he tosses off his apron, the bell ringing as he’s coming downstairs. He’s grinning widely as he opens the door and sees his boy there, all lazy and leaning and fucking gorgeous. “Hi there beautiful.”

“Hey,” Jai’s smile is infectious and Logan’s grinning back equally as brightly.

Feeling like there’s absolutely no reason not to Jai wraps Logan up in his arms and kisses him deeply, eventually pulling back to breathe. “Hey,” he whispers against Lo’s lips, “missed you.”

Dropping back down onto his feet, Logan blinks. licking the taste of Jai from his mouth. He eyes the other man, “Have you been to work today?” he asks, suspicious of Jai’s somewhat disheveled appearance.

“Not exactly,” Jai smiles back, he can’t help it, “I didn’t go to the office but I’ve had David on the phone a dozen times.” He steps back and indicates the door, “Come in, there’s something I want to show you.” Instead of heading upstairs in the direction of their delicious smelling dinner, he leads Lo to the garage through the internal door and flicks on the light, “She’s all ready to hit the road. What do you think?”

It’s almost comical the way Logan looks between Jai and the car - and back again. “But...I thought...huh?” he moves over to the vehicle and reaches out to touch the bonnet, just pulling up short from touching the highly polished paintwork. “I thought you had weeks of work left to do?” He glances up at his boyfriend.

“It looked worse than it was, the buffing took a few hours and the hood still had to go on,” Jai doesn’t stop where Logan did, he slides his hand over the smooth, midnight blue surface, “but the engine was mostly together.” Turning toward his lover Jai grins wider, “All that’s left now is to take her for a decent run.”

“It’s a really beautiful car Jai,” Logan’s attention is back on the car, he moves around it, taking in each curve, each line. The gorgeous paintjob, the polished chrome trim. “How about we get up before dawn and drive out, watch the sun come up?”

“Sounds perfect,” Jai wraps his arms around his lover from behind and drops a kiss to his neck, just above his t-shirt, “you’ve got your licence right?”

Logan twists around in surprise. “My licence? Oh no, I’m not driving this, no way,” He shakes his head, horrified at the thought, the responsibility. “I wouldn’t enjoy it Jai, I’d be so worried about damaging it, but thank you, for the thought,”

Jai laughs out loud, "It's just a car," he's amused and can totally understand Lo's reluctance, "but yeah, she's a whole lot of car." He hugs his boy again, drinking in his warmth and scent, "Let's go up, I'm treating you to a traditional Aussie dinner, leg of lamb and baked vegies, sound okay?"

“Sounds awesome!” Logan wriggles in Jai’s embrace, enjoying the contact. “You remembered I like lamb?” He twists in Jai’s arms, thankful his lover isn’t pressing the point about the car.

"Of course, and it'll be just about ready." There's time enough for another thorough kiss and then Jai backs off and leads Logan upstairs by the hand. As usual Lo sits at the counter while Jai finishes dinner preparations, he smiles and pours them some wine, "Now before you say you don't like red wine I know that but you should at least try this, it's not like any red you've had before."

He pours the chilled wine into large glasses and drops an ice cube into each, “It’s Lombardy style, you might not like it but as you can see it’s a lighter colour and it’s also lighter in flavour, sweeter.” As he hands it over he adds with a smile, “It’s a Italian style wine so when we go to a Italian restaurant it’s what we’ll drink.”

Logan eyes the wine suspiciously. So far he’s found all the reds he’s tried far too dry. “I thought putting ice in wine was sacrilege?” He picks the glass up and swirls it around, admiring the pretty colour. He’s also amused at Jai’s natural assumption that they will be attending an Italian restaurant at some point. “Okay, let me try it,” He concedes lifting the glass to his lips.

Jai’s flicked off the pot he’s steaming vegetables in and pulled the lamb out of the oven to let it rest, he’s loved rediscovering how much he likes to cook for others. “So what do you think?”

It’s more subtle, sweeter as Jai said, he nods. “Yeah, I think I can drink this,” Logan takes another sip and rolls the wine around his mouth.

Beyond pleased Jai picks up his glass and taps it to Logan’s, “Here’s to widening our horizons.” The roast is ready to be carved so Jai sets to work dishing up for them. The meat is seasoned with fresh rosemary and garlic, there’s baked potatoes tossed in sea salt and olive oil to make them crisp, glazed carrots and steamed beans all covered with a drizzle of dark gravy.

“Oh my god, this looks amazing,” Logan eyes the food, and he’s salivating. Whilst he can cook - the basics at least - he loves eating, and this is a feast. “You’re spoiling me again,”

“No such thing,” Jai places the plates on the table and a kiss on Lo’s head before retrieving the bottle then sitting down, “dig in, don’t let it go cold.” It’s good even if he does say so himself, Jai hadn’t realised he was hungry and although he was cooking eating has been the last thing on his mind - this boy being the first.

“Yeah there is,” Logan retorts as he picks up his silverware. “Just....just don’t do too much,” he loads up his fork with some lamb, brings it to his mouth. “I’m not used to it, it can get a little oppressive,” he finishes before putting the food in his mouth - humming out a noise of absolute pleasure moments later.

Despite Logan's protests, now and previously, Jai is not about to change the way he treats Lo. Of course he's not going to tell him that. "I was actually thinking of heading up to Santa Barbara tomorrow, I haven't been there yet."

Swallowing and licking over his lower lip, Logan shrugs. “Sure, just....I only have tomorrow with you remember, I don’t want to waste much of it sat in a car - even that gorgeous car downstairs,”

“Okay baby,” Jai is disappointed but allows that they will get a short drive in the morning and the fact that Logan wants to be with Jai goes a long way to mollifying him, “we can go there another time. After this job I’m going to take some time off, maybe head home for a couple of weeks.”

“Home?” Logan looks up at that, surprised. Jai had seemed more than a little conflicted when they’d talked about ‘home’. “Oh,”

“Yeah, Sydney,” Jai cuts his meat, “I need to see my dad again, soon … this year.” It’s not a trip he particularly wants to take and less so now that he has a reason.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Logan, watches his lover, Jai’s discomfort clear in every line of his body - but Logan has no idea what to say, or how to try and comfort him.

It’s too soon to tell Logan that Jai doesn’t want to go alone, that’s something that he’ll have to bring up at the right time. “Thanks, but let’s not think about that now, there’s not much I can do about it until San Fran is done.”

“How long is the project scheduled for?” Logan gets back to his food, it’s too good not to.

“They want it done this year,” Jai sets his fork down and takes a long swallow, “and it might be, mostly anyway. That’s why I’m going so hard to get the details nailed down, I’d ideally like to be home for Christmas … A lot will depend on construction and if I can get the firm I want then it will be fine. Best result is three months construction and another two to fit it out, they’ll be occupied by February.”

Logan nods, his mouth full of luscious lamb. Christmas is a while off yet - and he’s expecting to spend it on his own, or working. He makes short work of the rest of his dinner, and sets his silverware down to pick up the remains of the wine.

“Then I hope it all goes to plan,” he lifts the glass in toast.

“Thanks baby,” Jai smiles. As he looks at his lovely boy he realises that he’s been altogether too maudlin when he has no need. “But that’s enough talk about work, it’s the weekend and you’re here, I’m happy. So tell me what you did today, where did you and Ginny get to?”

“We went thrift shopping, Ginny’s got a new art project she’s working on, so she needed ‘treasure’,” Logan rolls his eyes with a grin. “Then we hit up a cinema and watched a movie while gorging on cheese nachos and popcorn. It was a good day,”

All of the darkness that threatened Jai has faded and he returns Logan’s smile. “Have you had enough?” Jai indicates Lo’s empty plate then adds, “There’s more but you better leave room for dessert.”

“No, that’s plenty,” Logan nudges the plate away. “It was lovely, thank you,”

“You’re welcome. Now,” Jai stands and stacks the plates, “I have broken with tradition tonight - there are no strawberries for dessert,” of course there are strawberries in the fridge should Lo want them, “we’re having apple crumble. My grandmother’s recipe.”

“Sounds good! Do you mind if we wait a while? Let that go down first,” Logan pats his belly with satisfaction. “Maybe sit out on the deck huh?”

“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute, you wanna take the glasses with you?” Jai deals with dishes then follows Lo with the bottle. Logan is looking out over the ocean and Jai just watches him at first, the setting sun bathing his boy in a soft pink light, impossibly making him even more beautiful. Again Jai is hit by a wave of how much Lo belongs here and is determined that it will happen.

David asked him the day before about how serious it is with Logan and Jai didn’t even need to think before he told David that it was very serious indeed. The reply from his secretary surprised Jai though it shouldn’t have, David told him he knew Jai was in love from the first time Logan came to the office and that it has done Jai the world of good.

Jai swallows the swelling at the top of his chest, all these revelations are going to have to stay his secret for now. “More wine baby?” Jai makes his presence known as he steps away from the door and moves to sit, leaning back into the corner of the sofa, all the better to keep watching.

Logan turns from where he’d been leaning on the railing enclosing the deck, “Yeah, that’d be nice,” he nods, coming over to Jai and sitting down beside him, tucking his leg under him. “You’re so lucky to live here, it’s so beautiful,”

“I am lucky,” Jai replies, “I have so much beauty in my life now,” and he isn’t looking any further than the gorgeous man in front of him. Reaching for Lo is second nature to Jai now, he lifts Logan’s hand to his lips and places a tender kiss on the knuckles, “So much beauty.”

Logan looks down, suddenly flustered, he’s used to being told he’s pretty, hot, other things, usually couched in a sexual fashion, but this isn’t like that, and he’s not sure how to respond. Colour creeps up his cheeks and he shuffles in his spot.

That blush turns Jai’s gut upside down and he surges forward, hands sliding into Lo’s silken hair, lips meeting Logan’s in the most possessive kiss. It surprises Jai that he isn’t immediately turned on, something other than lust is driving him and he tries to send whatever that is to Lo through the kiss.

After a moments surprise, Logan responds, he pushes up on his one leg, leaning in, kissing back, letting Jai plunder his mouth with his tongue. He reaches for Jai’s tee, his hands fisting the cotton as an anchor, as he whimpers into his lover’s mouth.

Jai leans back further, slipping lower and encouraging Logan to follow. He breaks away for long enough to reiterate, “So beautiful,” before wrapping his strong arms around the lithe body on top of him.

Logan is now sprawled over Jai, pinned down by those arms, he wriggles delighted at the way it feels. His hands let go of the fabric of Jai’s top, instead moving up to his neck, his face.

Slipping one hand down and the other up, Jai tries to get Logan even closer, moaning in response to each of Lo’s small sounds. He can feel Logan hardening against him, writhing and while it’s starting to have an affect he’s yet to be aroused. Finally Jai lets off his hold and pulls away, his eyes darting between Lo’s sleepy blues and that swollen mouth. He’s lost for words, wanting to say something, afraid to say anything that will break the spell.

There is something going on, and undercurrent that Logan can’t fathom, something that has Jai biting back words. The energy between them, however, is palpable. “What?” Logan barely mouths the word, his brows drawing together.

At first Jai shakes his head, he doesn’t know _what?_ Then he slides his hand into Logan’s hair and pulls him until their foreheads meet, eyes closed and breathing each other in. “Stay with me,” the words are whispers, scarcely heard above the surf.

Logan’s finger rubs the skin of Jai’s neck, just behind his ear, his frown deepens in confusion. “I _am_ staying with you,” he murmurs back.

Jai very nearly regrets that he spoke, it’s not going to be easy to hear Logan reject him, “Always,” he adds regardless.

Utterly confused Logan shakes his head and presses a kiss to Jai’s mouth. “I don’t know what you mean?” he whispers. “I’m here, now...” It doesn’t even register what Jai is suggesting.

Finally Jai opens his eyes, wet and dark, “All the time,” he sees the need to explain, “live with me?”

It takes a moment for Jai’s words to register, and another for him to _really_ understand, and when he does Logan’s pushing up, hands to Jai’s chest in an effort to extricate himself - to make space for him to process. “I...but...I...” he stutters out. “I can’t,” he ends up blurting out.

The hesitation gives Jai an unreasonable hope, “Why not?”

“For a myriad of reasons,” Logan climbs off Jai and sets himself on the couch properly, his arousal of just moments ago gone, leaving a cold ache.

And there it is, he knew it was coming and still didn’t prepare. Jai nods, he understands too well. “Thought you’d say that, sorry.”

Jai’s reply leaves him even more disorientated, and Logan wraps his arms around himself and chews on his lower lip, he’s so far out of his depth here he has no idea what to say, or what to do. He knew they were having a lot of fun together, and he’s very very fond of the other man, he’s been allowing himself to feel things he’s deliberately shut himself off from in the past...but he had no idea at all that Jai’s thoughts had veered in this particular direction.

What Jai wants now is to shove Logan away but he knows that is his pride talking, old hurts rearing their heads, hurts that have been conquered and left far behind. Instead he moves next to Lo and puts his arm around his boy’s shoulders, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“So why did you?” Logan curls into Jai’s chest, tucking his head into Jai’s neck.

“Because I want you to,” Jai’s promised honesty coming to the fore.

“You don’t know me, not well enough, not to ask that,” Logan points out, glad he can’t look Jai in the eye when he’s snuggled up like this. “And I have my own place, I love my apartment, it’s the first thing I got for myself that I didn’t have to share, and there’s Dwight, and Ginny and work....”

“I know you as well as I need to,” Jai replies with a kiss to the top of Lo’s head, pleased that they can sit close like this and discuss it instead of arguing, “and those things are why I’m sorry. I know you’re happy being independent, I expected you to say no.”

“It’s too soon,” Logan, reiterates. “I don’t need to rush. This thing with you, is new to me, I don’t want to rush it, I want to enjoy each stage, each step,”

“Yeah,” Jai tilts Logan’s face up and presses a closed mouth kiss to his lover’s lips, “we don’t need to rush. You want sweets now? It has to be eaten,” he pleads, hoping for a change in subject.

Oblivious to certain undercurrents, Logan can at least see that Jai needs to redirect them, so he nods. “I’d love some, please,” he nods, and to be honest, he’ll appreciate a few minutes alone to regain his composure.

Despite his passion for wine Jai is not a drinker, it's always for pleasure. Tonight however it's a need. He pours himself a shot of scotch and downs it in one, internally cursing the waste of not appreciating it, he thinks of what a fool he is, letting himself slip when he almost lost Logan before by being too intense and demanding.

When Jai disappears back inside, Logan pushes up from the seating and moves back to the railing, he leans against it, scrubs a hand through his hair and blows out a long breath. To say Jai’s offer came out of left field is an understatement, and Logan hasn’t really digested the enormity of it yet, or what it implies about where Jai is at emotionally with their relationship.

Dealing with the food has a calming effect on Jai, it’s something he doesn’t have to think about; scooping ice cream and dolloping cream over the steaming apple. By the time he carries their bowls back he has his head in some kind of order, willing to apologise again and hope that he hasn’t frightened Lo off for good.

Logan turns around, his back to the beach and the ocean beyond, when he hears Jai reappear, he watches as his lover sets the bowls on the table. He feels a little lost right now, not sure if he should say anything more about earlier, or leave it be and pretend it didn’t happen.

The boy is an open book, the look of confusion is plain for Jai to see, he realises that he thinks of Lo as a boy a lot more than he should and as a man he deserves honesty. Jai aproaches him slowly and stands a step away before reaching for Logan’s hands.

“I know I already said it but I’m sorry for doing that to you, I promised when we started this that I wouldn’t push and I also promised you honesty and openness so there’s something I should tell you.” Jai’s eyes catch a gull dipping over the water and he follows it for a moment before continuing. He finally meets Logan’s eyes, “David told me yesterday that I’m in love with you, I didn’t realise, but i guess it’s true.”

It’s not really a surprise, not if he’s honest, Logan’s known for some time that Jai was much more into him they he could reciprocate. How to deal with that though? Logan blinks and has to consciously not pull his hands out of Jai’s grasp.

“Okay,” he nods, catching his lower lip between his teeth. At least it wasn’t the kind of declaration that required a similar response.

He’s so torn in that moment, Jai knew all along it was an unreasonable hope that Logan would return his feelings but he didn’t run and that speaks volumes. Jai mentally hears the safety on the gun click back into place and sags, relieved. “I know you don’t feel the same way,” Jai drops Lo’s hands and enfolds him in a hug instead, “it’s okay, I understand.”

Logan’s utterly conflicted when he’s pressed against Jai’s chest. On one hand he wants to slap Jai across the mouth for his presumption that he was ready to hear anything like the things he’s been told this evening, but then his face is pushed against warm jersey that smells of his lover, a scent Logan had started to associate with warmth and safety. His response is indicative of how he’s feeling, it’s neither one thing or the other; he lifts his arms but doesn’t return the hug.

The relief might be there but his despondency remains and when his hug isn’t returned Jai lets go of Logan and steps back. The ball is in Lo’s court now, Jai has laid himself at his boyfriend’s feet emotionally and will have to wait for him.

As soon as there is space between them, Logan crosses his arms over his chest, a subconscious signal he needs physical space. He chews the inside of his mouth, wondering what will be worse, to say what he’s thinking, or say nothing. Blowing out a breath he moves to sit down, curling his legs under him. “You need to give me time to process all this,” And that’s all he can come up with right now.

“Whatever you need,” Jai nods. He’s not really interested in eating but he picks up his bowl, if only to taste, to be sure it’s as good as his grandma made. Before he gets the spoon to his mouth he adds, “The guest room is made up, if you prefer.”

That offer is unexpected - Logan’s gaze cuts to Jai’s face; he knows what that cost. “I may need to do that, thank you,” the words are soft, but not at all hesitant. He’s not about to turn down something he may well need to appease Jai.

Jai nods. Now that he’s started on his sweets he can keep eating, the more he tastes the more homesick he becomes. “You should try this,” he tells Logan, “it reminds me of my grandma. She’s the most amazing woman,” he adds to fill the quiet between them, “the best cook I know. She still cooks every week for meals on wheels.”

It all feels so horribly awkward all of a sudden, Logan nods and picks up the bowl, the first few mouthfuls are eaten automatically, without actually tasting, he’s so twisted up, confused and uncomfortable and it’s increasing by the minute.

The sun is gone completely and the cool air coming off the water is drawing Jai’s skin into goosebumps, it’s obvious that they’re not getting anywhere tonight, the tension around Logan is like a bubble. Jai places his spoon in his bowl, not finishing it despite wanting to, and stands, “I’m going to head upstairs, take a shower… Is there anything you need?”

_Now he asks..._ Logan swallow hard and looks up, “No...thank you, but I’m going to stay down here for a while, listen to the water,” He doesn’t ask if it’s okay, because right now he doesn’t care if it’s okay with Jai or not.

“Well, you know where everything is.” Jai scrapes the rest of his apple into the bin and puts the remains into the fridge, he scribbles out a note and leaves it on the table then looks out from the darkened kitchen before he heads upstairs and his heart aches at seeing Logan all curled up alone.

END

Comments welcome and screened.


	18. In The Dark Of The NIght

Players only, back dated to late August 2014.

 

 

Pulling his legs up, Logan wraps his arms around them and sets his chin on his knees. It’s cool out now it’s dark, the light breeze cuts through his tee, but Logan’s in no rush to go back inside. Instead he stares out into the dark, trying to put his thoughts in order. In just a few short weeks he’s gone from finally being settled and have a Plan for his life - the first time either of those things have ever happened for him, to this. To being offered all _this_. He turns his gaze on the house, the very beautiful, very expensive house - and the man inside it. _Live with me..._ Even if it were that simple, Logan’s not so sure it’s what he wants. He values his own space, having his own things around him, the quiet of his own company.

Scrubbing his hand through his hair, he blows out a breath. As to the rest, Jai’s round about admission of his feelings...that freaks Logan out even more. He’d known for a while that the other man was more invested in their relationship - but to declare ‘love’....Logan is so not ready for that. Despite all the talking they’ve done, all the boundaries he’s tried to set, Jai’s just continued to plow on through them, taking a mile, when Logan’s offered an inch. And now they’re here, with Jai offering and wanting so much more from him.

At some point Logan heads indoors, he makes himself a hot drink, pulls a throw from one of the sofas and heads back out to the deck, wrapping the throw around himself he curls back up and sips from the mug.

Initially he’d had to fight the urge to run, to leave the moment Jai went upstairs, now though Logan’s glad he stayed, sure he can try and salvage something from this that fits what _he_ wants, and what he’s able to give. Even so, when he does head upstairs for bed, at nearly 1am, he doesn’t join Jai, he picks the guest room.

~*~

Jai’s startled awake by the trill of his phone, he immediately gets that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach feeling like he’s only been asleep for moments. He’d waited ages for Logan to come to bed only to hear him moving around in the guest room directly below Jai’s. _At least he didn’t leave,_ was his consolation.

Squinting at the too bright screen he sees ‘Mum’ and has to swallow the bile that was already threatening, she hasn’t had much good news for him recently. The worst part of answering this call is that she usually makes the effort when the hours suit them both, it’s highly unusual for her to ring at 2:30am.

“Hi mum,” Jai answers.

“Hi honey, I’m sorry I woke you but I’m afraid this couldn’t wait another day.”

_Fuck,_ “That’s okay, you know you can call anytime,” he replies quickly. There is worry clear in her voice but no distress so he assumes that his father is still alive and that in itself causes Jai concern - that it’s the first thing he thought of. “What’s up?”

“It’s Andy,” Karen tells him carefully, “they didn’t want you to worry but the cancer is back. I’m so sorry sweety.”

Tears spring to Jai’s eyes and his guts clench up while he listens to his mother tell him that his best friend will be lucky to see next year. “Mum,” he stops her eventually, “thanks for telling me but I have to go now. Say hi to dad. I’ll call you soon, I promise.”

Jai runs to the bathroom and vomits most of last night’s dinner into the toilet. When he is finished he washes away the tears, dries his face and goes to sit in the big chair that faces out over the ocean. He thinks over the years he has known Andy; through school, cricket and football seasons, learning to surf … all the mischief they got up to. He counts Andy as his one true friend.

He watched Andy marry the beautiful Vashti and their two beautiful children born to such young and loving parents. Then it hit, non-Hodgkin lymphoma, but he’d beaten it, nearly three years clear. Jai now wishes he had those years back, if he’d known he’d have stayed in Australia and spent them with Andy.

His mind is running at full speed now, regrets he promised himself he’d never have are looming large; leaving home, leaving his family, leaving the security of a good and fulfilled life for adventure because of the betrayal of a single woman. He truly wonders if she was worth the distance he put between them. After all, what has he accomplished here? A few houses, an office block or two, an apartment building …

Then he looks out over the ocean again, the white phosphoresence on the break the only thing he can see and his eyes flick to the clock. The alarm will go soon and that thought triggers more tears; there is one thing that he wouldn’t have if he didn’t come here, one that he couldn’t bear to lose, and he is downstairs in the guest room.

 

 

END

 

Comments welcome and screened.


	19. Scotch and Ice Cream

Players only, backdated to early September, 2014.

 

 

It’s been six long days since Logan had left Jai’s house returning to his own home, to work. The revelations and declarations had left him mentally reeling, the result of which was a subdued Logan and a boy who had struggled through several scenes before asking to be put on hospitality duties for the rest of the week. When he was home it was all he could do to eat and feed Dwight before falling into bed and finding refuge in sleep.

As the week wore on Logan had slowly picked up, his mood lifting, the situation becoming less terrifying and one he thinks he can deal with - rather one he thinks he wants to engage in. Jai may have been more than a little full on with his attention, his feelings and his offers, but at the end of the day Logan likes him - a lot, he finds Jai warm and funny, affectionate and generous, and then there is that sexual energy. The chemistry between them is undeniable, it’s intense and Logan wants more - he wants to be comfortable enough to submit to Jai’s dominant - as his partner.

Several texts and two short phone calls were all they’d managed all week - not out of choice, but Jai had found himself buried under the workload of his new project and Logan’s shifts had been erratic and long.

All week the tension and frustration has clawed at Jai, he’s set himself an early date for when the majority of his involvement in the project will be over and the pressure that has put on him is immense. He had every intention of seeing Logan but each night has been nine and ten pm at the office, once actually sleeping on his desk unintentionally.

Jai is also feeling a mounting need to scene, he recognises it as something he’s missing with Logan but also a response to the stress of his work. He took Lo’s advice and has had David screening candidates for a supporting role at the firm and has also spoken to his lawyer about what is involved in making it a partnership, neither of which have lessened the load any.

With only a few short hours in which to complete any of his tasks for the week Jai sits at his desk, scrubbing his face, staring at his phone and wondering if it’s worth trying to see Logan. After a minute he swipes the screen and texts, **can I call you?** As he waits for a response he determines that they will find some time, if only briefly. After a four day trip to San Fran next week it will be far too long to be apart.

Logan’s just shoving some groceries in his small fridge when his phone vibrates in his pocket, he scoops it out and smiles at the message, instead of replying he simply hits the ‘call’ button.

“Hi,” Jai smiles automatically, he’s very happy although he’s tired.

“Hello stranger,” Logan shuts the fridge door and pads out to drop down on his old couch. “How are you?”

“Buggered,” Jai sighs, Logan’s voice soothing him, “and not in a good way.”

Brows shooting up, Logan laughs out loud at that. “Nope, can’t imagine that!” he chuckles. “Where are you? Still at the office?”

“Yep, I’m thinking of selling the house and moving in here,” Jai jokes but his heart isn’t in it.

Logan can hear how worn out Jai is in his voice. He peers up at the clock on the shelf and does a quick reckoning on timings.

“How about I meet you at your house in an hour and a half, I’ll bring pizza?” He offers. “I can stop over, I’m not due back at work until tomorrow night,”

That’s about the best news Jai’s had all week, “That would be awesome babe.” The time will allow Jai to clear up here and take a shower before Lo gets there. “Charge a car okay?”

He was going to anyway, Logan laughs. “Will do, see ya there,”

~*~

Pizza box balanced on one hand, his bag in his other, Logan nudges the bell with his elbow.

Jai sets a beer on the coffee table when he hears the car and is opening the door moments after the bell. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he tells Lo, taking the pizza and a kiss as Logan comes through the door.

“Hmm, “ Logan hums out a noise, “You started on beer without me,” he accuses, as he slides past and up into the living area to dump his bag. “C’mon that’s already getting cold and I’m starving,”

“It’s my first,” Jai replies, “I’d be asleep if I had any more. You want one too?” he asks, already heading for the fridge, “Or there’s cherry coke if you want that.”

“Coke please, I’ll have a beer when I’ve eaten,” He slides the pizza on the coffee table and toes off his shoes, discarding his hoodie over the back of the couch before sitting down.

Jai fills a glass with soda and ice and sets it in front of Logan before dropping onto the lounge next to him, “Mmm, smells good,” he hadn’t realised how hungry he was which has been the case most of this past week and he wouldn’t be surprised if he’s dropped a few pounds. Logan on the other hand looks fresh and gorgeous.

“Sooo,” Logan asks around a mouthful of pizza, “How’s it coming along?”

“Good I think, it’s pretty intense right now.” Jai bites into the pizza and humms, adding, “We’re looking for someone to work in the office, I took your advice,” he glances over at Lo, “but that’s proving more of a challenge than the project.”

“There must be graduates who would love to work for someone like you?” Logan frowns as he chases a string of melted cheese with his tongue.

“Yeah,” Jai eyes that tongue and mouth and his own swipes in sympathy, “but they’re not interested in the grunt work, they want to go straight to designing the next Sears Tower. Not what we need.”

“You’ll find someone,” Logan determines as he reaches for a second slice. “Is there ice cream still?”

“Yes, of course,” just like the ever present strawberries. “I just need someone to answer the phone and organise tradesmen, no qualifications needed. Of course everyone who could do the job is waiting to be a super star so they want to be able to go to castings, that makes them less than reliable.” he sits back with a sigh, three slices of pizza demolished and most of his beer gone.

“Enough about work,” tossing the crust back in the box Logan goes for slice number three. “Are you free tomorrow? Or you straight back in first thing?”

“No, I should take a day off,” Jai plonks his empty bottle down and slumps into the cushions, “since you’re free … I can work on Sunday. Why? Do you have plans?”

“Only to make sure you relax and get some rest and maybe molest you a little bit,” Logan pokes his tongue out at his lover.

“That sounds like the perfect plan,” Jai is already starting to relax, the beer doing its job. Not in any mood now to be proactive he pats his lap, “You want to get started on the molesting thing?”

“No,” Logan wrinkles his nose, “Not until I’ve finished my pizza,” he teases. “Then I might sit in your lap and molest you,”

Jai grumps, “I’ve finished.” He pushes himself off the couch with a grunt and picks up his bottle, “You still want that beer?” He asks Lo as he heads for the kitchen and the cupboard where he stores his favourite scotch.

“Yes please,” Logan eyes his lover over the back of the couch as he stuffs the last bite in his mouth. When he’s done he sucks tomato sauce of his thumb and then brushes crumbs from his lap.

After pouring himself a generous two fingers and popping the cap off another beer he returns to the lounge and resumes his previous position, glass perched on the wide armrest after a sip. Jai lets his head fall back on the cushion and closes his eyes.

Logan takes a long drink of his coke, leaving his beer for now. That done he pushes up and crawls down the couch to climb up and settle in Jai’s lap. He slides his arms around his lover’s neck and kisses him. “Missed you,”

Jai smiles into the kiss, hands on Lo’s narrow waist, “Missed you too,” he murmurs and kisses back. This is just about the most perfect moment and one Jai wishes he could come home to every day.

“I did some thinking,” Logan murmurs, nuzzling against Jai’s mouth. “About all that stuff,”

“Hmmm?” Jai’s eyes remain closed but his hands are starting to move, up and down Logan’s back, “and what do you think?” He’s not exactly sure which ‘stuff’ Lo means but expects it to become clear.

“I don’t want to move in with you, but I do want to keep doing this...seeing you, dating, spending the night like this. I love spending time with you, I love how you treat me for the most part, and I do want to get sure enough that I can be the boy you want me to be,”

_Ah, that stuff_ , Jai opens his eyes, Lo’s, dark in the dim light, look right into him, “I told you that you’re already what I want. But if you’re talking about scening then yeah, I do want you to be sure of that but not because you’re not what I want yet. Do you understand?”

“No?” Logan grins, his fingers stroking Jai’s face.

Jai raises an eyebrow, “Okay, I’m tired so maybe that wasn’t clear.” He breathes deep and holds Logan firm, “You are perfect the way you are. Yes I want to scene with you. You, not the _boy_ you think you’re supposed to be.”

“Oh, no I meant ‘boy’ as in the counterpoint to your Dominant, not Wade, you won’t see Wade again, not now,” Logan shakes his head. “It’s just...I’ve not been that to someone before - not like this,”

“Good,” Jai nods, “because I don’t want him,” his brow creases now that he understands another thing that has bothered him, “he isn’t mine.” As Jai considers Logan's words, how he wants to submit, the arousal that was kept at bay by tiredness now hits him. His cock stirs under Lo’s ass and he draws his boy into a deep kiss, “You are.”

“I am?” It’s still a touchy subject for Logan, he doesn’t want to be Jai’s ‘boy’ he wants to be his boyfriend, his lover. ‘Mine’ smacks so much of ownership - and that means D/s.

“M hmmm,” Jai nods, his lips tracing a line along the neck of Lo’s t-shirt, “I’m the one who gets Logan.”

“Yes you are,” Logan smiles at that, a sense of relief washing over him. “And Jai...can I ask something?...”

“Anything,” if Jai feels any trepidation at answering he doesn’t show it.

Logan pulls back a little, but he keeps his hand on Jai’s face, stroking his cheek. “You do get Logan, and no one else does, so I need you to use my name more. You call me ‘baby’ _a lot_ , and I get that it’s a sweetheart name, but other people call me that, only you have my real name, only you can call me ‘Lo’ when we’re being intimate,”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it bothered you, I’ll try to remember,” Jai’s sincere but there’s a small smile playing on his lips, “of course I can’t help it if I have to call you ‘gorgeous’ sometimes, it’s only telling the truth after all.” He gently captures Lo’s hand and kisses the palm then something else occurs to him and he looks up into those blue eyes again, “What about ‘baby boy’?” he asks hesitantly.

Logan is about to tease Jai back about the ‘gorgeous’ comment, but then Jai continues talking, and moments later, Logan’s lips part and he squirms in his lovers lap. “Keep that, for when we play, for when I submit to you,” he replies his voice just a little breathy.

_Oh..._ “Okay,” Jai replies evenly, “it is special.” Logan’s reaction didn’t go unnoticed, the air between them seems to heat a couple of degrees. Jai leans back into the seat, unaware he’d been tensing, and slides his hand up from Lo’s waist to the back of his neck, “Kiss me?”

“Hmm, yes,” Logan nods and with a sultry smile he presses closer, having to shuffle in Jai’s lap so he’s almost laying over his lover’s chest.

Now that they have talked and Logan is also relaxed Jai is feeling decidedly lazy, not too tired to get excited but neither is he in a mood to act so he lets his boy lead the way for them. Jai hums his own agreement and opens up for Logan, thrilled to feel that he isn’t the only one aroused by this, his free hand settling on the bare skin where Lo’s shirt has ridden up.

Some good old fashioned making out is always a good thing, particularly for Logan, who rarely gets to indulge in it. So he takes his time, kissing, and petting Jai, his hands stroking and mapping out warm skin.

Jai is also enjoying the languidness of it, their bodies pressed together, touching and learning. He runs his fingers through Lo’s thick hair, traces the shell of his ear, slides his hand under the shirt to feel muscles moving under fine skin.

“Can I eat ice cream in bed?” Logan’s request is punctuated by little kisses to the corner of Jai’s mouth. “With you?”

Chuckling, Jai chases Lo’s mouth for another kiss, nipping his bottom lip, “Okay, as long as you get it and if you spill it you have to change the sheets.” He goes in for another kiss as his hand slips down the back of Logan’s jeans, middle finger teasing the crease.

“If I spill it, it will be on you, and I’ll be licking it clean,” Logan wriggles away from that probing finger. “You want more scotch to take up?” He pushes away, making to slide off Jai’s lap.

Jai grabs a handful of shirt and stops Logan where he is, “I have enough scotch,” he rumbles lowly as his muscular arm drags Lo back in for another kiss. He dominates this one like he hasn’t yet tonight, tongue sweeping through his lover’s mouth and lips, wide and wet, “But not enough of you … Lo.”

And Logan melts, into Jai’s arms, into his kisses, his pliancy writ in every line of his body.

Some time later they make it to the bedroom, Jai with his scotch and Logan with a big bowl of icecream, the only light is the bedside lamps and the window is cracked to let just a hint of the off shore breeze in, before long they won’t be able to have it open at all so Jai makes the most of it.

“Are you comfortable?” Jai raises an eyebrow at Logan all propped up on pillows as he climbs into what’s become ‘his side’ of the bed clad only in some soft boxers.

Logan sucks the ice cream from the spoon and smiles beatifically at Jai. “Huh huh,” he nods. He eyes Jai intently, as if he’s waiting for him to steal his ice cream.

Leaning the only remaining pillow against the headboard Jai sips his scotch, it’s weird because he hasn’t cleaned his teeth and he pretty much never drinks anything in bed. He smiles at Logan thinking that this young man has already changed him and that was nothing he expected. “Good, how’s the ice cream?”

“Awesome,” Logan scoops up the last mouthful and slips it in his mouth, a noise of appreciation follows moments later.

Jai’s surprised at how fast Lo ate, he nods at the bowl, “Did it even touch the sides?”

“Yes!” Logan has the good grace to look a little shame faced. “I’ll have more later,” he vows, setting the bowl on the bedside and wriggling down to sprawl in the huge bed.

Jai chuckles around the last swallow of his drink and flicks off the light, shrugging down to lay on his back beside Logan, “Come here,” he rumbles, raising his arm over his head, “I want more of my Logan kisses.”

‘..my Logan...’ Logan likes the sound of that, it’s so much more intimate than the generic ‘baby’. He’s smiling as he snuggles up, one hand on Jai’s chest to brace himself as he leans in to deliver the requested kisses.

Feeling very relaxed and pleasantly buzzed as the liquor kicks in Jai hums, opening up to Logan and despite his cock responding and the stress of the week he’s in no hurry. As Lo gets closer Jai drops his hand to Lo’s ass, cupping the firm mounds and squeezing encouragement.

In no time at all Logan’s clambering up to straddle Jai, his ass settled over his lover’s erection. “Hmm, you feel good,” he purrs into Jai’s mouth, more than content to be on top.

“Yes I do,” Jai smiles back happy that he now has both hands on Logan’s ass, gripping and squeezing, gently teasing the cheeks apart. “And you feel fucking amazing,” he returns the compliment, his lips pressed to his boy’s.

“We need a rubber, lube,” Logan points out, “Then I’m gonna ride you,” the promise is made with a smile and a biting nip to Jai’s lower lip. Sharp enough to sting.

“Top drawer,” Jai growls and grins, Lo knew he’d get that response. Logan leans over, his lovely cock coming into Jai’s view, he’d been prepared to let Lo have his way and he still will but the thought of getting his mouth on that has it watering. “Wait a sec,” Jai tells him and uses the grasp he has on Logan’s ass to guide him further up.

Logan falls forward, one hand on the headboard he laughs, low and throaty. “What are you doing?” he giggles as he’s manhandled up Jai’s body.

“Wanna taste,” Jai gets Lo’s knees at his side and raises his head to lap at the end of Logan’s cock, telling him in a low voice, “c’m on, fuck my mouth.”

“Oh!” Logan’s noise of surprise is two fold, the play of Jai’s tongue over his sensitive dick and the demand...one that he’s never been asked of by a dominant. “You’re sure?” his breath hitches.

“Uh huh,” Jai nods, mouth open and eyes twinkling, his own cock is leaking and sticking to his shorts.

Bracing himself on the headboard, Logan feeds his cock into Jai’s mouth, huffing out a breath when his lover’s lips close around him. “Oh fuck...”

“Mmmm,” that’s what he was after. Jai’s eyes slip closed, he tilts his head back to best accommodate Logan and relaxes. He sucks and slurps and moans, his hands caressing Logan’s ass and thighs, and just enjoys it.

It’s a new experience for Logan, and one he finds he rather likes - thank-you-very-much, he rocks his hips, his chin on his chest as he watches his cock disappearing in and out of Jai’s mouth.

Jai lets Logan go until he gets a taste of precome then he hums again, this time intentionally when Lo’s cock is deep in his throat. As he expected Lo gifts him more of his sweet juice and he sucks harder.

“Oh fuck....close!” Logan grinds out, his teeth clenched as his balls pulls up, his skin goosebumping.

Jai wasn’t sure he wanted Logan to come in his mouth, but since he’s already there … why stop the inevitable? Jai’s hands go to Lo’s ass and tease the cheeks apart again, fingers find the tempting dip in the middle and graze the pucker.

That caress lights up all kinds of nerve ending in Logan, he makes a strangled noise and then orgasms, in the wet heat of his lovers mouth.

As Logan floods his mouth Jai grabs his hips and pulls him back, the last couple of spurts dribbling over Jai’s cheek and chin. He swallows thickly and looks up at Logan, grinning, “Better than ice cream.”

Blinking, his gaze unfocused, Logan stares down, breathless. He slides his tongue over his lower lip, “Dirty!” he murmurs, his mouth tilting at the corner.

“Hmm, love me some dirty boy spunk,” Jai growls, “come ‘ere and get some.” Now he’s all grabby hands, tugging at Logan and dragging him down for more kisses, the cooling come dripping off his face and onto the pillow.

“M’not a dirty boy,” Logan protests, as he’s being pulled down, Jai’s hands all over him, “M’good boy,” the last is lost in Jai’s mouth as their lips and tongues meet.

The mess between them and the taste of all of Logan is driving Jai mad with need, he can’t touch enough, his hips thrusting up of their own accord. “Not too good I hope,” Jai smiles wickedly.

“I can never be that around you,” Logan bites at Jai’s lower lip again. “You gonna stick that dick in me or not?” he quirks a brow.

Jai growls, “Fuck yes, where’s the lube?” He pulls Lo’s cheeks apart again in search of that hole, “Wanna get in you so bad.”

It’s clumsy, Logan drops the lube, and then ends up dripping it all over Jai’s belly before he gets it on his fingers so he can reach around and add it to where Jai’ is teasing his hole. “C’mon,” he urges as he discards the tube and leans forward on his hands.

While Lo is busy Jai lifts his hips and pushes his shorts down, his cock touching Logan’s ass cheek before he realises he’s not covered. “Shit,” he doesn’t want to stop but they haven’t talked about this, “condom?”

Logan pauses - he knows they’re both clean, he checked himself when Jai was last tested - and he knows he is too - even so. “S’your call, I’m the one who gets exposed,” It has to be Jai’s choice - his call.

He knows the club’s rules and regulations, knows that Lo is required to be safe, now is the moment when he has to decide if he trusts Logan and it’s kind of a big deal for Jai. The last time he had unprotected sex was with her and he’s counting his lucky stars that she didn’t get as pregnant as she hoped. This is nothing like that and as Jai looks intently into Lo’s eyes he knows, “I trust you Lo. Are you ready?”

Blinking, Logan nods, his fingers press into Jai’s skin just a little more, he’s trembling, his arousal building once more.

Jai can’t tell if it’s Logan’s excitement or something else but his boy is suddenly serious, instead of speaking and breaking the spell he gently draws Lo into a tender kiss as he guides his cock to Lo’s hole.

He’s had bare back sex before - it’s not new to Logan, but this is the first time with someone he really cares about - someone to whom it means more than that it just feeling better, or some other random, bullshit excuse. He murmurs - wordless noises - into Jai’s mouth as he takes all of his lover’s cock.

“Oh,” Jai sighs, if he could think he’d say something but he’s all but forgotten what this felt like, though it’s more likely the thought of it that’s so much more exciting. He tightens his hold on Logan, wrapping strong arms around him and driving up deep into him, “fuck.”

Eyes closed, Logan lets go - lets himself get lost in the strength of Jai’s arms, the smell of his skin, the taste of his kisses, and the pressure of how it feels to have his ass filled over and over, and it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful to be able to trust someone enough to surrender himself to the pleasure.

He’s come quickly before, with Lo, when he’s so desperate to get off. Tonight however he’s close to beating all his previous times and that’s not something Jai is happy about. He reluctantly loosens his grip, sliding his hands up to Lo’s shoulders and gently easing his lover up. “Lo … it’s going too quick,” Jai sighs, managing to stave off his orgasm, “ride me? Make it last please Logan."

“No!” Logan’s shaking his head, “You cum in me, then we’ll fuck straight through to the next one...I can make that happen,” He has tricks, little moves he can employ to make sure Jai won’t lose his erection in between. “Trust me,”

It’s a moot point anyway, Jai is coming whether he likes it or not. And for the record, he likes it. Hoping that Lo is as good as his word Jai lets go with a growl, dragging Logan back down for a punishing kiss, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. The orgasm rips right through him, his entire body shuddering.

Logan gives as good as he gets. He’s growling when he tears his mouth away, pushing up to ride out those last few waves of Jai’s pleasure, he feels it, the wet heat inside him, marked now as Jai’s own - lover, boy, whatever, he doesn’t care right now.

“Hmmm, I can feel it, your cum in my ass, making me a dirty boy huh Jai?” He purrs, his hands pressing into Jai’s chest. “I want more, I want it again,” he demands, tilting his hips.

It turns out Logan was right, all those words serve to rile Jai again, what was tender before has turned to pure lust. Despite being spent his cock flexes and rears up inside that slick tight channel, he hasn’t fucked Lo enough to loosen him. Second time around though he going to have to take charge, it’ll be longer and harder and a whole lot more intense.

Jai digs in his heels and grasps Lo’s waist, pulling him off and dumping him on the bed with a gleam in his eye. “Over,” he commands lowly, desperate not dominant, though he can’t keep that entirely from his voice, “c’mon, up on your knees Logan.”

He loves being manhandled, and he finds he loves it most from Jai - though Joe...Joe might be a close second, smoking hot men the pair of them.

Rolling over Logan puts his ass in the air, presenting it to Jai. “Can you see it? Your cum in my ass? I want more,” he repeats his earlier demand. “Fuck me again, fuck me hard and fuck me deep Jai,”

Jai can see it, he pauses chest heaving and without considering that as much as he loves it he’d never go in dirty - until now. He slides his fingers over Lo’s hole, it’s loose, not gaping like he’d love to see it, slips a single finger inside and as he brings it back out replaces it with his mouth.

The finger was warning enough, he knows how fucking obsessed Jai is with his ass, so he allows a couple of moment of Jai’s tongue playing over his hole before he grinds out, his voice a little strained. “Cock...fuck me with your cock...”

It’s not what he wants but something in Lo’s tone, begging? Demanding? Needing? That focuses Jai and he sits back thinking that one day soon he will eat Logan’s ass until he’s dry. He swipes a hand across his face, wiping _his_ come away and moves up close, “You want my cock?” The question is irrelevant because Jai is already sliding it in, deep, in a single thrust and moaning.

Logan arches back into Jai, making damned sure he has every inch of that fat dick in him. Then he starts to move back, one hand braced on the bed, the other wrapped around his own cock, stroking it to get his hard again. “Hmm, fuck, yes....more...fuck me...”

He doesn’t realise at first just how hard he’s fucking into Logan until it starts to sting where their skin is meeting, that ratchets up Jai to the point where he can feel his orgasm building. All of Lo’s noises and the way he’s pushing back is like crack to Jai, he’s definitely going to come again and soon. He spies Lo’s shoulder moving and Jai wants it to be his hand on his boyfriend’s sweet length so he pulls Logan up against his chest. “Give it to me, I want your cock too. Want your ass,” he grunts, “want your come, want it all.”

“Yes!” Logan grabs Jai’s hand and guides it to his cock, his cock is slick with precum, it’s weeping from his slit in copious amounts. “Yes! Take it all...all of it, all of me,” Logan pleads, he’s flushed, sweating his ass hurts so good and he just wants to let go - to let go and drown in the overload of sensation.

Jai’s hands are everywhere, he’s thrusting on instinct but he’s touching with purpose; pinching nipples, grasping hips, pulling balls and jerking Lo’s cock remorselessly. “Come on,” Jai groans, “give it to me … baby boy.”

Just like that, Logan snaps, his body bows back and he convulses on Jai’s cock - it’s possibly the most violent orgasm he has ever experienced. His eyes roll and he makes a strangled noise as his visions greys out at the edges.

“Fuck!” Three things happen simultaneously; Logan’s ass clamps down, Jai comes through exquisite pain and Logan slumps back. Jai’s panting as he carefully lays Logan on the bed, only able to extract his cock once Lo has collapsed. He then bends over his boy and gently strokes his face, “Lo? You there gorgeous? Logan, come back to me baby.”

Logan hadn’t entirely lost consciousness, so much as his body had just shut down and he’d retreated to the quietness of head space. He turns his head to Jai’s voice and lifts his lids. His whole body trembling with the after effects of the sex.

When Lo’s eyes open Jai immediately kisses him, it’s tender and reverent, “Fuck Lo, you’re incredible,” he lies down and draws Logan in, holding him close and dragging the sheets back up, “sexy and amazing and I love you …” each word is muffled where Jai’s lips press to Logan’s face.

He’s got nothing - Logan had given everything to the sex, so now he’s left wrung out, tired and his brain is refusing to join in the party. He allows himself to be petted and cradled, needing it more than he’d admit, he turns his mouth up for a kiss, but he’s silent, pliant, utterly done in.

Something he hasn’t had to worry about for a couple of months occurs to Jai, aftercare, he should and will get up soon, get water and a cloth, he will check Logan’s hole to make sure he isn’t damaged. Soon. He takes Logan’s offer of his mouth and very tenderly kisses him again, “Are you okay Lo? You need some water?”

Logan licks out over his lips before he tries to speak. “No, scotch n ice cream,” the smile is wide and a little vacant. “You get that, m’showering,”

Jai’s bemused, “Who’s that for?” He likes the idea of a shower a lot more than another drink right now.

“Me!” Logan wriggles out of Jai’s arms and pushes to sit up, his hair is stuck out at all odd angles and he looks exactly how he feels. Well and truly fucked.

“But you don’t like scotch,” Jai’s loathe to leave Lo, his eyes are still too wide and too far away, “how about we both shower then we go down and see what there is?”

“I like how it tastes on your mouth,” He pushes up and stands, pausing to make sure his legs are steady. “I want to shower on my own, just need a few is all,” His words are a little slurred and he knows it. “Then bed...and you, you and bed,”

“Off you go then,” Jai makes no move to leave the bed, the sheets need freshening and he will do that while Lo’s in the bathroom but he’s not going too far away.

When Logan returns his skin is pink from the hot water, and he has a towel draped around his shoulders. He yawns and blinks as Jai finishes up with remaking the bed. “Did we make a mess?”

“Just a bit,” Jai’s grinning sheepishly, “warm it up, I’ll be with you in five.” Jai kisses Lo lightly as he passes and heads for the bathroom. True to his word he is showered and back in five minutes only to find a quietly snoring boy in his bed. He climbs in behind Logan and wraps him up, whispering ‘I love yous’ while he drifts off.

END

 

 

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